'Create
a Life You Love' Newsletter
| ISSUE #16: 'TIME TO RISK MORE?'
'Life coaching tips on having MORE in your life. More fun, more love, more peace, more excitement.' David Wood, PCC |
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Contents
1. Announcements/Offers
2. 'Time to Risk More?' (FEATURE)
3. The Personal Touch
4. About the 'Create a Life You Love' Newsletter
1. Announcements/Offers
Can you imagine being a fly on the wall…
For some of my very best coaching sessions from the last 3 years? Listening to a client have a powerful breakthrough? Or hear me mentor a coach on building a successful web site?
Even better - I’ve whittled them down to the power sections – some clips are only 1-5 minutes! Check it out here:
2. FEATURE: Time to Risk More?
(Note to reader: As always, of course you need to be willing to take all consequences of your actions.)
100 people aged 100 were asked: “What do you regret most? What would you do differently?”
The majority answered: “I wish I had risked more”.
We regret the things we don't do, far more than the things we do. Fear STOPS us living. We get a sense of security.... which can be upset at any moment anyway. Control is an illusion - we can't control events. So it’s a sad joke on us humans that the people who try hardest to live in their comfort zones get upset the most.
Once we accept that we can’t control life, and that comfort is not very fulfilling, we are free to risk. What can happen? Rejection, moving into a smaller home, losing our partner, breaking an arm, losing a job we like etc. But above all we fear looking silly, foolish, or failing at something.
What would your life be like if for the past 10 years you had lived without fear?
What if life is a game, and we've forgotten? We attach significance to everything - no I can't ask her out because XXXX, I shouldn't apply for that job - I wouldn't get it. I'm not going to take singing lessons - I'm not any good.
If you feel you are at risk of regretting not fully living your life when you lie on your death bed, I invite you to complete the following exercise:
Optional Exercise: Write down three areas where you play it safe. Pick one area where you are willing to risk more. Play a bigger game. Live LIFE! (Is it dating? Communication - telling the truth ALWAYS! Going on a holiday - backpacking through South America? Making a commitment - moving in/marriage? LEAVING a relationship!!? Pick one, and share it with a friend.
Top Ten Suggestions To Risk More
(Note to reader: As always, of course you need to be willing to take all consequences of your actions.)
1) Tell the truth, regardless of the consequences
2) Say ‘no’ when you feel ‘no’
3) Ask for what you want in your job (e.g. location, pay rise)
4) Go for the job you REALLY want
5) Ask out that guy/girl you REALLY want to go out with
6) Ask for something you REALLY want in your relationship.
7) Move to where you REALLY want to live
8) Say ‘yes’ to something with an uncertain outcome.
9) Book an adventure outside your comfort zone (e.g. horse riding, white water rafting, sky diving, sailing.)
10) Be vulnerable to someone you’re arguing/in conflict with.
Relationship Corner
Unappreciated - KC, Australia
I'm always thinking about what my partner needs, what I need, how things can improve. I'm feeling rather drained by it all. He won't do the dishes, I always cook etc but then he has started a business and needs a lot of support and if he were on his own he wouldn't cook anyway. So is it true that this is my choice and I shouldn't expect him to help out especially when he is so busy? I feel not only selfish and demanding but also unappreciated.
COACH: KC, I see your dilemma. You have a natural need to feel appreciated, so I want you to get this met. Why don't you write a list of three things he could do that leave you feeling appreciated? You can start by asking for these, and showing appreciation when he does them. And if need be, you can let him know you'll be dropping back on the house duties so you feel less resentful. That way he gets a choice!
Scaring them Off? AH – USA
Firstly AH, I’d ask: What are the chances you are subconsciously choosing men not ready for a commitment? Secondly, curious that you kept it light, but he felt you’re after something serious. Is it possible you’re acting one way, but wanting another? This will certainly cause you trouble.
COACH: I feel for you MB.
AH: My girlfriends are finding the same situations-that the men are the ones to jump into a relationship or to spur things along, then they reach a certain point (when we think all is going great) and just pull back. What's a girl to do?
COACH: Unfortunately AH, the natural tendancy to gather evidence from your friends to support your position, only makes you right, not happy. I’d suggest the standard approach I use with most clients in this situation.
List the kind of relationship you’re after, list the kind of guy you’re looking for, and list where they hang out. Then move in those circles, and broadcast to the world who you’re looking for. And no pretending it’s just friends if you’re after a life partner!
Enjoy,
3. The Personal Touch
Well – here’s the update over this last month:
I’ve seen how much I need/crave acceptance/love from my partner. And when she is feeling unloved/unhappy, I can quickly feel unloved, and vice versa. It’s hard for starving people to feed each other, yes? Great chance for growth – ouch!
The book (a relationship guide for men) is flowing. I’m excited about the feedback I’m getting and am now preparing for submission to a publisher.
Bron and I have decided to spend January 2003 in New York! We’re currently seeking someone in Manhattan who wants to do an apartment exchange and live rent free on Sydney’s waterfront for a month. Very exciting! Let us know if you’re interested.
I’m excited about the idea of putting more affordable coaching type services on my site e.g. ebooks, downloadable forms etc. But it will have to wait for a couple of months and create some time for this project.
Cheers!
David.
4. About the 'Create a Life You Love' Newsletter
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David Wood is a personal and business coach, and a founder of the International Coach Academy - a global company training coaches in nine countries. He is a Professional Certified Coach with the International Coach Federation (ICF) based in Washington, D.C.
David has coached people in 13 countries via telephone and email. He helps people tap into their passion and adventure, and get into action! He works with professionals on career direction and personal issues, with small business owners, and managers/executives. He also helps coaches start or accelerate their coaching practice via the CoachStart™ Program at http://www.CoachStart.com/Mentor.htm