Coaching Principles: Suspend Your Opinions and Judgments
The following is an excerpt from the CoachStart Manual.
Coaching is not advice. It’s coaching. As a human being, you will have opinions regarding what a client should do. But you need to be really clear about when this is your opinion, versus helping them get clear for themselves on what they should do. At different times, your client will want both.
“Should I break up with my boyfriend?” A coaching response might be: “What is best for you?”
I had a client looking to make extra income. She was actually considering applying to work for an escort agency. My initial reaction, which I stifled, was — “Surely there’s an alternative to prostitution!” But remembering I had my coaching hat on, I asked her why. It seemed she didn’t have any moral judgments about it, and thought it might actually be an interesting experience. She did have other options, so it wasn’t coming out of desperation. In fact, I discovered the main thing holding her back from pursuing this avenue, was worrying about what a future partner might think of her — which I don’t find a powerful reason for any decision! In the course of time, she made her own decision not to follow that path. But she wasn’t stifled by the judgments and opinions of her coach.
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