I’d like your ‘life coaching’ articles

Posted by David Wood |

I’m looking for good articles on ‘life coaching’ or ‘business coaching’to add to our network of sites.

In fact, I’m going for 100! Have some? Want to write some?

REQUIREMENTS
– Minimum of 300 words (no maximum).
– must be on the topic of coaching. (see below for a list of suggested key words or titles)
– you must own the copyright
– include your full name and contact information (note once your contact information is provided, it cannot be updated later on, so please double check)

IF YOU HAVE ARTICLES THAT QUALIFY:
Please post them here (they can all be in the one post if you like).

TO WRITE AN ARTICLE(S):
Just pick one line below in the ‘List of Keywords/Topics’, and make sure the words on that line appear frequently in the article. Then post them here.

Go on – you can dash one off in 10 minutes using what you already know. (I just stopped to write a short one in 5).

WHAT WE’LL DO:
If we choose your articles (and many, many will be chosen), we’ll post it on our site(s), with brief, summarized contact information. We will list your web site.

Note that ACTIVE links back to your site will be limited to one active link per five articles submitted.

By submitting your articles, you’re agreeing we may tweak or edit the content to suit our purposes, and may publish it forever, so long as we maintain attribution to you. You may still publish your article anywhere else you like.

SUGGESTED LIST OF KEYWORDS/TOPICS
life coaching, life coach, life coaches
business coaching, business coach
david wood
executive coaching, executive coach
corporate coaching, corporate coach
coaching, coach
life coach training, life coaching training, coach training
dr. phil, dr phil, doctor phil
tony robbins, anthony robbins
Certified life coach, Certified life coach training
Life coach certification, Life coaching certification
Life coach accreditation
Life coaching schools
Wayne dyer [Art: mention him as a coach, how he coaches/trains people] Steven covey [Art: mention him as a coach, how he coaches/trains people] sales coach
coach training institute, coaches training institute
coach university, coachu, coach u
counseling career [Art: whether to choose a career in counseling or coaching] therapy career [Art: whether to choose a career in therapy or coaching]

SUBMIT YOUR ARTICLES!
Post one. Write one. Post several. Write several.
The earlier they come in, the more chance they have of being chosen.

Click here to post your articles, or any comments or suggestions.

Happy writing!

David

Facebook Comments Box

Share and Enjoy:

Get New Posts via Email

About David Wood

For 20 years David has helped entrepreneurs around the globe to grow their results, by growing themselves. A former consulting actuary to Fortune 50 companies in New York, David quit corporate life to pursue his inner journey, which now deeply influences his work. A digital nomad, David is currently dancing salsa, paragliding, and coaching his rock star entrepreneur clients from Colombia. His specialty is doubling your productivity and profits, while halving your stress. If you become a highly authentic and inspirational leader in the process, well….that can’t be helped.

63 Comments

Leave your reply.

Kyung Ahmau
· Reply

Thursday, September 2, 2010 at 10:48 PM

Cambridge graduate-0
Reginald Lappa
· Reply

Tuesday, August 31, 2010 at 1:33 AM

no! not ok! hand lotion is very harsh and strong. its fine on your hands because the skin on your hands is hard and alot toupher then the skin on your face
Chang Samiento
· Reply

Sunday, May 30, 2010 at 7:32 PM

Hello,this is Chang Samiento,just discovered your web-site on google and i must say this blog is great.may I share some of the information found in the post to my local buddies?i am not sure and what you think?anyhow,Many thanks!
Holly Bozovich
· Reply

Sunday, March 21, 2010 at 6:56 PM

We always enjoy reading your posts, i just used the website Swap my Seeds, as a way of giving away my unused seeds. Anyone know what I can sell them for? I have maybe 250 lobelia seeds left.
mark verma
· Reply

Sunday, March 21, 2010 at 8:09 AM

Hi good Post. YOu try wright more post on same topic.
Rebecca's Blog
· Reply

Friday, February 1, 2008 at 1:09 AM

Inner Sanctuary

Stress is listed as the leading cause of many health problems. It can weaken your immune system, leaving you susceptible to illness. It can also impact your nervous system, contributing to headaches, chronic fatigue and migraines. The problem with stress is that it eventually affects each of us at some time in our lives. We know we cannot avoid stress, therefore we must learn to manage stress.
We have all heard the typical advice from our doctors when we complete our physical and tell them how tired and overwhelmed we feel:

Get some rest.
Eat healthy.
Exercise.
Do some Yoga.
Learn to relax.
Great advice, but challenging with an already overloaded schedule.
I even recall a family member who suffered with severely high blood pressure after delivery of her son, sharing with me her methods to teach herself patience, an attempt to lower the stress in her life and ultimately, lower her blood pressure. She was a type AAA personality and her life was full of structure and routine. She forced herself into “Scenarios Needing Patience” on purpose. She chose the longest line at the check out and tried to hum while noticing items in other’s baskets. She took the long way home and stopped at the yellow lights. She made bank deposits at lunch time and avoided Fast Food. It looked as though life took her longer to get through, but honestly, at the end of each week, she still accomplished close to the same amount of tasks as she did with her previous rushed method. And, to me, her training program worked. She is the most patient person one could ever hope to encounter.

I honestly tried her training program and it almost killed me. I’m not the most patient person one would encounter and I’m fine with that. I did, in the process of learning to manage stress in my life, uncover a new solution for me that I would like to share.
Inner Sanctuary.

I needed a plan that stayed with me; provide learning opportunities without driving or a bank teller. And the only plan that kept rising to the surface was one that included ONLY me in it.

I will be with myself for the rest of my life. Why not create a place inside of me that is my safe haven? Before I could create a harmonious environment inside of me, I needed to make some changes in my life about my perspective of self. Here is the five-step process I used to create an Inner Sanctuary, a haven to nurture my life in:

1. Accept Myself. My sanctuary needs to be a place of self-love. Criticism is no longer acceptable behavior in my mind. Negative remarks about myself will get me placed in a time out.

2. Quiet Time. I need to carve time out of my schedule to spend with ME. I need time to get to know myself and explore my thoughts. I use this time to meditate, read scripture or journal. One thing is certain; you cannot create a sanctuary in a strange and unfamiliar place.

3. Triggers. A trigger is a reminder to oneself. My trigger is a ring I wear that has the birthstones of my three children. When I start to feel stressed or overwhelmed, I look at my ring and reminds me to slow down and go within.

4. Use Your Sanctuary. So how do you use your sanctuary once you arrive? The choice is yours, after all, this is your place, decorate it as you will. Once I slow down and focus on me I make a short check list to help me evaluate that which is overwhelming me.

What am I feeling?

Am I physically responding?
(rapid heart beat, shortness of breath, heated face)

Why am I responding this way?

What can I do about it?

Once I evaluate the situation, I can explore in my own way, the answers I need to resolve and untangle the strain of the moment. Now in a fight or flight situation, I ask that you rely on your instincts, don’t slow down. But your Inner Sanctuary asks for you to rely on your instincts too. To listen to your heart. I often use my sanctuary during Yoga or a run as well. The beautiful thing about your own sanctuary? It is always with you and it is rent free!

Rebecca Evans is an Author, Certified Empowerment Coach and Motivational Speaker. You can order her workbooks and journals at http://www.amazon.com or in local bookstores. To contact her: http://www.inner-element.com.
Patti Zarn
· Reply

Sunday, July 29, 2007 at 12:12 PM

COURAGE RETURNING
Using Your Internal Spiritual Scale

Written by Patti Zarn
Spiritual Coach
http://www.orlandospiritspa.com

My dearest friend was abducted from her home and taken to a nearby orange grove where the assailant raped her. Fearing for her life, her courage burst through and she escaped from him and ran for help. I was called, at her request, to come down and support her through the process of medical exams and police interviews the same day of the crime. The entire experience was an extraordinary example of our ability to connect to how truly powerful we are as spiritual beings.

Tragic experiences like this often require a certified therapist but even in life coaching, we deal with the essence of fear. The fear can range from intense fright to subtle levels of worrying. Throughout the range it will match the intensity of courage or faith returning. Coaching often requires us to guide a client through difficult choices and situations. For example, their resistance to change is often based in fear. When we react to a situation with fear, we are resisting our divine state of Courage and Faith. No matter the degree of fear your experiencing it is always an opportunity to experience a level of divinity within yourself.

Not all opportunities for spiritual growth comes through such intense adversity such as my friend experienced, however, often in those tragic times is when we have the most growth. My friend could have become a victim that day but she connected with her powerful spirit. Her objective was to live. She would say that it was a “fear for her life” that made her run for safety. I understand it was her divine state of courage returning that pushed through her resistance (fear).

“Anytime you have an opportunity to go from fear to faith, it is an opportunity to switch from directing your power outside yourself to directing it to self-empowering options. Going within yourself for answers as to why things are attracted into your life, is where you will find the greatest growth. What you are feeling when you feel fear is your resistance to your Divine state of courage and faith. As we peel the layers, whether tied to your emotional, mental or physical state, you will find what you are experiencing is your separation from your core essence. Each of us has a core essence that is so brilliant it would make you weep.” Awareness Process training course

The Awareness Process (AP) is a coach training technique that explains how to guide your clients to feel where they are resisting their core essence. AP training explains how we use our internal spiritual scale to transform our perception of emotional states, such as fear, grief and anger, into our divine states of grace, courage and joy, simply by learning to feel our resistance to them. For instance, if you find yourself, or a client, in a situation of embarrassment, (shame and guilt on the scale) you can quickly switch to the higher understanding that you’re experiencing an opportunity for your divine essence of Grace and Worthiness to return to its rightful center within you. You can coach them to release the shame by feeling the Grace returning. Grace is the vibrational quality of our divine essence that will shatter the illusion of shame within us. To focus primarily on the shame only attracts more of the same and ignores the potential for returning to our roots. This coaching technique is a simple and effective way to empower clients to remember their core essences.

Patti Zarn
©July 2007
Nging Tan
· Reply

Sunday, July 15, 2007 at 10:47 PM

It’s a Kind of Magic
by Nging Tan, ACC
Executive Coach International, Singapore

Perhaps quite an unexpected descriptor for its corporate origins, my experience of coaching thus far has and will forever have the gloss of the magical. My first coaching session I received as a client ended when I had an Eureka moment and the basis of the problem fell apart and problem solved. Ta-dah!

Contrary to the typical paradigm of hiring someone to dish out advice, this rush of self-discovery in coaching is made possible precisely because I was not told what to do. As I became a coach myself, I came to realize that there is no fixed ‘coaching-hat’ to wear. Instead of an adviser, a coach has to play a myriad of subtly different roles as a facilitator, a listening ear, a mirror, a catalyst and more to engage the client in a process of loosening the hold of what is already present and obvious on them so that they can begin to explore what is on the other side. Kind of like looking into the box to see what is inside in order to get out of it. At times, it is simply about giving a safe space for someone to reflect upon their lives and to air their deepest thoughts. We soften what is fixed and draw people out into what is possible. It never ceases to amaze me how a simple conversation when skillfully conducted can go so deep and make so much difference in so little time. Like an expert contortionist maneuvering around an obstacle course, the most artful of coaches are able to facilitate their clients into untangling their problems by themselves as they inquire into what is at the crux the problem. This brings to mind the ancient Chinese Proverb, “it takes one who tied the bell on the tiger’s neck to untie it”.

Yes, behind a successful coach is hard work, there are the technicalities and skill sets to hone and pick up, clarity to sharpen, experience to be gain, there is always self-work that can be done so that we may continue to carry the fire of what is possible for the people we work with and I take it on gladly so that I can pass on the magic of what my coaches have done for me. It is a new way of living.
agelessandfree
· Reply

Sunday, July 15, 2007 at 6:50 PM

The Value of Life Coaching
by Aila Accad, RN, MSN

Her name is Barbara. I met her at a business-networking event. When I told her I am a Life Coach, she shouted with conviction, “I need to talk to you!” Our coaching relationship began the next week.

Barbara is a bright, bubbly petite blonde woman with two young children, a husband and a home-based business. She works night and day to keep all the areas of her life functioning the best she can, but nothing is enough. This intelligent, successful woman feels that no matter how hard she tries, her life keeps falling apart. “Nothing is exactly the way I want it.” she says.

There was a powerful moment in our first coaching session when, as she was trying to describe the gap she felt between what she wanted and what she was living, she burst into tears, “The worst part is I don’t even know who I am anymore.” Barbara struggled to decide what she wanted, because she had lost touch with her Self.

This is the heart of life coaching. It is helping people reconnect with their deepest desires and consciously take their life into their own hands.

Sometimes life moves so fast, we don’t take the time to reflect on where we are going and what is most important to us. It is so easy to get caught up in the “shoulds” in our head (a good mother should, a good wife should, a good business woman should) or the pressures from outside (media, friends, employers and others) who add more responsibilities to our already full plate. Before long, our ‘to-do’ list is so extensive we become overwhelmed and don’t know where to begin to sort through the multiple priorities. There just isn’t enough time to do it all, and for successful people – to do it all to our own satisfaction.

This is Barbara’s dilemma, and the dilemma of many people, especially working Moms who must juggle multiple hats continuously every day. Life coaching is the solution.

Life coaches are skilled in creating a safe environment to ponder these important questions of life. Life coaching helps sort through the mixed messages in your mind and reconnects you with your personal truth. Your life coach teaches you how to turn down the volume on the inner critic and stand in your power to choose your best direction. In addition, the best life coaches teach people the skills they need to self coach over time.

From the first session, Barbara felt more empowered. Her important issues are clearer to her. She is confident that life coaching is helping her get her life back and teaching her the skills to keep it in her own hands. On her way out the door, she said, “When I came here today, I felt hopeless. Now, I have a sense of hope.”

Life Coaching has many powerful moments. What a privilege and joy it is to help people re-claim their lives!

Aila Accad, RN, MSN
‘The De-Stress Expert’
Speaker, Trainer & Life Coach
LifeQuest International, LLC
http://www.ailaspeaks.com

copyright 2007 Aila Accad
Gloria Tom Wing Staudt
· Reply

Saturday, July 14, 2007 at 6:34 PM

Leadership Impact –the coaching solution
by Gloria Tom Wing Staudt

Recently a colleague was describing some challenges relayed to her about the “boss”, the executive in her company. “He works till all hours and expects us to do the same. He doesn’t realize we have families and other important things in our lives.” This inspired today’s article on the impact of leadership. While much has been written, taught and read about leadership, this article focuses on one aspect – the ability to build strong relationships as the executive leader impacting the people you lead.

Whether you are a Business Owner, CEO, manager, or executive in a leadership role to guide others to higher levels of success, some competency factors that enhance your leadership include:
• Vision – Do you see beyond today and have a view of possibilities to create win-win-win results for all?
• Communication – How effectively do you communicate your vision? Do you regularly communicate about the contribution each makes towards the vision? How well do you listen hearing what is not said as well as what is said?
• Facilitation of teams – What is your willingness to step outside of the traditional “boss” or executive role to use facilitation skills in building effective teams?
• Inclusion – Do you provide all involved the opportunity to give input in establishing and implementing goals towards your vision? Do goals support important aspects of everyone’s lives?
• Role modeling – Do you “walk your talk”. Are you inspiring others by the person you are and the actions you commit to taking? How coachable are you? Are you willing to serve, be a follower and encourage the development of leaders?
• Fun & Creativity – Do you have a fun and creative approach to your leadership? How is fun and creativity encouraged? Do you see the impact of this on productivity and hence the bottom line?
• Celebration – Do you acknowledge accomplishments and celebrate in a consistent manner?
• Pride – How is a sense of pride reflected in daily business activities?
• Resiliency – How well do you “bounce back” from mistakes made by yourself and others? Are they viewed as opportunities for growth?

Leadership styles vary with individuals. However, regardless of your leadership style, the importance of how well you establish relationships with those you lead is significant to achieving higher levels of success. Your interpersonal skills may be enhanced through your increased self awareness of behaviors that you may need to change. Changing behaviors to be more effective as leaders is not a one time learning experience but requires ongoing support to be in the habit of being great leaders. This ongoing support comes through coaching, mentoring and a desire to follow through in evolving yourself.

Let‘s explore how our formula Connect + Assess + Take Action= Experience Successful Results might apply to the impact of your leadership. Connect with seeing the need, value and desire to make some changes. Assess where you are and what investment is necessary to inspire passionately engaged individuals. Are you coachable? Take Action immediately to be a more effective leader. Consult with your mentor and executive coach and identify your next step(s). The impact of your leadership is inclusive of your immediate goals and far reaching with its ripple effect, leaving a legacy of your unique contribution.

Gloria Tom Wing Staudt is a Success Coach with extensive experiences in private, corporate and non-profit organizations. Her passion is in helping people to live the masterpiece they are – their life lived to the fullest and at peace in all their relationships. Her Masters Degree in Psychology and Certification as a Certified Behavioral and Values Analyst benefits all who work with her. She is also President of the Burnaby Metrotown Rotary club which meets weekly for contribution to local and global communities. Collaborate with her as your executive coach enhance your executive leadership or for your team’s success. You can reach her by email at: gloria@peaksuccesscoaching.com or by phone at 604 523 6268. http://www.peaksuccesscoaching.com

Copyright 2007. Please feel free to share this article with others in its entirety or contact her for permission to use her articles in your publication.
——

Taking a Coach Approach in the workplace –the coaching solution
by Gloria Tom Wing Staudt

What type of environment do you work in? Is it common for people to tread carefully around certain people and only speak the truth when they are not around? Is competition adversarial and not friendly? Do people often feel a great deal of stress because affixing blame is usual when things go wrong or mistakes made? On the other hand, is inspiring and fun to go to work? Do people care about each other and work collaboratively? Is communication open? Is it common for people to speak the truth without fear of others taking things personally? Do problems get resolved quickly and cooperatively?
If you work in the former type of environment, you may believe that is just the way it is. If you work in the latter type of environment, you likely have more successful and enjoyable experiences. A coach approach taken by the leaders as well as all members of the business or organization can transform the former to the latter type of environment.
The following are 5 coach approaches:
1. Use Your Power of Choice – You always have choice in how you see everything. Consciously choosing your thoughts and response to a situation versus reacting from habit positively impacts the results you experience.
2. Take Full Responsibility – When you let go of affixing blame for mistakes made or when things do not go as planned and you take blameless responsibility to be part of the solution or find the opportunities from what has occurred, you contribute to an environment where everyone thrives and creative solutions emerge.
3. Collaborate – While you enforce changes by dominating and controlling. Collaboration will inspire more creative and sustained changes. Collaboration assumes respect and belief in people’s capacity to contribute.
4. Engage in Conversation and Dialog – Understanding that the final decision is to be made by the leader is a non issue when the leader engages in conversation to gather input. Sharing truthful, non judgmental observations and impacts of another’s behavior raises awareness and builds on working relationships
5. Listening attentively – Seeing everything you hear as information you are curious about increases the possibilities of creative ideas emerging.

James is a leader who often felt frustrated with his colleague’s behavior and did not share the truth of situations immediately. He would then be distracted by judgmental thoughts and regrets about not sharing the truth of the impact of his colleague’s behavior. When he used a coach approach in relating to his colleague, he learned that she was unaware of the impact of her behavior and shared her insight about the personal parallel of this work situation.
George Eliot said “The strongest principle of growth lies in human choice”. What choices will you make that is within your power?

Let‘s explore how our formula Connect + Assess + Take Action= Experience Successful Results will apply to a coach approach at work. Connect with your willingness to make changes to the approach you have been accustomed to. Assess what choices you have made and how you will take a coach approach in relating to everyone. Determine what skills you wish to develop and who can best serve to be on your support team. Take Action immediately on the next situation that arises. Ask for help and objective feedback to help you move forward.
A coach approach works. Be inspired by the results.

Gloria Tom Wing Staudt is a Success Coach with extensive experiences in private, corporate and non-profit organizations. Her passion is in helping people to live the masterpiece they are – their life lived to the fullest and at peace in all their relationships. Her Masters Degree in Psychology and Certification as a Certified Behavioral and Values Analyst benefits all who work with her. She is also President of the Burnaby Metrotown Rotary club which meets weekly for contribution to local and global communities. Collaborate with her as your executive coach enhance your executive leadership or for your team’s success. You can reach her by email at: gloria@peaksuccesscoaching.com or by phone at 604 523 6268. http://www.peaksuccesscoaching.com

Copyright 2007. Please feel free to share this article with others in its entirety or contact her for permission to use her articles in your publication.

———-

Time Management: The Key to Improving Productivity –the coaching solution
by Gloria Tom Wing Staudt

Do you wish you could improve productivity? Do you ever wonder how some people can accomplish so much in the same 24 hours that we all have? Well the obvious answer may be that they “manage” their time very well.
There are a number of factors that can have an influence on your productivity:
• Internal
o Having a “winning, positive, never give up, there’s always a solution” attitude
o Being “on purpose” with your intentions and in alignment with your Vision and goals
o Having emotional strength in being flexible, resilient and desiring “win-win”- outcomes
o Feeling in balance, being happy and at peace
• External
o Making your immediate work environment inspiring and easy to accomplish tasks
o Creating organized methods and having systems in place to move through tasks

Elimination of all distractions is the next step in improving productivity:
• Internal
o Focusing on limiting beliefs about yourself
o Holding on to grudges
o Feeling out of Balance – not happy, not at peace and choosing to hold on to guilty feelings
o Spending more than necessary time seeing mistakes as failures versus as opportunities for growth or development
o Allowing incomplete tasks to remain incomplete
• External
o Not scheduling time to incorporate stillness in your day
o Allowing emails or internet surfing to have unlimited time
o Allowing non-emergency phone call interruptions
o Allowing clutter and not designing your physical space for efficiency to help you do your genius work, stay focused and inspired

Two key factors in being successful in business and in life are awareness and action. Learn to be aware of the internal and external factors that will support or distract you from being focused on what’s important. Takes the necessary action steps to be more productive in all choices made while enjoying the process. A Life or Success Coach is a great person to invest in the transformation of your life.

Let‘s explore how our formula Connect + Assess + Take Action= Experience Successful Results might apply in discovering and strategizing how you “manage” your time. Connect with the painful and unbalanced feelings you may have about how inefficiently you are operating. Do you seem to be in crisis mode more as a rule than as an exception? Might you have gone off track from the vision you have of yourself or your business? What are your priorities? What will help you feel “on purpose” every day? Having that clarity, you are ready to Assess your internal and external experiences of what inspires your genius work and what are the many powerful distractions standing in the way of you being more productive. Is your work “busy”, meaningful or necessary? If you had used a time management system and it did not work, might you design your unique just right for you system that does work? Might obtaining an objective assessment of how and why you behave in a certain style be helpful to you? What are the costs, tangible and intangible, of not making necessary changes? Once you have assessed where you are, Take Action immediately for what will likely work for you to accomplish your goals. Might a light hearted playful approach or perspective bring out your creativity? Might you consider asking for support? Know that successful people ask for support and that asking for support is a sign of strength and not weakness. Enjoy the process of discovering your creative way(s) of “managing” your time and experience productive results!

Gloria Tom Wing Staudt is a Success Coach with extensive experiences in private, corporate and non-profit organizations. Her passion is in helping people to live the masterpiece they are – their life lived to the fullest and at peace in all their relationships. Her Masters Degree in Psychology and Certification as a Certified Behavioral and Values Analyst benefits all who work with her. She is also President of the Burnaby Metrotown Rotary club which meets weekly for contribution to local and global communities. Collaborate with her as your executive coach enhance your executive leadership or for your team’s success. You can reach her by email at: gloria@peaksuccesscoaching.com or by phone at 604 523 6268. http://www.peaksuccesscoaching.com

Copyright 2007. Please feel free to share this article with others in its entirety or contact her for permission to use her articles in your publication.
——–

Truth in the workplace –coaching solution
by Gloria Tom Wing Staudt
“The true voyage of discovery lies not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes.” Marcel Proust
Are you working in an environment that is conducive to speaking truthfully and respectfully? Are you prepared to assert yourself clearly and respectfully? What might you discover by shifting your perspective?
Reasons for people not being authentic in their communication at work may include one or more of the following:
• Your environment does not feel safe to be authentic
• You learned to behave one way at work and another outside of work
• Your cultural customs have different meanings to what you communicate and what you don’t
• You feel others are judging you and that judgment may impact your performance or chances of bonuses
• You feel you must appear to have all the answers to be credible and so afraid to make any mistakes
Believing that being authentic will create win-win-win results is a perspective you can choose to take. Understanding people’s style of behavior is a skill that can be developed if it is not intuitive or natural for you. While it definitely helps if the leadership intentionally wants, rewards and models truth in communications, an individual can personally choose to do so regardless of what others choose.
The tips for success in being authentic include practicing the following:
• See that everyone has something of value to share or contribute
• Be personable but do not take things personally
• Ask questions for clarity before just making assumptions
• Notice any situational triggers for you and choose to not react but to look for the information or lessons to learn
• Celebrate others success
• Ask clearly and respectfully for what you need or want without attachment to how the other chooses to accomplish your request
• Take pride in what you do and in what others do
• Be open to feedback looking at every challenge as opportunities for improvement or the gift of clarity of your intentions

As a leader taking a coach approach, you will make a significant difference in role modeling and inspiring respect for each member of your business or organization. Coaching your team members that regardless of their role, knowing that each one of them have something special to contribute, being truthful to themselves and others will lead to less stress and more positive results.

Donna had successfully transitioned into her business which she feels passionate about. Her initial conversations with her coach focused her attention on her former toxic workplace and realizes how she was not honoring who she was in that environment and how authentic she now is with her colleagues and customers. She had decided to invest in her own development with a coach and placed attention on what she truly wanted in her business and in her life. The results have been and continue to be amazing as she affirms her decisions to live and work more authentically. This decision resulted in her being truthful first to herself and then authentically communicating with others with rewards for doing so. Less stress and more ease are worth the courage it takes to be truthful and authentic.

Let‘s explore how our formula Connect + Assess + Take Action= Experience Successful Results will apply to truth in the workplace. Connect with your desire to be more authentic wherever you are. Assess what you want to change and what skills you want to develop. Identify what support you want to ensure your success. Decide to explore investing in your own success or life coach. Take Action immediately on the steps you have identified.
Being authentic is more fun, once you experience the truth of whom you are.

Gloria Tom Wing Staudt is a Success Coach with extensive experiences in private, corporate and non-profit organizations. Her passion is in helping people to live the masterpiece they are – their life lived to the fullest and at peace in all their relationships. Her Masters Degree in Psychology and Certification as a Certified Behavioral and Values Analyst benefits all who work with her. She is also President of the Burnaby Metrotown Rotary club which meets weekly for contribution to local and global communities. Collaborate with her as your executive coach enhance your executive leadership or for your team’s success. You can reach her by email at: gloria@peaksuccesscoaching.com or by phone at 604 523 6268. http://www.peaksuccesscoaching.com

Copyright 2007. Please feel free to share this article with others in its entirety or contact her for permission to use her articles in your publication.
——–

The FEAR Factor -coaching solution
by Gloria Tom Wing Staudt
FEAR can limit and restrict our opportunities. This fear looks different for each of us. Here we are not referring to the warning signal for our safety, but the fear that stops us from taking action on what is important; often it is “paralyzing”. An acronym for this F.E.A.R. is False Expectation Appearing Real. Statistics have shown that our anticipation of a future result is often worse and unlike the result itself.

As small business owners, your emotional “ups and downs” may be rooted in your fears. Fears can be manifested as:
• fear of hurting feelings or what people may think /say about you, causes you to not speak the truth;
• fear of feeling guilty about not calling sooner/ fear that the person will say no, causes you to not make that important phone call;
• fear of feeling uncomfortable meeting new people , causes you to not go to a function ;
• fear of losing the client/customer/personal/professional relationship(s) causes you to not share your idea(s) ;
• fear caused by focusing on the problems/challenges versus the opportunities causes you to lose sight of your vision of what’s truly important ;
•
A successful business owner learns to be aware of feelings, acknowledges them, makes a choice in the moment and takes action with integrity and trust. You learn to minimize the limiting beliefs about yourself and realize that “win-win-wins” are possible.

For any given situation when you feel stuck, call upon your trusted friend, mentor or coach and consider our formula: Connect + Assess + Take Action= Experience Successful Results
Connect with what is really important and determine what you truly want to accomplish. Having that clarity you are ready to Assess the situation. What objective facts do you have? What intuition/feelings or hunches are you aware of? What are your choices and consequences of each? Which choice will benefit all key stakeholders? Which choice would you make if you knew you would not fail? Which choice is at integrity with you and your business? Now it’s time to “Feel the Fear and do it anyway” Are you open to investing in a coach who listens powerfully for who you are and what you want as an amazing support person on your success team? Take Action immediately. This may be to stop and evaluate if you are feeling balanced with all areas of your life or to schedule some fun activity to lighten your spirit and allow your creativity to surface or to strategize on the shifts in perspectives that will help you to make those phone calls or to proceed towards another important task.
Stay focused on what is important, giving it your best and trusting in what will result. Your personal best is beyond your fears.

Gloria Tom Wing Staudt is a Success Coach with extensive experiences in private, corporate and non-profit organizations. Her passion is in helping people to live the masterpiece they are – their life lived to the fullest and at peace in all their relationships. Her Masters Degree in Psychology and Certification as a Certified Behavioral and Values Analyst benefits all who work with her. She is also President of the Burnaby Metrotown Rotary club which meets weekly for contribution to local and global communities. Collaborate with her as your executive coach enhance your executive leadership or for your team’s success. You can reach her by email at: gloria@peaksuccesscoaching.com or by phone at 604 523 6268. http://www.peaksuccesscoaching.com

Copyright 2007. Please feel free to share this article with others in its entirety or contact her for permission to use her articles in your publication.

——
Diane Lange Chapman
· Reply

Friday, July 13, 2007 at 8:55 PM

Executive Coaching
and Leadership
by Diane Lange Chapman
Proclivity LLC

Almost every executive coaching issue can be drilled down to one fundamental basic; leadership. Every executive must struggle at one time or another with the issue of leadership.
Many executives rise to their positions of power because of commanding leadership skills, but all too often many leaders climb the rungs of the corporate ladder because of who they know, political favors or technical expertise. Unfortunately, these qualifications do not adequately prepare many executives for the daily challenges of leadership. Contrary to common belief, leadership is not an innate skill once one assumes an executive position. Neither is true leadership solely the power to boss or direct others. However, most people believe that those who boss and direct others are leaders by virtue of their position. So then, are executives leaders? Perhaps.
Some have said, “I can’t tell you what leadership is but I definitely know it when I see it.” What then is it that people see in leaders that is so difficult to define or describe? Is it charisma, character, strength, or decision making abilities? Yes, all of these are important characteristics of effective executive leaders, but the defining attributes that best encompass all of the above plus those hard-to-put-your finger on qualities is the ability to influence and inspire others. It’s that simple and it’s that difficult.
Webster’s says influence is “the act or power of producing an effect without apparent exertion of force or direct exercise of command.” It follows then that if influence is the defining characteristic of a leader and influence doesn’t require force or coercion, two important conclusions can be made;
1.) Influence is not dependent on position, and
2.) Anyone and everyone can be a leader.
Therefore true leadership is not appointed or inherited in an executive position; leadership is earned by learning how to inspire and influence others.
How then can the executive coach help the client develop leadership skills during the coaching sessions? What skills, qualities and insights must the executive coach help the client discover and attain so the executive can influence others and become a truly inspiring leader?
The first step the executive coach must take is to discover the fundamental base of values or beliefs that guide the client’s actions, as they form the foundation from which the executive builds his/her actions, relationships and future with subordinates, co-workers, and superiors. The values and beliefs are as integral to the executive as a seed is to a plant. The seed is where the DNA is stored and determines what the plant will be in the future and so too, the values and beliefs of the executive determine the future of the executive.
The task of the executive coach is to discover, examine, review and explore the values of the executive in order to fully determine, understand and anticipate future actions the executive will take. Important questions the executive coach can ask the client include;
What values are important to you in your relationships with others? How do you want to be treated? How do you treat others? How do you want to be remembered? What are your core values that you will not break or bend, that define who you are?
The relationships that the executive builds are what determine his/her ability to influence, inspire and lead. And in building relationships the client’s sphere of influence is unlimited, as one can influence and inspire everyone.
Once the executive coach has worked with the executive on his/her values and beliefs, the issues of both management and leadership become easier to navigate because a clear direction has been established. Issues of relationships become clearer, direction for individuals, departments and the organization becomes more apparent. No matter what the issue, though the resolution may not be easy, it will be simpler to sort through if the executive coach began the coaching relationship with a foundation of values and beliefs.

© Diane Lange Chapman, Proclivity LLC 2007
Diana Collis
· Reply

Friday, July 13, 2007 at 7:50 AM

The empowering role of a life coach
By Diana McMahon-Collis

A few years ago I started to realise that I wanted to become a life coach. What would make someone, with an already successful people-support practice in another area, suddenly take the decision to go in such a new direction? Well, I recognised something in life coaching that I had come across in a variety of other settings that seemed to me to be highly positive. That something was a sense of empowerment. Or, to put it more exactly, a sense of empowering other people.

For many years I have worked in providing a supportive service to other with a focus on empowerment, not as a life coach but as what is commonly termed a “psychic” reader. In other words I have offered astrology consultations and read tarot cards, in order to help people find their way along their path in life. This is a rewarding job, but one that comes with mixed expectations and, much of the time, an assumption that the reader is the person who has the answers in life.

What I recognised in the role of the life coach was something different – a clear assumption that, in fact, it is the client who has the answers in life. This was actually not new to me as a concept, because it is something that I have always believed in any case! However, it is a message that is difficult to convey through offering psychic readings, even though components of the work process are in some ways similar to what goes on with the life coach. What I like about the facility to work as a life coach is that I am not dissuaded from asking questions; this is something that is sometimes frowned upon in the world of card and chart reading; there is an assumption that the psychic “sees” all.

Although I do, indeed, see a great many things when involved in a consultation of this nature, at the end of the day only the client can decide whether my vision matches theirs or is, indeed, right for them. Having been on the receiving end of a number of psychic readings myself, I am aware of how much the reader can impress upon me. In the situation of being coached by a life coach it is quite a different matter. I am aware in that situation of how well another life coach – who is good at his or her job – is able to follow my thinking and match and support my direction. In this I am not so much being guided by the life coach, as being supported in understanding more about my own vision. I find this extremely appealing!

Because I know that having my own vision supported by a life coach gives me a feeling of confidence and empowerment, to break through blocks and go out and do what I want to do in life, I know this is also something that, as a life coach, I can offer to others. It makes me feel tremendously happy to see other people growing, feeling confident and doing things they only usually dream about doing. So, rather than impress upon my clients what “the spirits” might be telling me about them, I am happy to work with them as a life coach, in order to see what their spirit wants to tell me! I am still happy to lend support to my existing clients who wish to seek my guidance in the traditional role as a psychic reader. However, I suspect that the more I offer the skills that are specific to life coach training, the more I will veer towards the life coach role in providing the support that people need. Seeing the future is a fascinating talent, but helping people, as a life coach, to create their own future is even more exciting!

Diana Collis offers coaching and mentoring services, trains people in the art of astrology and offers clarity, insight and a stronger spiritual connection through personal readings using tarot, astrology and angel cards. Empowering others to do what they really want to do is her passion.

http://www.directdestiny.com
coach@directdestiny.com

copyright Diana Collis July 2007
Diana Collis
· Reply

Friday, July 13, 2007 at 7:47 AM

The empowering role of a life coach
By Diana McMahon-Collis

A few years ago I started to realise that I wanted to become a life coach. What would make someone, with an already successful people-support practice in another area, suddenly take the decision to go in such a new direction? Well, I recognised something in life coaching that I had come across in a variety of other settings that seemed to me to be highly positive. That something was a sense of empowerment. Or, to put it more exactly, a sense of empowering other people.

For many years I have worked in providing a supportive service to other with a focus on empowerment, not as a life coach but as what is commonly termed a “psychic” reader. In other words I have offered astrology consultations and read tarot cards, in order to help people find their way along their path in life. This is a rewarding job, but one that comes with mixed expectations and, much of the time, an assumption that the reader is the person who has the answers in life.

What I recognised in the role of the life coach was something different – a clear assumption that, in fact, it is the client who has the answers in life. This was actually not new to me as a concept, because it is something that I have always believed in any case! However, it is a message that is difficult to convey through offering psychic readings, even though components of the work process are in some ways similar to what goes on with the life coach. What I like about the facility to work as a life coach is that I am not dissuaded from asking questions; this is something that is sometimes frowned upon in the world of card and chart reading; there is an assumption that the psychic “sees” all.

Although I do, indeed, see a great many things when involved in a consultation of this nature, at the end of the day only the client can decide whether my vision matches theirs or is, indeed, right for them. Having been on the receiving end of a number of psychic readings myself, I am aware of how much the reader can impress upon me. In the situation of being coached by a life coach it is quite a different matter. I am aware in that situation of how well another life coach – who is good at his or her job – is able to follow my thinking and match and support my direction. In this I am not so much being guided by the life coach, as being supported in understanding more about my own vision. I find this extremely appealing!

Because I know that having my own vision supported by a life coach gives me a feeling of confidence and empowerment, to break through blocks and go out and do what I want to do in life, I know this is also something that, as a life coach, I can offer to others. It makes me feel tremendously happy to see other people growing, feeling confident and doing things they only usually dream about doing. So, rather than impress upon my clients what “the spirits” might be telling me about them, I am happy to work with them as a life coach, in order to see what their spirit wants to tell me! I am still happy to lend support to my existing clients who wish to seek my guidance in the traditional role as a psychic reader. However, I suspect that the more I offer the skills that are specific to life coach training, the more I will veer towards the life coach role in providing the support that people need. Seeing the future is a fascinating talent, but helping people, as a life coach, to create their own future is even more exciting!

Diana Collis offers coaching and mentoring services, trains people in the art of astrology and offers clarity, insight and a stronger spiritual connection through personal readings using tarot, astrology and angel cards.

http://www.directdestiny.com
coach@directdestiny.com

copyright Diana Collis July 2007
Daphna Horowitz
· Reply

Friday, July 13, 2007 at 2:47 AM

What have feelings got to do with it?
Written by Daphna Horowitz

I recently attended a coaching conference where one of the speakers was certainly the highlight for most of us attending.

He was the last speaker of the second day and we were all exhausted at that stage. We had been to many talks and were looking forward to getting the last talk over with and going for cocktails at the hotel lounge.

This speaker took us all by surprise. He made us laugh, his message was fantastic and he created an incredible energy in the room. At the end of his talk, there was an entirely different buzz amongst the delegates and we all just wanted him to carry on speaking.

A couple of months later, I was talking to a group about this speaker, saying how brilliant he was and what an amazing talk he gave. Upon reflection, I realised that I didn’t actually remember many of the details of the talk. What remained with me most were the feelings that I had experienced during the talk of being energised and enjoying a wonderful experience.

I was struck by the fact that it is the feelings that really remained with me rather than the actual subject matter. I had taken copious notes and reviewed them later but I am amazed at the fact that the combination of a good talk and good feelings is what made the whole experience stick.

I can relate this experience to my experience with coaching clients.

In the process of identifying limiting behaviour patterns in order to create new empowering behaviour patterns, it is essential to analyse the impact of the old behaviour on the client’s life. We then decide on the new behaviour that we want to create and identify the positive impact that this will have on the client’s life. When looking at the impact, it is important to assess the impact in all areas of the client’s life including the emotional impact. If the client can get in touch with the great feelings that the new behaviour pattern will create and not just with the positive “physical” impact on their life, the desired outcome will be smoother and quicker to achieve.

When a person gets in touch with the positive feelings associated with any event, it is as though he is experiencing this event again. It has been shown that when using visualisation techniques, the brain can’t differentiate between the events being real or just being visualised. If you then add the feelings associated with the event to the visualisation, you have created a powerful transition phase that is bound to happen in reality.

W. Clement Stone said,
“Whatever the mind of man can conceive and believe, it can achieve.”

I say,
“If you can imagine it, believe it and feel it, nothing will stand in your way to achieving it”

Daphna Horowitz May 2007
Certified Personal & Executive Coach, BSc(Hons) FIA
Johannesburg, South Africa
+2782 331 1311
horowitz@absamail.co.za
http://www.inner-view.org/Daphna
trulyrich
· Reply

Friday, July 13, 2007 at 12:54 AM

Coaching by Playing Cards…

If you are reading this, chances are that your life feels a little out of balance, or maybe you don’t seem to have any meaning in your life right now, or maybe you just don’t seem to have the fun you used to…

That was me, too. Back in November 2005, I had just lost my job, my relationship had ended and all my friends seemed stuck on the same path they had been on 20 years before.

So I decided to see losing my job as an inspiration and (against ALL advice) I decided to change my career and my life by spending a year traveling the world to find my own unique purpose…

Before I left, I went to an NLP seminar where I happened to meet Tim Kenning, who was introducing his new life coaching cards. I was excited by these cards as I was looking for a way to coach myself as I traveled. So I purchased a pack.

Then a funny thing seemed to happen… Wherever I sat down to play with the cards and coach myself, people nearby would ask “what are they?” and “can I have a go?”

By this time I had traveled to Thailand and I was living for a while at a retreat center on a beautiful island called Koh Phangan.

The fact that I had left behind everything I used to hold dear and was taking time to follow a dream seemed to inspire the people I met. And before long I discovered that I was offering life coaching to people from all over the world.

With Tim’s cards I really didn’t have to do much more than to trust in the process, to trust in the cards (they really do have all the questions you need to ask – and they are all based on NLP principles), and to trust in myself to be open to whatever came up for people.

The cards are a really wonderful support to a first time coach. I have been using them for over eighteen months and I now have my first paying clients.

I have used the cards with people from all over the globe – from Israel to Canada, Sweden to Switzerland to Australia, Britain to America. The cards are based on the metaphor of life as a journey, which truly does work with people from every country.

I now often use the cards as part of a free trial coaching session I offer to people and they love it! People seem to love games, they definitely love the ‘life is a journey’ metaphor and they usually love a chance to reflect on their own life, in a fun way, too.

As I coached myself using the cards, I found that each time I made a little map of my own journey and asked myself Tim’s key question, “if this was happening in real life, what would you do?” I tapped in to my deepest desires and moved away from a world where I had been trapped by my own fears.

In the past eighteen months, I have lived in Thailand, India, and the US. I have trained as a yoga teacher in Thailand and as a meditation teacher in the Himalayas and as a relationship coach in San Francisco. I have travelled through Africa on an overland truck and on rickety buses through South East Asia. Oh, and I met a wonderful woman who I got engaged to after just 10 days! (We are about to celebrate our first year together).

I am now about to create a new life with her in San Francisco, where I will be studying a Masters Degree in Transpersonal Psychology and completing my life coach training.

Can I guarantee that all this will be available to you if you purchase Tim’s cards? Hey, that’s up to you! But if you are looking for an incredible tool that will support you in your coaching, then I’m pretty sure you have found it.

Tim has offered great support and inspiriation, too, as I emailed him along my journey.

Rich Litvin (richlitvin@speedymail.org)

Check out Tim’s cards at http://www.lifewayscoaching.co.uk
Joan
· Reply

Thursday, July 12, 2007 at 4:13 PM

THE PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS by Joan Roth

People want to be happy and live prosperous lives. Yet the means to achieving that end often can result in anything but balance. The missing link seems to be a clear understanding of what happiness and prosperity really mean to the individual. Sure, we say the words and have a vague idea of the definition, but do we truly have an inner awareness of what we want and what is important?

One common approach is to buy stuff in an effort to bring happiness and confirm our success. In reality, the stuff usually is a temporary gap-filler for other deeper-rooted issues that exist in our lives. The stuff often treats some of the symptoms but does not help us get to the root cause of our challenges. Eventually, the added clutter contributes to more strife than satisfaction.

Why, then, is it so difficult for people to make change? To create new environments? To get on the path to finding happiness? Maybe they have yet to identify a need or way to do so. The day-to-day world certainly can provide major distractions! A coach can be a wonderful resource to assist in getting someone back on track.

I can speak from first hand experience that an initial step is overcoming the fear of what change and the unknown will bring. Beyond fear can be a basic lack of awareness. I was unhappy at my job but felt stuck in a rut and could not get out or enjoy a quality of life with balance and happiness. My focus was on getting the better position, greater pay, more responsibility. Clearly, though, I was not happy!

Golf is my personal outlet and escape. Yet I was frustrated by an inability to make more significant improvements in my game. Small, incremental changes were occurring, but I wanted to see major progress. I met a wonderful golf instructor several years ago and I like to think of her as a coach – for golf and life – as she teaches lessons that go far beyond the golf course.

Kathy would tell me that my expectations were not realistic as I worked 60 hour weeks and could only practice and play on the weekends. She continued to encourage me and celebrate any successes I made.

More importantly, she helped me identify why I played the game and what benefit it served for me. I learned to play for the true joy of the game. Frustration, disappointment and anger would never result in positive changes for me and would consistently deliver more negativity. While the Laws of Attraction would say “Of course!”, I could not see the forest through the trees at the time.

I finally took Kathy’s advice to heart and WOW! Within a year’s time, my handicap dropped by 9 strokes and I achieved several goals that I had been pursuing. Even better, I realized that my negative thinking was preventing me from making much needed changes in my personal and professional life. As the negativity cleared, I began to see what I really wanted and what was important.

So beyond helping me to identify what was holding me back in golf, she also taught me to become aware; aware of what was working and what wasn’t working. Awareness is a beautiful thing as it allows us the opportunity to self-correct and learn- in golf and in life!
So back to the pursuit of happiness.

Today I am fortunate to work with small business owners who are passionate and excited about their dreams while, at the same time, a bit tentative about their futures. We explore marketing opportunities and practical approaches to build their businesses without losing sight of providing them with time to enjoy life! I find that helping people identify what is truly important to them and learning how to gain self-awareness is incredibly valuable and can alleviate some of the fear of the unknown. The greatest challenge is making the connection so the light bulb can shine brightly. Once the path is cleared and the audience is receptive to the message, the pursuit of happiness becomes a wonderful journey into the future. Inspiring people and expanding the consciousness of individuals is one of the greatest gifts a coach can offer.

joan.roth@gmail.com
Marketing Mentor AZ
Liz Shewan
· Reply

Thursday, July 12, 2007 at 2:52 PM

Life Coaching is the way forward. If you truly want to get to the bottom of how you can become more successful than you already are, get in touch with a Life Coach straight away. Talk to them honestly, and decide which one you like. It is important when making this decision to make sure that you are choosing a coach who will not let anything slip by through the net. Details given the ‘slip’ will only prolong what it is that you have got in touch with a Life Coach for in the first place. You have, after all, decided to go down this road because you actually DESIRE to achieve your dreams, right?

Choosing a coach, whether it be business coaching or personal coaching, will ultimately touch on every area of your life – for the better. There are many coaches who have studied for a Life Coach accreditation and use the models used by Anthony Robbins, Wayne Dyer, Dr Phil and Steven Covey and David Wood – all renown for instigating positive change within their lives, and guiding others to do the same. These models allow you to travel through your life, investigating what works for you and what doesn’t, and then working out how best for you to go about your daily decisions and habits so that you actually achieve what it is you want. This can be from improving your career prospects to uplifting your business and personal relationships. Sometimes you learn that you are perfectly happy how you respond in certain situations, and in others you learn how you really could do with changing your perspective on things so that you no longer react in certain situations that are not beneficial to you and replace these behaviours with a response that is ecological to you and others around you.

So, we get one chance at this life – are you ready now to make the most of it?

If so, you are ready to take now to call a Life Coach. Take the plunge. We look forward to speaking with you and showing you just how easy it is to be happy and balanced in every area of our lives.

It’s easy. You have nothing to loose. Pick the phone up now, and follow your dream. You will pat yourself on the back for ever, and wonder what took you so long….

© Liz Shewan July 2007.

Liz Shewan
Creativity Life Coach
t. +00 44 (0)7803 208335
w. lifecoachinglizshewan.com
Anonymous
· Reply

Thursday, July 12, 2007 at 11:43 AM

Life Challenge Workshops

As a life coach I was looking for some interesting ways to capture people’s attention and give them a taster in life coaching. I found that many people had perhaps heard about life coaching but didn’t really know much about it and what it entailed, or they thought it was only something that was done in the corporate world or they thought it was to do with sports improvement. I hit upon the idea of the Life Challenge Workshop. Life Challenge workshops were devised as half day workshops for people who want to make changes in their lives but are not sure how to go about it. They may want to return to work, change jobs, lose weight, find direction in their lives or just challenge themselves to go further. The workshops enable people to fulfil their potential.

Each session begins with motivational music and motivational sayings. I aim to make the workshops as interactive as possible – we make dream boards, complete the wheel of life and look at a variety of NLP techniques to help raise self esteem and confidence such as visualisation, swish patterns and pools of excellence. The workshops are intended to be fun and to give people the tools with which to start on their life changing journey.

If clients feel they need more personal and in depth coaching then I can offer additional one-to-one coaching. Often, once they have experienced the feeling of success that comes from achieving their goals, then they return for more and with great enthusiasm. The workshops are a good way for people to find out about life coaching without having to make a big financial commitment towards something they are unsure about.

The feedback has been incredibly positive ….

 ‘It has changed my life and got me moving both physically and mentally.’ – Susan

 ‘I feel so much more positive and energised about my life .’ – Chris

 ‘It has changed my life and enabled me to do things I didn’t think were possible’. – Abi

And isn’t it funny how things work out? I had been to see someone about distributing my leaflets and wandered into a shop selling aromatherapy goods. I got talking to the owner and told her what I was doing. She then offered me the use of one of her rooms to do my workshops. This was at a much better rate than I had previously paid and she would advertise for me as well.

A dream is just a dream. A goal is a dream with a plan and a deadline.” (Harvey Mackay, thanks Brad Hanson)

My goal is to set up these workshops around the country so that more people can experience the joy of achieving their dreams at a reasonable cost

Jan Grover
jan@p4living.co.uk
http://www.p4living.co.uk
07857646909
Ruth K Schroeder
· Reply

Wednesday, July 11, 2007 at 10:23 PM

Don’t Just Cope – HOPE!
Creating the Future You Want for You and Your Child with Autism
By Ruth K. Schroeder
Originally published in Autism Asperger’s Digest Magazine Nov-Dec 2006 (author owns publishing rights)

(Coah Ruth K. Schroeder specializes in coaching families impacted by autism.)

The paper found under the microwave confirmed the growing pit in my stomach. “Jordan’s words” emblazoned the top of the page, with columns hastily scrawled by a proud first-time mom. This was just two months ago. Icy-fingered anxiety climbed up my spine. No disputing it: My two-year-old son was losing his language. Now, mostly gone, words replaced by gibberish. He’s regressing, being pulled into a world of his own and I feel powerless to stop him.

Fast forward; Jordan is ten and I decided on graduate school. Masters in Counseling with a focus on families with special needs kids. The education was great. Loved the classes: fascinating, interesting, high-speed personal growth. But there were gaps – gaps between words in books and lives lived out in real life. Many families with autism at their house are not pathological. Stressed? Yes. Overwhelmed? Definitely sometimes. Grieving? In seasons. But pathological? Not many.

Most families, caregivers and involved professionals need a space to process, to choose focus and to breathe. But, how many find…that time…that kind of help?

June, three years later. The chillingly familiar icy fingers clamber up my spine yet again. It’s summer, school is out, and by August, I know I’ll be spent, poured out, on the dregs emotionally, physically, and spiritually. Always. I’m sitting in my first coaching class. “Sure I’ll volunteer to be coached! I’m stuck. How do I ‘do’ this summer and not end up like a dishrag?”

The coaching itself was, well…terrible. Five brand-spanking new coaches asking me irrelevant questions. How many times did I have to say, “This is not helpful!”? Friends in the room familiar with my summers sat eyes-down in silence—as stuck as I was. Mercifully, the 10 minutes ended. Leaning over the ladies’ room sink I look at myself in the mirror: What just happened?

But you know. Something shifted. Internally.

A fresh camera angle emerged. As a result of the “unhelpful” coaching session, I chose to do something different. Decreasing my out-of-home work hours for the summer (and taking the financial hit), out of the ashes rose Cope to Hope. By August, I had established my own coaching practice specifically serving parents with special needs kids, “Helping special needs families move from just coping to hoping.”

And the biggest lesson learned? Trust the process.

Coaching really works! I’d have given my eye-teeth for this twelve years ago!

What is Coaching?
Coaching is about relationship.

Coaching is kneeling with a mom at the bathtub as she talks about her daughter Jenna’s uncanny ability to scrub the tub. What does this tell you about your daughter? How can you globalize the skill? In 15 years, how can Jenna-the-adult benefit from utilizing this skill? The result was the girl with Asperger’s becoming genuinely helpful around the house.

Coaching is a mom addressing her raging exhaustion. What is rest for you? How will you take care of yourself today?

• What might it be like to have someone hold a space for you to sort, to choose and to decide?
• What if that person invited you to view different perspectives on the stuck places in your life?
• What if that person knew your strengths and cheered you on to use them?
• What if that person knew your values and kept you true to them?
• What if that person knew your hopes and dreams and came alongside to help you achieve them?

That person just might be a coach.

A “Coach for Living” does just that—coaches you in areas of your life that you choose.

A coach believes you are the expert in your life, family and work. You may be just beginning the journey or you may have attended countless seminars, and read book after book. You’re reading the Autism Asperger’s Digest Magazine this very minute! It is chock-full of ideas.

You know your child and yourself better than anyone. You’re the one who knows how best to utilize your resources.

Coaching focuses on your strengths and your unique ability to live the life you have been given.

Coaching can clarify your goals, build confidence and bring learning. The result is intentional progress. Yep, intentional growth. (How many times have I heard my own coach say, “Do it on purpose”?) So much of life as a mom of a child with autism feels random and pressured. You mean I can actually choose areas I want to grow in rather than just react?

Parenting a child on the autism spectrum can be like wading into a cold, dark, fast-flowing river on a foggy night. Swimming across is required and yet, seemingly impossible. Occasional glimpses of lights on a distant shore bring hope that others have survived the crossing. You can have great meaning, purpose and fulfillment while engaging in the toughest challenge of your life. (Just try to convince me otherwise!)

I really can be an agent for change in my own life. Who knew?

How does Coaching Work?
The Person Being Coached (PBC) sets the agenda and tells the story. The coach makes sure the agenda doesn’t get lost and asks questions to get to the meaning behind the story. The coach believes that the PBC is capable, resourceful, and has the answer or can find it. But…the coach doesn’t always tell you what you want to hear. Nope, a coach offers reality. A coach tells the truth.

The coach holds a space for you to sort through thoughts by asking questions like:
• What challenges are you facing?
• What solutions are needed?
• An ideal outcome would be clarity about what?
• What’s most important for you today?

Coaching is about forward movement. The process focuses on where you are and where you want to be—as a parent, as a caregiver, as a professional, as a person.

Coaching most often takes place over the phone, usually in 30-60 minute conversations two to four times a month. Sometimes coaching takes place in person, or in a particular location (your home for example).

A home coaching consultation focuses on whatever you want to spotlight. Sitting at her own kitchen table, a mom expressed her frustration with mealtime. “He gets up! He runs around! He only eats lentils!” What’s most important for you in this room? What solutions are needed? What have you tried that has worked before? What else?

Where do I Find a Coach?
Many sites have find-a-coach services: the International Coach Federation http://www.coachfederation.org, The Coaches Training Institute http://www.thecoaches.com, and Coach U http://www.coachinc.com. I highly recommend interviewing at least two or three coaches before contracting with one. Some people click and some people don’t. Because coaching is about relationship, chemistry is important. With phone coaching, geographical location is a non-issue. I’m in the Pacific Northwest and have coached people in places like Alabama, Illinois, even Europe.

What’s in your Autism/Asperger’s “Closet”?
There’s the “box” of daily-necessities front and center, stuffed with picture schedules, ABA, and social stories. The gluten-free favorites. The weighted blanket. Fidget toys. Favorite books and videos. Yep, the “can’t live without” items. Take the family jewels, but whatever you do, don’t steal the koosh balls! One object misplaced and the inevitable meltdown looms.

How about in the back of the “closet”? Covered with dust-bunnies, the brown cardboard box with the phrase “Tried-it”, graffiti-ed in black marker. How much money did we sink into that one? Thankfully, other people have found success with each item, but no deal at our house. (The frozen vial in my freezer—literally—reminds me of the particularly bumpy Secretin journey.)

Then there’s the “file cabinet” stuffed full of “What ifs?” So much information, so many ideas. Great potential and promise. I can’t do them all (although on my strongest days, sometimes I tell myself I can, or, even worse, I tell myself that I should do them all). How to choose?

Don’t forget the frequently overlooked “container” brimming with personal strengths—yours and your child’s. You may be organized, nurturing, fun loving, assertive, dependable, harmonious, intuitive, energetic, quiet, analytical, or imaginative. Any of these qualities or combination thereof makes you uniquely gifted and able to manage your child’s care.

Whatever your personality, whatever your skill-set, YOU are one of your child’s greatest assets.

In the autism “closet”, we can’t ignore the empty box of resources yet to be found. Puzzlements unsolved. Stuck spots. Unanswered conundrums.

And up on the top shelf, tucked over on the right, pushed back behind the seminar notebooks, wrapped in a velvet bag is the hand-written journal of your soul. Often avoided, the pages spill out phrases like This isn’t the life I dreamed of… When the doctor said, “It’s a boy,” I never thought… I got a raw deal… Does my life have meaning?… Purpose?…What will happen to her after I’m gone?… Loss, fears, sighs too deep for human interpretation.

Coachable topics all.

Pick a coaching issue. Yes, I mean right now. Get out a piece of paper.
What do you want to be coached about? How about a dream, a challenge, a stuck place or a change?

What about this goal is so important to you? (There must have been a reason you chose it.)

Imagine your life nine months from now. It’s hot August. The wool sweaters have been long stored away and sandals are piled at your front door.

Who do you want to be?
What’s different in your life?
What’s happening around you?

Peruse your “box” of personal strengths: If it has ever been true of you, circle it:
Organized
Structured
Nurturing
Fun-loving
Assertive
An advocate
Direct
Strong
Honest
Dependable
Easygoing
Agreeable
Comfortable
Harmonious
Sensitive
Intuitive
Warm-hearted
Emotional
A team player
A team builder
Active
Successful
A self-starter
Quiet
Analytical
Busy-brained
Imaginative
Offbeat
Safe
Astute
Energetic
Intense
Connected
Deep

What strengths will you use to accomplish your goal? (You have many more than you realize.)
Where are you kidding yourself?
Where are you selling yourself short?
What’s right in front of you?

This is your life! You’ve been given a really tough challenge. You can have great meaning and purpose—and dare I say, enjoyment—while engaging in the toughest thing you’ll ever do.

Stop, re-read the previous paragraph. Savor it. Let the truth sink into your soul.

• So how will you take on this challenge?
• How do you choose which therapy to go with?
• Which school setting is best for your child?
• How do you build a treatment team for the long-term benefit of your child?
• How do you be your own caregiver?

The answer lies within you (or in your “closet”). Maybe what you need is someone to hold a space for you to sort and to choose.

You are the expert in your life and work. ‘Just coping’ is an exhausting, draining, deadening way to live. ‘Hoping’ is energizing, filling and life-giving.”

And, by the way, you’ve just been coached.

BIO
Ruth K. Schroeder, M.A. is a Coach-for-Living, popular conference speaker and presenter, and author of many articles related to the challenges and opportunities for parents of special needs children. In her coaching practice, Cope to Hope (www.copetohope.com), Ruth eagerly makes herself available to families impacted by autism. She lives a meaningful, purposeful life in Gresham, Oregon with husband Matt, and two terrific kids, Jordan (son, age 15 with severe autism) and Gracey (11—a lovely, creative seventhgrader). Ruth can be contacted via email, Ruth@copetohope.com or by calling 503.661.1196.
dynamic life coaching
· Reply

Wednesday, July 11, 2007 at 10:00 PM

WHY WORK WITH A LIFE COACH?

We are living in a time of numerous and vast changes, would you agree? An increasingly rapid pace, busy, busy, busy, aspiring to be personally and professionally more effective, whilst at the same time juggling our personal and work lives. Our goals are evolving, for some they are on hold awaiting more time, more money, more skills, more something….whilst others have an idea of what they want to achieve, yet drift along, day after day, hoping that one day the dream will become a reality , kind of like a boat without a rudder. There are new skills and more awareness required of us, the world is changing and sometimes it feels like we are just keeping above water, losing sight of our dreams or worse still, living goals and purposes that are not our own.
If you could picture a duck for a moment, gliding across the rippled waters of a lake, seemingly with little effort, yeah it’s doing okay, at a surface level. Now think about what the duck is doing beyond what we can see, its using loads of energy kicking away, stopping, starting, taking a breather, kicking away again – a stark contrast to its seemingly effortless external effort don’t you think? Has anyone you know ever experienced life as the duck? Perhaps there is a plan to one day evolve into a swan – pure, congruent, at peace – able to glide effortlessly and easily ahead – congruent above and below the surface.
Having strategies, and the education to create increased effectiveness, creativity and productivity to reach those goal ahead, can be achieved quicker and greater with a partner – one who has the insights and commitment to your personal and professional development, one who will provide focused support and guidance as you make changes, one who challenges you, is dedicated to your development, enhances your transition to where you want to go – A Life Coach. A coaching partnership creates an intense focus and momentum that helps you create your life exactly as you intend it, to achieve your own definition of success and fulfillment, to develop from the duck to the swan.
People who achieve excellence have done so by learning how to tap into the most resourceful part of their brain adopting a heightened sense of self awareness. They have learned to take total responsibility for their thoughts, actions and results they are getting. This includes choosing what to focus on, asking more empowering questions, creating beliefs that conspire to their successes. Mastering this, they enjoy a deeper level of fulfillment which is built on their strengths, increased confidence, stronger personal and business relationships and more effective communication at home and at work.
Let’s take this one step further. By taking total responsibility for your reactions, thoughts and actions, do you think it gives you more choices and possibilities for turning things around, for resolving past hurt, and looking at new possibilities? Taking it to the next level, how about drawing a positive message from what seems a negative result? You can do this when you have the belief that there is no concept of failure, only feedback, an opportunity to learn more about yourself, your capabilities and opportunities, what you need to do differently to create a different result next time and being thankful for the gift that is being presented to you.
Do you often take on an error, a mistake on as emotional baggage, you marry it so that it becomes a part of you? Do you also divulge in self talk, the ‘nagger’… oh you got it wrong, you are not good enough! So how about we divorce this self talk altogether and take on a real soul mate, one that says, hey if you do not get the outcome you want, it’s simply feedback, that’s all it is. How would this approach change your outlook and your actions? Have you heard how the light globe came to be? Thomas Edison had 1000 attempts at it, of getting it wrong or perhaps 1000 attempts closer to getting it right, as he put it. Each time, he used the feedback he received to do it differently; he used that information to make finer distinctions about what he needed to do to create the results he wanted, and presto, we have light!
People who achieve personal success develop a heightened sense of self, and learn to take responsibility for their results. When they let go of the excuses they let go of the baggage they had been carrying around, they get to experience a renewed sense of freedom, like a weight lifted, excited about their future, at peace, more loving, appreciative, focused, a new sense of determination.
So lets ponder this for a moment, what if you started right now to ask more empowering questions that could turn any situation around, you accepted feedback and learned from past results, used courage to understand and overcome limitations, created beliefs that served and supported you, focused your energy to what you really want to create, embraced what seemed unfamiliar and had some fun in the process, lived every day congruently with who you are and true to your purpose. Do you think it would improve the quality of life, even by a little? Where would the greatest changes occur? What would you be doing differently? Where would the rewards be? How would it make you feel?
Are your dreams worth putting on hold any longer? Is it time to begin investing in your most valuable asset? Discover how coaching can make the difference you have been waiting for and begin to create your own extraordinary life today. It is possible and you are worth it. One decision can change your life forever. Now is the perfect time to start making every day count.

ANTOINETTE SIFIS
info@dynamiclifecoaching.com.au
http://www.dynamiclifecoaching.com.au
Anonymous
· Reply

Wednesday, July 11, 2007 at 4:51 PM

Why every mom needs a life coach
Barbara Lindahl-Christensen – Connecting your life and your passions
Coaching Soul-utions for life and business
http://www.BijaCoaching.com
© 2007

I think it takes so much courage to come forward and state that you are not a superwoman. Every mom could use some help to balance your life and to reach your dreams/goals. It can be complicated when you work alone to try to diagram your day, and set up limits of your time. Even just getting started with organization can be overwhelming. Life is trying and until you have a clearly designated time for everything, you will never achieve full success in any area. Coaching is a way to help you reprogram your thinking. Learning to have faith that when you listen to your heart you will find happiness, success and balance and do right by yourself and your family is the key to finding success in any coaching program. You have to think different terms. I work with so many women, and it’s so incredible when they learn to be the light in their life. In life you are either the light on your path, or the shadow.

As a Mommy CEO it can be such a struggle to find who you really are. So much of our lives are wrapped into our family and the role we have as mother, wife, homemaker, chef, driver…you know what I mean. It is a never ending role. Add in to that the business woman who is the driving force of the business, the marketing manager, the buyer…. and you can lose the ‘you” that you used to know, or wish you were.

The first thing we do in our coaching program is try to see where it is you really want to go. It’s so easy to get the bus full for the journey once you know where you are going… but if you have just said “Let go somewhere, anywhere…” who would want to take part in that life journey. And why would you want to take those that you love on a journey like that. And yet we do that every day.

It can be the wrong move to just have dreams/goals that you run out and just jump right into.
Especially when we have such passion for our dreams/goals, and we want to provide a life for our loved ones that is full of substance and happiness rather than struggles. Life is made for dreams/goals. Dreams/goals light up our life. It’s up to us to follow our hearts, and follow our dreams/goals and use the life that we have been given to really LIVE. But you need to develop an action plan, a life map that will take you from point ‘A’ to the ‘B’, ‘C’ and ‘D’s. When you create a plan it is like a beacon of light shining like a laser in the night.

Think about the light? In my last book I delved into this subject. So I just want to touch base on how the light you give off works with your coaching process and reaching your dreams/goals.

How does the light beam bounce back, or reflect? Try shining your flashlight on a mirror. Shine it at different angles and see what happens. If you hold the mirror at an angle and shine a flashlight on it, does the light bounce back in your eyes? The definition of reflection is when light bounces off an object. Usually we associate reflection with a smooth, polished surface; however the surface doesn’t have to be smooth. Light reflects off your shirt, therefore others can see that you’re wearing one.

Think about this in terms of your own light force. When you are working hard on your journey, trying very hard to be more light-like and less selfish; the light will bounce from you to those around you. Just as this holds true, we have learned that it doesn’t have to be a smooth, shiny surface for the light to reflect off of you. So when you are full of ego, gossiping with your neighbors, etc… you are still reflecting your light upon those around you.

Try to think of a coaching program in terms of lighting your path, being a shining example of life and love along the way. Faith is not belief. Belief is passive. Faith is active. Be active in the journey; be active in lighting your path. Be active in your dreams/goals. Mom is the foundation of the family life. When you realize how to achieve your dreams/goals by working with a coach you brighten the lives of everyone you love.

Barbara Lindahl-Christensen has been providing life and business coaching throughout the US since 2003. Bija Coaching will help you to bring more clarity to your overall life and help to bring more life to your passions. Bija Coaching provides a FREE consultation. Our coaching sessions can be done via phone, email, in person through the Wasatch Front or via online chat. Please visit Bija Coaching online at http://www.BijaCoaching.com to set up an appointment or to receive your free consultation today.
Meg Heyworth
· Reply

Wednesday, July 11, 2007 at 3:35 PM

Be your own Business Coach
Improve your Public Speaking skills
Learn how to overcome Glossophobia which is the fear of public speaking

1. Effectively express an opinion at work or in a meeting

2. Realise your potential by communicating your ideas in a more skilled and structured way.

3. Succeed is having better communication skills than others in your network

4. Toastmasters International is an International Speakers Organisation that offers a proven way to improve your speaking, listening and leadership skills.

Regular participation is the key to becoming a better speaker and leader. It all happens in a fun and supportive manner when you join a Toastmasters group. There are at least 132 clubs all over the United Kingdom and you will receive a warm welcome at every club you visit.

A personal life coaching aspect is the increased confidence you gain without too much effort as you take on the roles of the meeting officers & participate in the speaking sections. It is bound to help you succeed in whatever path you’ve chosen in life. You will be amazed at your own potential when you deliver great presentations, lead teams and conduct meetings. Added bonuses to your business coaching skills are being able to give and receive constructive feedback and to be a better listener.

One of the most common fears in people especially business people is the fear of public speaking and anyone who cares about giving a good performance is likely to have it to some degree, but this fear can be tamed and the best way of overcoming the fear is by doing it.

Public speaking is such a fundamental fear that overcoming it can have a dramatic effect on how confident we feel in all aspects of life, so life & business coaches are among the most frequent joiners of any club. As they can see that joining a Toastmasters club and practising public speaking skills in a friendly and supportive environment can be fun & often they recommend it as a way forward for their clients.

If you already have public speaking experience and are looking for somewhere to develop your skills further then Toastmasters clubs will suit you too. Our members range from complete novices to championship speakers.

How Toastmasters Works for the business or life coach
As your improved communication skills become obvious within the workplace, increased visibility, recognition and promotion will follow.
Your improved presentation skills will win you the respect and admiration of your colleagues and employees and make them wonder what you did to change!
A Toastmasters club is a “learn-by-doing” workshop
Everyone hones their skills in a comfortable, friendly atmosphere & a typical club has 20 to 40 members who meet weekly or biweekly to learn and practice public speaking techniques. The average club meeting lasts approximately two hours. Annual Membership is about the same as that of a typical short Night School Course.

How Toastmasters Meets Your Needs
Leadership skills acquired through participation in Toastmasters will increase your management potential and you will acquire an increased ability to motivate and persuade, making you more effective as a business coach or manager.

They are self-paced programs which allow you to progress as rapidly or as gradually as your needs dictate. The Competent Communication and Competent Leadership programs provide the “how-to” and the practical experience so critical to progress. It always has an atmosphere of professional camaraderie which makes the Toastmasters club a unique learning environment.

To meet your personal objectives, often the Toastmasters program will enable you to improve in prepared presentations. You will also gain experience and knowledge in impromptu speaking and in the use of visual aids.

How the Program Works
The Toastmasters program exposes each participant to a wide range of communication and leadership experiences. Each new member receives a New Member Kit which includes the Competent Communication and Competent Leadership manuals, general orientation materials, and helpful booklets on evaluation, using gestures and vocal variety.

New Toastmasters gradually work their way through a series of 10 short speeches each targeting a particular area of speaking development. After each speech positive constructive feedback by an evaluator is given on your speaking strengths and areas to focus on in future speeches.

You work at your own pace, with no pressure, and there is always plenty of help available from other club members who act as mentors and in their turn improve on their mentoring skills.

In the process, you will learn how to organise a speech, how to use gestures, how to speak with conviction and sincerity and how to motivate your audience. You will develop listening and analytical skills as you too learn to help others develop their communication abilities.

As you learn your speaking strengths, and realise the skills you already possess so too your self-confidence will grow. Through repeated use of your speaking skills you will develop and grow in ways that a one-off training course or program could never hope to address. All of this in a positive, fun and supportive learning environment which is repeated in Clubs through the UK and Ireland.

Business & Life Coaches find these skills essential to their work
Testimonials from new to Toastmasters members.
“Four months ago, I joined Toastmasters, after almost a year of scraping together enough courage to do so. And now, the change in my life is nothing short of miraculous. Life has become so much more – more to experience, more to live for, more fun. My personal and career goals have shifted, too.”

“Because my fellow members have been so supportive, I managed to overcome my shyness, speak before audiences and discover my potential as a leader.”

Mentoring is an essential part of the Toastmaster system.

Left to fend for himself/herself a new Toastmaster member can flounder, procrastinate and slowly lose interest.

The mentor can give invaluable advice quietly, conversationally while pointing out the advancement system available through the many excellent speech programmes in the many books available. Whereas the lone Toastmaster is left to guess at what the whole deal is about often picking up the scraps from the table.

I was lucky to have Meg Heyworth available from my day one in Toastmasters. She showed me the initial Competent Communicator programme and encouraged me to immediately get going with a speech per meeting. Anyone with even a slight competitive edge will love the challenge of devising an original audience pleasing speech each two weeks. Meg has been such an inspiration that I now feel disappointed if I cannot have a slot for my latest speech.

Good mentoring equates with good advancement. Personally I have been shocked with the speaking engagements that have come my way since becoming an active and committed Toastmaster

Regards
DEC [Cluskey]
mailto:dec@makehits.com

The best guitar recording manual known to man = ‘So you’re Thinking of Recording Guitar?’ …. go to http://www.makehits.com/recordingguitar.htm
Meg Heyworth
· Reply

Wednesday, July 11, 2007 at 3:34 PM

Be your own Business Coach
Improve your Public Speaking skills
Learn how to overcome Glossophobia which is the fear of public speaking

1. Effectively express an opinion at work or in a meeting

2. Realise your potential by communicating your ideas in a more skilled and structured way.

3. Succeed is having better communication skills than others in your network

4. Toastmasters International is an International Speakers Organisation that offers a proven way to improve your speaking, listening and leadership skills.

Regular participation is the key to becoming a better speaker and leader. It all happens in a fun and supportive manner when you join a Toastmasters group. There are at least 132 clubs all over the United Kingdom and you will receive a warm welcome at every club you visit.

A personal life coaching aspect is the increased confidence you gain without too much effort as you take on the roles of the meeting officers & participate in the speaking sections. It is bound to help you succeed in whatever path you’ve chosen in life. You will be amazed at your own potential when you deliver great presentations, lead teams and conduct meetings. Added bonuses to your business coaching skills are being able to give and receive constructive feedback and to be a better listener.

One of the most common fears in people especially business people is the fear of public speaking and anyone who cares about giving a good performance is likely to have it to some degree, but this fear can be tamed and the best way of overcoming the fear is by doing it.

Public speaking is such a fundamental fear that overcoming it can have a dramatic effect on how confident we feel in all aspects of life, so life & business coaches are among the most frequent joiners of any club. As they can see that joining a Toastmasters club and practising public speaking skills in a friendly and supportive environment can be fun & often they recommend it as a way forward for their clients.

If you already have public speaking experience and are looking for somewhere to develop your skills further then Toastmasters clubs will suit you too. Our members range from complete novices to championship speakers.

How Toastmasters Works for the business or life coach
As your improved communication skills become obvious within the workplace, increased visibility, recognition and promotion will follow.
Your improved presentation skills will win you the respect and admiration of your colleagues and employees and make them wonder what you did to change!
A Toastmasters club is a “learn-by-doing” workshop
Everyone hones their skills in a comfortable, friendly atmosphere & a typical club has 20 to 40 members who meet weekly or biweekly to learn and practice public speaking techniques. The average club meeting lasts approximately two hours. Annual Membership is about the same as that of a typical short Night School Course.

How Toastmasters Meets Your Needs
Leadership skills acquired through participation in Toastmasters will increase your management potential and you will acquire an increased ability to motivate and persuade, making you more effective as a business coach or manager.

They are self-paced programs which allow you to progress as rapidly or as gradually as your needs dictate. The Competent Communication and Competent Leadership programs provide the “how-to” and the practical experience so critical to progress. It always has an atmosphere of professional camaraderie which makes the Toastmasters club a unique learning environment.

To meet your personal objectives, often the Toastmasters program will enable you to improve in prepared presentations. You will also gain experience and knowledge in impromptu speaking and in the use of visual aids.

How the Program Works
The Toastmasters program exposes each participant to a wide range of communication and leadership experiences. Each new member receives a New Member Kit which includes the Competent Communication and Competent Leadership manuals, general orientation materials, and helpful booklets on evaluation, using gestures and vocal variety.

New Toastmasters gradually work their way through a series of 10 short speeches each targeting a particular area of speaking development. After each speech positive constructive feedback by an evaluator is given on your speaking strengths and areas to focus on in future speeches.

You work at your own pace, with no pressure, and there is always plenty of help available from other club members who act as mentors and in their turn improve on their mentoring skills.

In the process, you will learn how to organise a speech, how to use gestures, how to speak with conviction and sincerity and how to motivate your audience. You will develop listening and analytical skills as you too learn to help others develop their communication abilities.

As you learn your speaking strengths, and realise the skills you already possess so too your self-confidence will grow. Through repeated use of your speaking skills you will develop and grow in ways that a one-off training course or program could never hope to address. All of this in a positive, fun and supportive learning environment which is repeated in Clubs through the UK and Ireland.

Business & Life Coaches find these skills essential to their work
Testimonials from new to Toastmasters members.
“Four months ago, I joined Toastmasters, after almost a year of scraping together enough courage to do so. And now, the change in my life is nothing short of miraculous. Life has become so much more – more to experience, more to live for, more fun. My personal and career goals have shifted, too.”

“Because my fellow members have been so supportive, I managed to overcome my shyness, speak before audiences and discover my potential as a leader.”

Mentoring is an essential part of the Toastmaster system.

Left to fend for himself/herself a new Toastmaster member can flounder, procrastinate and slowly lose interest.

The mentor can give invaluable advice quietly, conversationally while pointing out the advancement system available through the many excellent speech programmes in the many books available. Whereas the lone Toastmaster is left to guess at what the whole deal is about often picking up the scraps from the table.

I was lucky to have Meg Heyworth available from my day one in Toastmasters. She showed me the initial Competent Communicator programme and encouraged me to immediately get going with a speech per meeting. Anyone with even a slight competitive edge will love the challenge of devising an original audience pleasing speech each two weeks. Meg has been such an inspiration that I now feel disappointed if I cannot have a slot for my latest speech.

Good mentoring equates with good advancement. Personally I have been shocked with the speaking engagements that have come my way since becoming an active and committed Toastmaster

Regards
DEC [Cluskey]
mailto:dec@makehits.com

The best guitar recording manual known to man = ‘So you’re Thinking of Recording Guitar?’ …. go to http://www.makehits.com/recordingguitar.htm
Anita Joyce Vigh Strand
· Reply

Wednesday, July 11, 2007 at 3:32 PM

Giving Free coaching sessions
Did you ever give away: ”free coaching” sessions? How did your coacheé show up?

I believe that the most important part of a good coaching session is that the coacheè shows up for himself and that the coach shows up with the right attitude. – and I know that I always have the attitude.

One category of people going for free coaching sessions are friends or friendly people coming in with the attitude: I’m doing this to help you getting some practise. Most of these people might spend half their coaching session “getting nowhere” – they are not really committed. But after half a session they might start getting involved and they will often end the session very surprised: WOW! I did this much for myself. These people are likely to become customers.

A second category is people who sign up for the coaching “just because it’s free”. They might postpone the coaching session several times and they are likely to show up unprepared and not ready to focus. These people are not very likely to benefit from your coaching and therefore not very likely to become customers.

A third group of people who want the free coaching are people who can’t afford to pay the price. I usually find that it’s a real delight giving coaching to these people – they are often very keen on making changes in their life – but they might never become paying customers in your coaching business.

So my choice is to limit my free sessions to people I believe are in the third group (and decide on a certain number of free coaching sessions per month). The first and second group? I might give a discount for the first session or tell them that they get their money back if they don’t see any result after 5 sessions. I want then to pay for my coaching – and I want them to be committed from the moment our coaching session begins.
Anita Joyce Vigh Strand
· Reply

Wednesday, July 11, 2007 at 3:31 PM

Getting Free coaching sessions
Did you ever try to book one of these: ”free coaching” sessions that many coaches provides? What are your experiences?

I believe that the most important part of a good coaching session is that the coacheè shows up for himself and that the coach shows up with the right attitude.

My first experience with a free coaching was that the coach was so focused on performing – to see himself as a good coach – that he found it difficult to stay present and to really listening to what I was saying. That is not good coaching. The questions did not follow my statements and I got more and more confused, and I left the place.

My second experience getting a free coaching was way better – this seemed to be a very competent coach – but after a while she would start to give me advices rather than pose me questions. For me there is a difference between calling a counsellor and calling a coach – I believe that the coach is there the help me find my own answers – that’s what I call coaching – where as a counsellor will pose questions AND provide the answers – that is counselling (different from coaching).

My third experience with free coaching was a complete catastrophe! On our first phone conversation with out leaving any time for questions, later he cancelled or postponed our appointment. Well that can happen – but he accentually told me: ”I have to cancel our coaching session – I have something important coming up”. Why does he offer free coaching sessions if he doesn’t believe that they are important? – the coach actually postponed two more times, before I cancelled our coaching session.

To me it doesn’t matter if the price for the coaching is 0 or $400 – it is still “my time” and I want the coach to be present and do the coaching – no advices, no pre-determined destination on his behalf – I want him to show up and do the coaching!
Ben Goldfarb
· Reply

Wednesday, July 11, 2007 at 3:29 PM

Groundhog Year
by Ben Goldfarb

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over while expecting different results. A variation on that is expecting to achieve our goals without creating and executing a plan of action.

This “endless loop” concept is illustrated beautifully in the 1993 movie “Groundhog Day,” directed by Harold Ramis. The movie serves as a paradigm of repentance (teshuva) and illustrates how one man creates and executes a plan of action.

In this movie, Bill Murray plays a television weatherman who finds himself living the same day, Feb. 2 (Groundhog Day), over and over again. At first, he is despondent and self-destructive and indulges in less-than-positive behaviors as a result of his predicament. After many rounds of living the same day, however, he embarks on a campaign of altruism and self-improvement.

I won’t give away any more details of the movie, in case you decide to watch it. Suffice it to say that we are entertained and educated as we witness the protagonist making a conscious decision to create goals and put a plan of action in place, thereby enjoying a different outcome.

The following are some suggested ways to realize your goals and avoid the Groundhog Day syndrome.

* Analyze Your Goals

Take a close look at your stated goals and make sure they are elements of your life that are under your control. An effective goal is one that you can achieve yourself. For instance, you can’t necessarily make people like you, but you can certainly take steps to make yourself more likable. That is under your control and you can achieve it. You may need to rephrase your goals so that they match this criterion.

* Visualize the Outcome

Before working on your goals, imagine the outcome. Make the outcome compelling and exciting. In your mind’s eye, there is no difference between what is vividly imagined and what is real. Envision your desired reality as if you are already living it. This will make it easier to accomplish your goals.

* Write Down Your Plan of Action

An old saying is that a goal is a dream with a deadline. Write your plan down and make a commitment to follow it. Never underestimate the power of written goals. A recent long-term study of college graduates revealed that the most successful students were those 5 percent of the graduating class who had taken the time to commit their goals to writing. This small percentage was more successful in terms of income and self-satisfaction than the other 95 percent of the other graduates combined.

* Monitor Your Progress

A few weeks into your plan, take some time to review how well you have done so far. Reward yourself for positive changes that you have made, fine-tune parts of the plan that may need adjusting, and then set the next series of benchmarks. Accept any setbacks as learning experiences. Repeat this review process at least once a month.

When we put an action plan into place, we can get closer to achieving our goals and honoring the commitments we have made. In this way, we won’t be destined to live yet another “Groundhog Year.”

— — —

Ben Goldfarb was born and raised in El Paso, Texas, and is a graduate of the University of Texas at Austin. He moved to Israel in 1988 where he divides his time between his yeshiva studies and his coaching practice. His life’s calling is to help others understand their personal mission and accomplish it with humor, creativity and spirituality. His novel, Double Feature, will be published in the fall. For more information about his coaching practice, visit the Paradigm Shift Communications website, or send an email to ben@pdshiftcoaching.com. © copyright 2007 by Ben Goldfarb
Kevin
· Reply

Wednesday, July 11, 2007 at 3:15 PM

Life and Relationship Coaching – Overcoming The Blame Game
Kevin O’Connor

As a life and relationship coach, I get clients who really want to succeed in life and hire me because they see the benefits of having someone who can view their situation objectively and help them come to an action plan that will lead them to their success.

As the client and I look at the goals and objectives we also need to look at the stumbling blocks, the obstacles and the closed doors that block the successful completion of their task. There are many things that people list that hinder their growth and development; some are money, education, physical location, lack of certain resources and the list goes on.

One of the first items that I find that as a coach I need my clients to overcome is the blame game: “I can’t do X because so and so stops me from succeeding.”

By blaming others we effectively relinquish control to the other person and allow them the ability to run our program for us. As a coach, I show clients how to empower themselves, but when they give up the power it is a struggle for both client and coach to get it back.

Let me give an example. Client A has been doing her work for 15 years. She is very good at her work but is growing dissatisfied as she wants a change, so she can be challenged again. During the last year her supervision has turned over and now she has new managers at work. She has further become dissatisfied because of their new approaches to solving problems. She still wants to make changes in her life but now is in constant turmoil because of disagreements with her supervisors.

In coaching, I help the client realize that he or she can only change him or herself. This client was getting upset daily, was having trouble sleeping and was constantly in conflict. It took time, but working diligently, she was finally able to own her attitude and make the necessary shifts to work through the situation and get back on track to meeting her original goals. For the longest time she wanted them to change and fought for that; once she began to change her attitude and ideas, the managers changed with her. She had the power the entire time, but by blaming and being angry with her supervisors, she gave the control and focus of her destiny to them.

There are many tools that can be employed to help an individual who is in stress at this time, breathing, use of “I” statements, assertiveness training, journaling and memo reminders to name a few. Contracting with a coach to use some of these tools gives clients a positive way to meet the challenge head on and keep their focus on their goals. Together this unique team will work towards meeting their goals and engaging in success.

“I’ve missed over 9,000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times I’ve been trusted to take the game-winning shot… and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.”
— Michael Jordan

Kevin O’Connor
Sojourner Enterprises
admin@sojournerpreises.com
http://www.sojournerenterprises.com
907-688-8416
biancia tate
· Reply

Wednesday, July 11, 2007 at 3:13 PM

Life Coaching through Grief and Adversity.
To keep oneself strong and able to perservere and endure traumatic grief and harsh adversity, one needs to guard their mindset and try to find meaning and hope within the loss and trial. One needs to read books about other survivors who have endured grief and adversity and have learned the divine lessons that are contained within the storm. One needs to read about bible people like Moses who endured a harsh wilderness with a troublesome people on his way to a promised land or King David who endured danger and grief on his way to being King. One needs to be teachable during times of grief and adversity and one needs to be aware of one’s surroundings and the people God is sending into one’s life. The people are the key to the meaning behind the trial. So, be teachable, gain wisdom and stay alert for, right in the midst of pain there is gain which is a new life. Biancia Tate -wife of a traumatic brain injury survivor and founder of the Hope Network.
todd
· Reply

Wednesday, July 11, 2007 at 2:56 PM

Nice BLog. Where can I post an artical. I am a life planner/financial coach and would love to contibute.
Thanks!
Todd
http://www.azmythfinancial.com
Anonymous
· Reply

Wednesday, July 11, 2007 at 1:29 PM

How does it feel like to be in a traffic jam and can we all learn something useful caught up in a traffic?
As I drove home from work in a very heavy traffic yesterday evening from Bodegraven to De Meern I suddenly got a special observation by watching many of the people impatiently driving home, majority of them probably exhausted from the day’s work.

It was great fun when instead of worrying about the low pace in which we moved I immediately switched into a concert gear enjoying the head scratching of many drivers, the banging of seats, the “shit” yellings, disapproval nodding of heads and
the fuming of cigarets smoke just to calm nerves.
What more did I observe? Rampant eating of tiktaks and any other edible thing around such as chewing gums, mints etc. Yes I understand but the 1000 dollar question is what can you do when caught up in a heavy traffic?
Ask yourself if there is an alternative way to minimize the tense moodiness? Yes! Yes!. First of all know that you are never alone in the traffic jam and so why make it your problem? Just relax and look around to see if you can always find something useful to do whilst in the traffic eg, music, listening to audio motivational recordings, start thinking of the plans you have for the next day or even start thinking of what you want to become in the future and what you can do towards achieving that. What you will say to your wife/girl friend or husband/boy friend when you get home.
By putting your mind on those useful thoughts you end up getting home without feeling the stress normally experienced by going through a heavy traffic.

George the Frafra, The Netherlands
Alan Allard
· Reply

Wednesday, July 11, 2007 at 1:04 PM

The Power of Your Language: How To Create The Future You Want

Alan Allard
President,
Genius Dynamics, Inc.

Imagine living in the world that Helen Keller found herself in nineteen months after arriving on this planet. A world that was dark and silent as the result of a high fever that eliminated her ability to see and hear.

In her autobiography, Helen wrote, “Then…came the illness which closed my eyes and ears and plunged me into the unconsciousness of a newborn baby.” By the time Anne Sullivan came along to teach her, Helen’s ability to communicate was confined to very basic gestures and sounds.

However, contrary to what circumstances would seem to dictate, Helen Keller went on to design a life of her own choosing, on levels that took her to positions of influence and prominence that are rarely reached.

Have you ever wondered how someone born in the small and insignificant town of Tuscumbia, Alabama, without sight and hearing, learned how to consistently capture the minds and hearts of those she came into contact with?

Helen Keller left us some clues in her autobiography! She wrote, “Meanwhile the desire to express myself grew. The few signs I used became less and less adequate, and my failures to make myself understood were invariably followed by outbursts of passion. I felt as if invisible hands were holding me, and I made frantic efforts to free myself. I struggled-not that struggling helped matters, but the spirit of resistance was strong within me; I generally broke down in tears and physical exhaustion. After awhile the need of some means of communication became so urgent that these outbursts occurred daily, sometimes hourly.”

The Right Teacher Makes The Difference. Period.

You can imagine, then, just how pivotal the arrival of Anne Sullivan was to Helen Keller’s future. Anne Sullivan brilliantly transferred a power to Helen that Helen would then use to build an extraordinary life. And what was that power?” It was, in fact, the power of language… the power of language to bring about what we desire. Ann Sullivan realized that to transform Helen from a little girl full of stress and struggles into a fully functioning and powerful adult required her teaching Helen how to communicate in a way that would support her desired outcomes.

Despite the fact that Helen Keller, like all healthy human beings, was capable of learning anything she desired, her first required step was for her to learn how to communicate effectively with herself–and those around her. She had to learn how to use words, and more than just words, to bring her desired future into being.

Helen’s future depended upon her ability to tap into the power of language and communication. Now, as she learned to do just that, and developed mastery in her communications, she rose to positions of great influence, power and prominence… all the while savoring the moments and experiences of her life-a life that she literally “languaged” into existence.

And how did Helen come to have such a life? The answer to that partially lies in understanding that she had a profound desire to learn, and learn, and learn and learn. And that profound desire led to one thing, and then to another, and then to another, and then to another, all of which led up to a very remarkable life.

And what does all this have to do with you? With me? Everything…or nothing. It is our choice. We can open our eyes and ears to learn from Helen Keller, or not. She faced seemingly insurmountable circumstances, and she simply learned her way around all of them.

Perhaps there have been some things in your life that have not been as enjoyable or as easy as you would like. Perhaps in the context of your relationships with your significant other, or your children or your friends. Or in the context of your health, your career, your dreams, your income, or your overall relationship with yourself.

Why Some Things Are Not Yet Easy and Enjoyable for You

If something has not been easy for you, it is simply an indication of something you do not yet know! Period. It is an indication that you have not yet learned how to do “X” easily and enjoyably. Nothing more. So, it is a matter of learning. And unlike Helen Keller, you probably enjoy the gift of being able to see and hear what is around you. So, you can learn all you want and do so quite rapidly and naturally. Believe it or not! Either way, you are using the inherent power of language, are you not? The power to move you in a certain direction.

The question is, in what direction do you want to move? Understanding that your ongoing communication with yourself and others, how you are “languaging” your desires, your hopes and dreams, will determine the direction and pace of your journey.

What questions you ask– and your responses to those questions– give direction to your brain and your unconscious mind. If you ask yourself, “Why did I do that?” or “Why am I not further along in my life?” you will be off in a direction that will take you into more disappointment and frustration.

Useful Questions

Instead, you might ask yourself, “How can I get a step closer to my outcome?” or “What might make it easier and more enjoyable for me to become increasingly healthy and fit?” “How can I connect more with those I love?” “What does my ideal job look, feel and sound like?”

Asking yourself questions like these give you energy and build momentum. I imagine that Helen Keller, early on, asked herself why she became blind and deaf…and I imagine that she learned quickly to ask herself more useful questions instead. Perhaps questions such as, “How can I capitalize on what I have?” “What do I want to do with what I have?” “How can I make a contribution to others?” “How can I serve others and improve their lives, even in a small way?” Perhaps these are the kind of questions that Helen Keller used to create the future that she truly desired to live.

Human beings, all of us, have an innate capacity to communicate on the most powerful levels. What set Helen Keller apart wasn’t only her willingness to learn but also her discernment in recognizing the great teacher that Anne Sullivan was. The wisdom that Helen demonstrated in choosing to be Anne’s student is worthy of consideration. Long before Helen was ready to teach the world, she was ready to be taught. Helen was a brilliant student long before she was a renowned speaker and teacher. To get to that point required Helen to exercise patience and wisdom.

The Power of Simple Adjustments To Change Your Life and Future

Now, what about you? What do you want to learn about the power of language and how to “language” your future? You can learn to make a few simple adjustments in your ongoing communications that will profoundly alter the outcomes you create.

Adjustments such as using “clean” language to keep everything that is in the past…well, in the past. For instance, instead of saying to yourself, “Every time I make a presentation at work, I freeze up,” say to yourself, “Up until now, when I have made presentations at work, I have frozen up.”

In the first instance, you unintentionally would have “re-installed” the beliefs and behaviors that you do not want. In the second instance, you appropriately recognize that what you have done in the past is simply what is done and over with. Minimally, you allow for the possibility of something different happening! You make room for what you want.

Another slight adjustment that would give you leverage is to use “cleaner” language. Instead of saying, “Every time I make a presentation at work, I freeze up,” say to yourself, “It used to be, that when I made presentations at work, I often didn’t do as well as I would have liked. I am glad I can learn how to be a more effective communicator.” Notice how the two different statements generate different internal experiences for you. And then realize that our internal experiences greatly affect our external behaviors…and that our behaviors lead to our outcomes.

This Puts The Odds in Your Favor

What might be a likely response if you complained to your significant other, “We never spend any time together.” What is the matter with us?” On the other hand, communicating what you do want instead is more likely to bring about a desirable outcome… “I would like for us to spend some more time together this week. How about going to a movie with me this Friday night?”

When you communicate clearly what you desire– to yourself and others– you put the odds greatly in your favor of getting what you desire. Most human beings spend the vast majority of their time thinking about and making mental images of what they do not want. And then they wonder why they keep getting more of what they do not want! Our brain and our mind, on conscious and unconscious levels will move towards the mental images we create. When someone says, “I just don’t seem to have the money to get ahead,” he or she makes mental pictures of just that-not having enough money to get ahead–and unintentionally re-installs the beliefs and behaviors that will create more of the same.

Pay attention to what you communicate to yourself and others because you are taking it all in unconsciously. More than that, you are literally programming your future behaviors-the very behaviors that will generate outcomes. Why not decide now that you will learn how to communicate to yourself and others on levels that will make it easier and easier for you to generate the rewarding outcomes that you deserve?

Alan Allard is president of Genius Dynamics, Inc. His firm provides coaching, seminars and training and development. http://www.alanallard.com
Alan Allard
· Reply

Wednesday, July 11, 2007 at 1:03 PM

The Power of Language: How To Create The Future You Want

Alan Allard
President,
Genius Dynamics, Inc.

Imagine living in the world that Helen Keller found herself in nineteen months after arriving on this planet. A world that was dark and silent as the result of a high fever that eliminated her ability to see and hear.

In her autobiography, Helen wrote, “Then…came the illness which closed my eyes and ears and plunged me into the unconsciousness of a newborn baby.” By the time Anne Sullivan came along to teach her, Helen’s ability to communicate was confined to very basic gestures and sounds.

However, contrary to what circumstances would seem to dictate, Helen Keller went on to design a life of her own choosing, on levels that took her to positions of influence and prominence that are rarely reached.

Have you ever wondered how someone born in the small and insignificant town of Tuscumbia, Alabama, without sight and hearing, learned how to consistently capture the minds and hearts of those she came into contact with?

Helen Keller left us some clues in her autobiography! She wrote, “Meanwhile the desire to express myself grew. The few signs I used became less and less adequate, and my failures to make myself understood were invariably followed by outbursts of passion. I felt as if invisible hands were holding me, and I made frantic efforts to free myself. I struggled-not that struggling helped matters, but the spirit of resistance was strong within me; I generally broke down in tears and physical exhaustion. After awhile the need of some means of communication became so urgent that these outbursts occurred daily, sometimes hourly.”

The Right Teacher Makes The Difference. Period.

You can imagine, then, just how pivotal the arrival of Anne Sullivan was to Helen Keller’s future. Anne Sullivan brilliantly transferred a power to Helen that Helen would then use to build an extraordinary life. And what was that power?” It was, in fact, the power of language… the power of language to bring about what we desire. Ann Sullivan realized that to transform Helen from a little girl full of stress and struggles into a fully functioning and powerful adult required her teaching Helen how to communicate in a way that would support her desired outcomes.

Despite the fact that Helen Keller, like all healthy human beings, was capable of learning anything she desired, her first required step was for her to learn how to communicate effectively with herself–and those around her. She had to learn how to use words, and more than just words, to bring her desired future into being.

Helen’s future depended upon her ability to tap into the power of language and communication. Now, as she learned to do just that, and developed mastery in her communications, she rose to positions of great influence, power and prominence… all the while savoring the moments and experiences of her life-a life that she literally “languaged” into existence.

And how did Helen come to have such a life? The answer to that partially lies in understanding that she had a profound desire to learn, and learn, and learn and learn. And that profound desire led to one thing, and then to another, and then to another, and then to another, all of which led up to a very remarkable life.

And what does all this have to do with you? With me? Everything…or nothing. It is our choice. We can open our eyes and ears to learn from Helen Keller, or not. She faced seemingly insurmountable circumstances, and she simply learned her way around all of them.

Perhaps there have been some things in your life that have not been as enjoyable or as easy as you would like. Perhaps in the context of your relationships with your significant other, or your children or your friends. Or in the context of your health, your career, your dreams, your income, or your overall relationship with yourself.

Why Some Things Are Not Yet Easy and Enjoyable for You

If something has not been easy for you, it is simply an indication of something you do not yet know! Period. It is an indication that you have not yet learned how to do “X” easily and enjoyably. Nothing more. So, it is a matter of learning. And unlike Helen Keller, you probably enjoy the gift of being able to see and hear what is around you. So, you can learn all you want and do so quite rapidly and naturally. Believe it or not! Either way, you are using the inherent power of language, are you not? The power to move you in a certain direction.

The question is, in what direction do you want to move? Understanding that your ongoing communication with yourself and others, how you are “languaging” your desires, your hopes and dreams, will determine the direction and pace of your journey.

What questions you ask– and your responses to those questions– give direction to your brain and your unconscious mind. If you ask yourself, “Why did I do that?” or “Why am I not further along in my life?” you will be off in a direction that will take you into more disappointment and frustration.

Useful Questions

Instead, you might ask yourself, “How can I get a step closer to my outcome?” or “What might make it easier and more enjoyable for me to become increasingly healthy and fit?” “How can I connect more with those I love?” “What does my ideal job look, feel and sound like?”

Asking yourself questions like these give you energy and build momentum. I imagine that Helen Keller, early on, asked herself why she became blind and deaf…and I imagine that she learned quickly to ask herself more useful questions instead. Perhaps questions such as, “How can I capitalize on what I have?” “What do I want to do with what I have?” “How can I make a contribution to others?” “How can I serve others and improve their lives, even in a small way?” Perhaps these are the kind of questions that Helen Keller used to create the future that she truly desired to live.

Human beings, all of us, have an innate capacity to communicate on the most powerful levels. What set Helen Keller apart wasn’t only her willingness to learn but also her discernment in recognizing the great teacher that Anne Sullivan was. The wisdom that Helen demonstrated in choosing to be Anne’s student is worthy of consideration. Long before Helen was ready to teach the world, she was ready to be taught. Helen was a brilliant student long before she was a renowned speaker and teacher. To get to that point required Helen to exercise patience and wisdom.

The Power of Simple Adjustments To Change Your Life and Future

Now, what about you? What do you want to learn about the power of language and how to “language” your future? You can learn to make a few simple adjustments in your ongoing communications that will profoundly alter the outcomes you create.

Adjustments such as using “clean” language to keep everything that is in the past…well, in the past. For instance, instead of saying to yourself, “Every time I make a presentation at work, I freeze up,” say to yourself, “Up until now, when I have made presentations at work, I have frozen up.”

In the first instance, you unintentionally would have “re-installed” the beliefs and behaviors that you do not want. In the second instance, you appropriately recognize that what you have done in the past is simply what is done and over with. Minimally, you allow for the possibility of something different happening! You make room for what you want.

Another slight adjustment that would give you leverage is to use “cleaner” language. Instead of saying, “Every time I make a presentation at work, I freeze up,” say to yourself, “It used to be, that when I made presentations at work, I often didn’t do as well as I would have liked. I am glad I can learn how to be a more effective communicator.” Notice how the two different statements generate different internal experiences for you. And then realize that our internal experiences greatly affect our external behaviors…and that our behaviors lead to our outcomes.

This Puts The Odds in Your Favor

What might be a likely response if you complained to your significant other, “We never spend any time together.” What is the matter with us?” On the other hand, communicating what you do want instead is more likely to bring about a desirable outcome… “I would like for us to spend some more time together this week. How about going to a movie with me this Friday night?”

When you communicate clearly what you desire– to yourself and others– you put the odds greatly in your favor of getting what you desire. Most human beings spend the vast majority of their time thinking about and making mental images of what they do not want. And then they wonder why they keep getting more of what they do not want! Our brain and our mind, on conscious and unconscious levels will move towards the mental images we create. When someone says, “I just don’t seem to have the money to get ahead,” he or she makes mental pictures of just that-not having enough money to get ahead–and unintentionally re-installs the beliefs and behaviors that will create more of the same.

Pay attention to what you communicate to yourself and others because you are taking it all in unconsciously. More than that, you are literally programming your future behaviors-the very behaviors that will generate outcomes. Why not decide now that you will learn how to communicate to yourself and others on levels that will make it easier and easier for you to generate the rewarding outcomes that you deserve?

Alan Allard is president of Genius Dynamics, Inc. His firm provides coaching, seminars and training and development. http://www.alanallard.com
Rita Y. Walker
· Reply

Wednesday, July 11, 2007 at 12:22 PM

ACOF (Changing one life at a time)

The first Gift is life (Genesis 2:7), Second Gift is Choice (Joshua 24:15), the promise to life more abundantly (John 10:10), the prerequisite is for those who believe (Romans 8:28)

I have said this for years. It rolls right off the tongue, sugar to the ears. But stop and think of what it is really saying, it puts the outcome of our lives right smack in the middle of our hands. It assumes that in God’s dive order, we are given two major tools for to live a abundant life.

Life and Choice!

Ok, walk with me just a little ways. Life is given. No matter what the circumstance, we took that first breath. Now, we will need to deal with the gift of choice. CHOICE!

So what goes into our choices?

As we walk down the path of life, we gather what I like to call seeds. Seed are Psychological and spiritual nuggets that form the blueprint of our life. Every moment good or bad deposits these seeds. As these seeds began to grow, they develop in to “drivers”. Drives of the baseline of CHOICE!

Now that we know how they got there, how do we manage them? Let’s start with a simple, but profound question. Who are you?
Anonymous
· Reply

Wednesday, July 11, 2007 at 10:01 AM

How Can I Serve What You Are Becoming?

By Marina R. Walker, Ph.D.
Founder, The Firemaker Institutetm
Transformation through self-discovery, myth and metaphor
http://www.firemakerinstitute.com

“Come find your piece of the sun!”

As a psychotherapist experiencing my own personal evolution into a new millennium world of life coaching, I’ve long been involved in various human potential and spiritual healing movements. The coaching vs. psychotherapy conversation is one that has engaged me deeply as it’s an important and meaningful subject to many of us.

Having been in the field of mental health for nearly two decades, I’ve had ample opportunity to contemplate what I perceive to be the essential nature of psychotherapy as a healing art. I’m certain that there will be many who don’t agree with my views and that’s fine. But as I perceive it, my task is to present and bring forth this understanding that I’ve come to, not defend it.

I’m going to move ahead now with an assumption that most of my readers have a fair-to-middling idea of what life coaching is and can be. There are as many ways to coach someone as there are individual natures. Life coaching is a marvelous practice, one based on what is right and good and true about a person. It’s forward moving and essentially optimistic. It runs on faith, that is, faith in one’s capacity and faith in the power of affirmation.

Saying yes to life is a brilliant move. And life coaching with its clarity and power to help clients identify where they are stuck and where they want to be, is an immeasurably valuable way in which to bring forth human transformation, one individual at a time. And that – in my view – is the root of cultural change: one person at a time.

Where a coach asks how she can serve what you are becoming, a therapist (mostly) holds your wounds in her hands and asks, “How can I help you understand what you have been?”

This second question and the perspective from which it arises, is fundamental. I’ll continue to believe that attention must be paid to what it is that hurts us, but – and this is important – within the larger framework of “how can I serve what you are becoming?

To that end I’ve created a new model of serving this process of human beings becoming what they want and need to become. It’s a process that functions on a very long arc. In other words, it is an evolutionary method that also operates in the now.

I’ve incorporated principals of life coaching within a conceptual sphere, a quality of presence that also holds the space of what has not been all right, what has caused hurt and shame and stuckness. But as I see it, those experiences are not an end point in themselves. They are a place to begin the work, a place to identify, understand, then shatter and leave behind.

The way to do that involves a methodology I created and have named The Firemaker Method™. It functions within a mentorship and teaching paradigm that serves individuals to journey forward, to free themselves of mental blocks so that they can be free to live lives expressive of their whole selves, their full selves.

To accomplish this, there are specific steps outlined in my book, Seven Doors of The Firemaker. There, through the story of another seeker, a fellow sojourner, we see how this forward and ascending movement can occur.

If you begin this journey, and if you follow through, your life as you know it will change forever. And isn’t that what we all really want, deep, lasting, fundamental change?

Of course it is.

We want, we need a process that includes the entirety of who we are, not just our career self, or our body self, or our relationship self, but a way to embrace and express all of it, all of the dimensions of our life! We want and need a way that helps us build a life that is perfectly suited to who – in the very deepest dream of our hearts – we believe ourselves to rightfully be.

Underneath all that’s dark and negative and lonely and afraid in us is a place that knows, a place that dreams, that sees a different sort of life, a life that for most remains no more than an experience of what I call generalized longing. About this there is much more to say. If you feel drawn to know more about this, read my book, Seven Doors Of The Firemaker.

In the meantime, let me share with you something of how I view the differences between traditional therapies and the forward moving field of life coaching, of which I consider myself to be a part.

The Firemaker Method is a new model of personal transformation and spiritual growth dedicated to serving humanity within an evolutionary perspective. It is an integrative method that includes therapeutic concerns but – unlike traditional therapeutic models – uses a forward moving and ascending system of compassionate guidance and wisdom where individuals are respectfully shown how to discover and fulfill their life’s purpose through a mindful process of intentional action.

In contrast to other traditional psychotherapeutic models that extend along a linear continuum from the past to the present, The Firemaker Method presumes a long arc of consciousness development that begins before birth and continues beyond death. Human development is conceptualized in a way that is freeing to aspects of the Self that have become limited by treatment models conceived as a birth-to-death progression.

The Firemaker Method proceeds from the idea that we are born of cosmic dust and thus hold in the quanta of our cellular being all the vastness and mystery that implies. The envelope of existence, if it has boundaries at all, is at least enormous. So to permanently brand the meaning of a lifespan primarily in terms of previous trauma is to condemn an individual to a worldview that communicates the essence of one’s existence in a language of deficiency.

An historically based personal narrative – the bedrock of traditional psychotherapies – disconnected from a cosmic perspective has tended to generate a psychic leash, irrevocably tethering individuals to experiences of the past. It says in essence: “You can get better, but you will never get well.”

The Firemaker Method provides a new paradigm that allows lateral self-directed growth to rise spherically, in all directions, an individual “big bang” spreading outward from the energy of dramatic inner evolution. This inner evolution is not static or indelibly etched by the past like linear models, but is rather a dynamic and emerging one. It is the difference between knowing that our Earth is round vs. clinging to a Flat Earth model. It allows the client – called a sojourner – to define herself or himself in ways that support constant expansion and rebirth. It is unimportant to the Firemaker Practitioner whether the definitions of the Self arrived at by the sojourner be spiritual, psychological, mythological, physical or planetary.

For many, the journey toward wholeness is a dimly lit process experientially analogous to walking a long dark hallway. At first, that may even be true for individuals who experience The Firemaker Method. However, before long, sojourners are empowered to address problem solving differently from those who work from a more traditional therapeutic vision. This is because the emphasis is always on the pre-existence of perfect health, both mental and physical, something that’s present in everyone and only temporarily hidden.

It may be that we do not come into this existence without wounds, but even if we are a tabla rasa upon arrival, we are wounded soon enough and repeatedly. Hence mental health cannot be viewed as an absolute condition but as an ongoing process to be tended like a garden, cultivated and nurtured within the embrace of one’s life. Thus, living consciously as an evolutionary means to becoming whole is an alternative to psychological therapies that may unintentionally incubate stagnation and self-doubt.

“How can I serve what you are becoming?” we ask.

Holding pain in the light of the evolving self, the way becomes clear. Your wound is not your identity. It is not your destination.

Once you get this, the next question becomes, “What is your best possible future and what resources do you already posses to help bring it forth?”

You see, finding and creating your best possible future is, in my opinion, the true task. It is what you get to do once you clear out of the way the old, outworn, false and limiting beliefs that have held you back, painfully, for so long.

Psychotherapy is a powerful process that will be for many of you an excellent part of your journey. But when it comes time to move forward, to embody your best possible future, something more is needed.

The Firemaker Method addresses this need, your necessity. The way to your best possible future is an ever-expanding path, one that is lined with metaphorical doors that can be opened, entered, experienced, and then returned from to live life in the now as one evolves, stopping to do inner work and to grow commensurate with available capacities and resources. With this method, becoming whole is not separate from living life. Constantly elevating the quality of one’s daily life is the journey, and how one lives it along the way is the external proof of the ascent.

If you fear that you cannot make it, that the burden of pain you carry, or the daunting vista of the ascent is too great, know that you are not alone in your quest. Your Firemaker will be with you, available when needed, standing off to the side, guiding and supporting you, serving who you are becoming.

But when we are joined in such a way that we are seen as already being whole, we come to sense that we are on an adventure, and that in fact we are, truly, all right.

When I started this article, I addressed the notion that life coaching offers a fundamentally different view than traditional therapeutic models that show us where we are broken and where we have been failed. I hope that in this brief exploration you’ve glimpsed how this might be so.

There is a destination beyond insight. You have a purpose and it is inexorably interwoven with the experience of joy – joy that illuminates and brings us into dynamic alignment with the world. With this understanding we can be at peace – in this moment – as we journey forward to create the best possible future of our dreams.

Dr. Walker is the creator of The Firemaker Methodtm and founder of The Firemaker Institutetm, an educational entity dedicated to providing life-transforming information and individual mentoring processes grounded in myth, metaphor and the creative and expressive arts within a mind-body cosmological worldview with workshops, retreats, groups and practitioner training programs.

An author and working artist, she holds a Ph.D. in Human Behavior and is also degreed in Art and Clinical Psychology. She makes her home on the West Coast of the United States where she teaches interdisciplinary courses at the University level in the visual arts, writing and psychology and guides individuals and groups in The Firemaker Method.tm

To contact Dr. Walker or to learn more about The Firemaker Method and The Firemaker Institute, visit http://www.firemakerinstitute.com

Reprinting of this article is permissible with the addition of the above information.
Dr. Walker
· Reply

Wednesday, July 11, 2007 at 9:59 AM

How Can I Serve What You Are Becoming?

By Marina R. Walker, Ph.D.
Founder, The Firemaker Institutetm
Transformation through self-discovery, myth and metaphor
http://www.firemakerinstitute.com

“Come find your piece of the sun!”

As a psychotherapist experiencing my own personal evolution into a new millennium world of life coaching, I’ve long been involved in various human potential and spiritual healing movements. The coaching vs. psychotherapy conversation is one that has engaged me deeply as it’s an important and meaningful subject to many of us.

Having been in the field of mental health for nearly two decades, I’ve had ample opportunity to contemplate what I perceive to be the essential nature of psychotherapy as a healing art. I’m certain that there will be many who don’t agree with my views and that’s fine. But as I perceive it, my task is to present and bring forth this understanding that I’ve come to, not defend it.

I’m going to move ahead now with an assumption that most of my readers have a fair-to-middling idea of what life coaching is and can be. There are as many ways to coach someone as there are individual natures. Life coaching is a marvelous practice, one based on what is right and good and true about a person. It’s forward moving and essentially optimistic. It runs on faith, that is, faith in one’s capacity and faith in the power of affirmation.

Saying yes to life is a brilliant move. And life coaching with its clarity and power to help clients identify where they are stuck and where they want to be, is an immeasurably valuable way in which to bring forth human transformation, one individual at a time. And that – in my view – is the root of cultural change: one person at a time.

Where a coach asks how she can serve what you are becoming, a therapist (mostly) holds your wounds in her hands and asks, “How can I help you understand what you have been?”

This second question and the perspective from which it arises, is fundamental. I’ll continue to believe that attention must be paid to what it is that hurts us, but – and this is important – within the larger framework of “how can I serve what you are becoming?

To that end I’ve created a new model of serving this process of human beings becoming what they want and need to become. It’s a process that functions on a very long arc. In other words, it is an evolutionary method that also operates in the now.

I’ve incorporated principals of life coaching within a conceptual sphere, a quality of presence that also holds the space of what has not been all right, what has caused hurt and shame and stuckness. But as I see it, those experiences are not an end point in themselves. They are a place to begin the work, a place to identify, understand, then shatter and leave behind.

The way to do that involves a methodology I created and have named The Firemaker Method™. It functions within a mentorship and teaching paradigm that serves individuals to journey forward, to free themselves of mental blocks so that they can be free to live lives expressive of their whole selves, their full selves.

To accomplish this, there are specific steps outlined in my book, Seven Doors of The Firemaker. There, through the story of another seeker, a fellow sojourner, we see how this forward and ascending movement can occur.

If you begin this journey, and if you follow through, your life as you know it will change forever. And isn’t that what we all really want, deep, lasting, fundamental change?

Of course it is.

We want, we need a process that includes the entirety of who we are, not just our career self, or our body self, or our relationship self, but a way to embrace and express all of it, all of the dimensions of our life! We want and need a way that helps us build a life that is perfectly suited to who – in the very deepest dream of our hearts – we believe ourselves to rightfully be.

Underneath all that’s dark and negative and lonely and afraid in us is a place that knows, a place that dreams, that sees a different sort of life, a life that for most remains no more than an experience of what I call generalized longing. About this there is much more to say. If you feel drawn to know more about this, read my book, Seven Doors Of The Firemaker.

In the meantime, let me share with you something of how I view the differences between traditional therapies and the forward moving field of life coaching, of which I consider myself to be a part.

The Firemaker Method is a new model of personal transformation and spiritual growth dedicated to serving humanity within an evolutionary perspective. It is an integrative method that includes therapeutic concerns but – unlike traditional therapeutic models – uses a forward moving and ascending system of compassionate guidance and wisdom where individuals are respectfully shown how to discover and fulfill their life’s purpose through a mindful process of intentional action.

In contrast to other traditional psychotherapeutic models that extend along a linear continuum from the past to the present, The Firemaker Method presumes a long arc of consciousness development that begins before birth and continues beyond death. Human development is conceptualized in a way that is freeing to aspects of the Self that have become limited by treatment models conceived as a birth-to-death progression.

The Firemaker Method proceeds from the idea that we are born of cosmic dust and thus hold in the quanta of our cellular being all the vastness and mystery that implies. The envelope of existence, if it has boundaries at all, is at least enormous. So to permanently brand the meaning of a lifespan primarily in terms of previous trauma is to condemn an individual to a worldview that communicates the essence of one’s existence in a language of deficiency.

An historically based personal narrative – the bedrock of traditional psychotherapies – disconnected from a cosmic perspective has tended to generate a psychic leash, irrevocably tethering individuals to experiences of the past. It says in essence: “You can get better, but you will never get well.”

The Firemaker Method provides a new paradigm that allows lateral self-directed growth to rise spherically, in all directions, an individual “big bang” spreading outward from the energy of dramatic inner evolution. This inner evolution is not static or indelibly etched by the past like linear models, but is rather a dynamic and emerging one. It is the difference between knowing that our Earth is round vs. clinging to a Flat Earth model. It allows the client – called a sojourner – to define herself or himself in ways that support constant expansion and rebirth. It is unimportant to the Firemaker Practitioner whether the definitions of the Self arrived at by the sojourner be spiritual, psychological, mythological, physical or planetary.

For many, the journey toward wholeness is a dimly lit process experientially analogous to walking a long dark hallway. At first, that may even be true for individuals who experience The Firemaker Method. However, before long, sojourners are empowered to address problem solving differently from those who work from a more traditional therapeutic vision. This is because the emphasis is always on the pre-existence of perfect health, both mental and physical, something that’s present in everyone and only temporarily hidden.

It may be that we do not come into this existence without wounds, but even if we are a tabla rasa upon arrival, we are wounded soon enough and repeatedly. Hence mental health cannot be viewed as an absolute condition but as an ongoing process to be tended like a garden, cultivated and nurtured within the embrace of one’s life. Thus, living consciously as an evolutionary means to becoming whole is an alternative to psychological therapies that may unintentionally incubate stagnation and self-doubt.

“How can I serve what you are becoming?” we ask.

Holding pain in the light of the evolving self, the way becomes clear. Your wound is not your identity. It is not your destination.

Once you get this, the next question becomes, “What is your best possible future and what resources do you already posses to help bring it forth?”

You see, finding and creating your best possible future is, in my opinion, the true task. It is what you get to do once you clear out of the way the old, outworn, false and limiting beliefs that have held you back, painfully, for so long.

Psychotherapy is a powerful process that will be for many of you an excellent part of your journey. But when it comes time to move forward, to embody your best possible future, something more is needed.

The Firemaker Method addresses this need, your necessity. The way to your best possible future is an ever-expanding path, one that is lined with metaphorical doors that can be opened, entered, experienced, and then returned from to live life in the now as one evolves, stopping to do inner work and to grow commensurate with available capacities and resources. With this method, becoming whole is not separate from living life. Constantly elevating the quality of one’s daily life is the journey, and how one lives it along the way is the external proof of the ascent.

If you fear that you cannot make it, that the burden of pain you carry, or the daunting vista of the ascent is too great, know that you are not alone in your quest. Your Firemaker will be with you, available when needed, standing off to the side, guiding and supporting you, serving who you are becoming.

But when we are joined in such a way that we are seen as already being whole, we come to sense that we are on an adventure, and that in fact we are, truly, all right.

When I started this article, I addressed the notion that life coaching offers a fundamentally different view than traditional therapeutic models that show us where we are broken and where we have been failed. I hope that in this brief exploration you’ve glimpsed how this might be so.

There is a destination beyond insight. You have a purpose and it is inexorably interwoven with the experience of joy – joy that illuminates and brings us into dynamic alignment with the world. With this understanding we can be at peace – in this moment – as we journey forward to create the best possible future of our dreams.

Dr. Walker is the creator of The Firemaker Methodtm and founder of The Firemaker Institutetm, an educational entity dedicated to providing life-transforming information and individual mentoring processes grounded in myth, metaphor and the creative and expressive arts within a mind-body cosmological worldview with workshops, retreats, groups and practitioner training programs.

An author and working artist, she holds a Ph.D. in Human Behavior and is also degreed in Art and Clinical Psychology. She makes her home on the West Coast of the United States where she teaches interdisciplinary courses at the University level in the visual arts, writing and psychology and guides individuals and groups in The Firemaker Method.tm

To contact Dr. Walker or to learn more about The Firemaker Method and The Firemaker Institute, visit http://www.firemakerinstitute.com

Reprinting of this article is permissible with the addition of the above information.
firebabe
· Reply

Wednesday, July 11, 2007 at 9:57 AM

How Can I Serve What You Are Becoming?

By Marina R. Walker, Ph.D.
Founder, The Firemaker Institutetm
Transformation through self-discovery, myth and metaphor
http://www.firemakerinstitute.com

“Come find your piece of the sun!”

As a psychotherapist experiencing my own personal evolution into a new millennium world of life coaching, I’ve long been involved in various human potential and spiritual healing movements. The coaching vs. psychotherapy conversation is one that has engaged me deeply as it’s an important and meaningful subject to many of us.

Having been in the field of mental health for nearly two decades, I’ve had ample opportunity to contemplate what I perceive to be the essential nature of psychotherapy as a healing art. I’m certain that there will be many who don’t agree with my views and that’s fine. But as I perceive it, my task is to present and bring forth this understanding that I’ve come to, not defend it.

I’m going to move ahead now with an assumption that most of my readers have a fair-to-middling idea of what life coaching is and can be. There are as many ways to coach someone as there are individual natures. Life coaching is a marvelous practice, one based on what is right and good and true about a person. It’s forward moving and essentially optimistic. It runs on faith, that is, faith in one’s capacity and faith in the power of affirmation.

Saying yes to life is a brilliant move. And life coaching with its clarity and power to help clients identify where they are stuck and where they want to be, is an immeasurably valuable way in which to bring forth human transformation, one individual at a time. And that – in my view – is the root of cultural change: one person at a time.

Where a coach asks how she can serve what you are becoming, a therapist (mostly) holds your wounds in her hands and asks, “How can I help you understand what you have been?”

This second question and the perspective from which it arises, is fundamental. I’ll continue to believe that attention must be paid to what it is that hurts us, but – and this is important – within the larger framework of “how can I serve what you are becoming?

To that end I’ve created a new model of serving this process of human beings becoming what they want and need to become. It’s a process that functions on a very long arc. In other words, it is an evolutionary method that also operates in the now.

I’ve incorporated principals of life coaching within a conceptual sphere, a quality of presence that also holds the space of what has not been all right, what has caused hurt and shame and stuckness. But as I see it, those experiences are not an end point in themselves. They are a place to begin the work, a place to identify, understand, then shatter and leave behind.

The way to do that involves a methodology I created and have named The Firemaker Method™. It functions within a mentorship and teaching paradigm that serves individuals to journey forward, to free themselves of mental blocks so that they can be free to live lives expressive of their whole selves, their full selves.

To accomplish this, there are specific steps outlined in my book, Seven Doors of The Firemaker. There, through the story of another seeker, a fellow sojourner, we see how this forward and ascending movement can occur.

If you begin this journey, and if you follow through, your life as you know it will change forever. And isn’t that what we all really want, deep, lasting, fundamental change?

Of course it is.

We want, we need a process that includes the entirety of who we are, not just our career self, or our body self, or our relationship self, but a way to embrace and express all of it, all of the dimensions of our life! We want and need a way that helps us build a life that is perfectly suited to who – in the very deepest dream of our hearts – we believe ourselves to rightfully be.

Underneath all that’s dark and negative and lonely and afraid in us is a place that knows, a place that dreams, that sees a different sort of life, a life that for most remains no more than an experience of what I call generalized longing. About this there is much more to say. If you feel drawn to know more about this, read my book, Seven Doors Of The Firemaker.

In the meantime, let me share with you something of how I view the differences between traditional therapies and the forward moving field of life coaching, of which I consider myself to be a part.

The Firemaker Method is a new model of personal transformation and spiritual growth dedicated to serving humanity within an evolutionary perspective. It is an integrative method that includes therapeutic concerns but – unlike traditional therapeutic models – uses a forward moving and ascending system of compassionate guidance and wisdom where individuals are respectfully shown how to discover and fulfill their life’s purpose through a mindful process of intentional action.

In contrast to other traditional psychotherapeutic models that extend along a linear continuum from the past to the present, The Firemaker Method presumes a long arc of consciousness development that begins before birth and continues beyond death. Human development is conceptualized in a way that is freeing to aspects of the Self that have become limited by treatment models conceived as a birth-to-death progression.

The Firemaker Method proceeds from the idea that we are born of cosmic dust and thus hold in the quanta of our cellular being all the vastness and mystery that implies. The envelope of existence, if it has boundaries at all, is at least enormous. So to permanently brand the meaning of a lifespan primarily in terms of previous trauma is to condemn an individual to a worldview that communicates the essence of one’s existence in a language of deficiency.

An historically based personal narrative – the bedrock of traditional psychotherapies – disconnected from a cosmic perspective has tended to generate a psychic leash, irrevocably tethering individuals to experiences of the past. It says in essence: “You can get better, but you will never get well.”

The Firemaker Method provides a new paradigm that allows lateral self-directed growth to rise spherically, in all directions, an individual “big bang” spreading outward from the energy of dramatic inner evolution. This inner evolution is not static or indelibly etched by the past like linear models, but is rather a dynamic and emerging one. It is the difference between knowing that our Earth is round vs. clinging to a Flat Earth model. It allows the client – called a sojourner – to define herself or himself in ways that support constant expansion and rebirth. It is unimportant to the Firemaker Practitioner whether the definitions of the Self arrived at by the sojourner be spiritual, psychological, mythological, physical or planetary.

For many, the journey toward wholeness is a dimly lit process experientially analogous to walking a long dark hallway. At first, that may even be true for individuals who experience The Firemaker Method. However, before long, sojourners are empowered to address problem solving differently from those who work from a more traditional therapeutic vision. This is because the emphasis is always on the pre-existence of perfect health, both mental and physical, something that’s present in everyone and only temporarily hidden.

It may be that we do not come into this existence without wounds, but even if we are a tabla rasa upon arrival, we are wounded soon enough and repeatedly. Hence mental health cannot be viewed as an absolute condition but as an ongoing process to be tended like a garden, cultivated and nurtured within the embrace of one’s life. Thus, living consciously as an evolutionary means to becoming whole is an alternative to psychological therapies that may unintentionally incubate stagnation and self-doubt.

“How can I serve what you are becoming?” we ask.

Holding pain in the light of the evolving self, the way becomes clear. Your wound is not your identity. It is not your destination.

Once you get this, the next question becomes, “What is your best possible future and what resources do you already posses to help bring it forth?”

You see, finding and creating your best possible future is, in my opinion, the true task. It is what you get to do once you clear out of the way the old, outworn, false and limiting beliefs that have held you back, painfully, for so long.

Psychotherapy is a powerful process that will be for many of you an excellent part of your journey. But when it comes time to move forward, to embody your best possible future, something more is needed.

The Firemaker Method addresses this need, your necessity. The way to your best possible future is an ever-expanding path, one that is lined with metaphorical doors that can be opened, entered, experienced, and then returned from to live life in the now as one evolves, stopping to do inner work and to grow commensurate with available capacities and resources. With this method, becoming whole is not separate from living life. Constantly elevating the quality of one’s daily life is the journey, and how one lives it along the way is the external proof of the ascent.

If you fear that you cannot make it, that the burden of pain you carry, or the daunting vista of the ascent is too great, know that you are not alone in your quest. Your Firemaker will be with you, available when needed, standing off to the side, guiding and supporting you, serving who you are becoming.

But when we are joined in such a way that we are seen as already being whole, we come to sense that we are on an adventure, and that in fact we are, truly, all right.

When I started this article, I addressed the notion that life coaching offers a fundamentally different view than traditional therapeutic models that show us where we are broken and where we have been failed. I hope that in this brief exploration you’ve glimpsed how this might be so.

There is a destination beyond insight. You have a purpose and it is inexorably interwoven with the experience of joy – joy that illuminates and brings us into dynamic alignment with the world. With this understanding we can be at peace – in this moment – as we journey forward to create the best possible future of our dreams.

Dr. Walker is the creator of The Firemaker Methodtm and founder of The Firemaker Institutetm, an educational entity dedicated to providing life-transforming information and individual mentoring processes grounded in myth, metaphor and the creative and expressive arts within a mind-body cosmological worldview with workshops, retreats, groups and practitioner training programs.

An author and working artist, she holds a Ph.D. in Human Behavior and is also degreed in Art and Clinical Psychology. She makes her home on the West Coast of the United States where she teaches interdisciplinary courses at the University level in the visual arts, writing and psychology and guides individuals and groups in The Firemaker Method.tm

To contact Dr. Walker or to learn more about The Firemaker Method and The Firemaker Institute, visit http://www.firemakerinstitute.com

Reprinting of this article is permissible with the addition of the above information.
patricia
· Reply

Tuesday, July 10, 2007 at 12:08 PM

Are you Thinking of Becoming a Life Coach?

If so, lets look at some of the rewards of Life Coaching

The benefits of Life Coaching can be life changing!

A bold statement but nonetheless true. Take for example my client Janet, she had come to me for Life Coaching very depressed and de-motivated about her current job. Her unhappiness was affecting her marriage, her finances and her social life. She was spending money she didn’t have on things she didn’t need just as a temporary fix-it for her misery. She was unenthusiastic in her relationship with her husband and her children. She couldn’t be bothered to socialise, as everything was just too much of an effort. In short she was fed up and miserable.

When I first began Life Coaching her, it was necessary to turn around the way in which she viewed her job. To get her to see how her job could be a positive thing in her life. Though her long-term view was to leave, she had no idea what she wanted to do instead. Currently she felt as if she was stuck and could take no chances, as she was the main breadwinner of the family and that her options were limited. She couldn’t even see a light at the end of the tunnel!

The Life Coaching process enabled her to take a different view of her whole situation and to reframe her perspective. Reframing allowed her to see that her job was enabling her to meet her family’s financial needs whilst she decided what it was she wanted to do with her future. As she followed through with the Life Coaching, she began to see that she wasn’t stuck and that there were plenty of options available to her. As her Life Coach I could sense she was becoming much more optimistic and positive. This in turn gave her energy and spirit, which she had been missing for a long time. End result is that Janet is now training to be a Life Coach herself! So her job which before had been a source of despair has become a means through which her new career as a Life Coach is being funded and a safety net for her as she begins to build her own client base.

Speaking as a Life Coach, I find Life Coaching to be extremely rewarding and worthwhile. I believe that many Life Coaches enter into this field, as they genuinely want to make a difference in people’s live and to see them change for the better.

I have found in my practice as a Life Coach that good listening is important, sometimes hearing what is not being said is key. A Life Coach needs be positive in approach and attitude, I feel that this is contagious and infuses my clients. I am sure many Life Coaches will agree that motivating the client and having them feel happy about what they do makes a big difference.

What other field gives you such an opportunity? Life Coaching is essentially about deciding on your goals and obtaining results. Enabling people to turn their dreams into goals and bringing these into reality.

Patricia Benjamin

Patricia@capitallifecoaching.co.uk
trulyrich
· Reply

Monday, July 9, 2007 at 12:51 AM

Coaching by playing cards!

If life is a journey – then you really only ever face 2 issues: either you don’t know where you’re going, or you know where you’re going – you’re just not there yet…

I had recently lost my job and I was inspired to change my career and my life by spending a year travelling the world to find my own unique purpose. I read about an NLP course online and it was there in November 2005 that I met Tim Kenning, at a seminar to introduce his Lifeways Coaching Cards.

Tim is a Master Practitioner of NLP who applies NLP principles in magic, problem solving and coaching and who, at the time, had just created a pack of life coaching playing cards! I was excited by Tim and his cards as I was looking for a way to coach myself as I travelled – so I purchased a pack.

Then a funny thing seemed to happen. Wherever I sat down to play with the cards and coach myself, people nearby would ask “what are they?” and “can I have a go?”

I was living for a while at a retreat centre on a beautiful island off the coast off Thailand. The fact that I had left behind everything I used to hold dear and was taking some time to follow a dream to travel the world seemed to inspire the people I met, and before long I discovered that I was offering life coaching to people from all over the world.

With Tim’s cards I really didn’t have to do much more than to trust in the process, to trust in the cards (they really have all the questions I needed to ask – they are all based on NLP), and to trust in myself to be open to whatever came up for people.

The cards are a really wonderful support to a first time coach. I have been using them for over eighteen months and I now have my first paying clients. I have used the cards with people from all over the globe – from Israel to Canada, Sweden to Switzerland to Australia, Britain to America. Tim’s metaphor of life as a journey truly does work with people from every country.

I often use the cards as part of a free trial coaching session I offer to people – and they love it! – because people love metaphors and they absolutely love playing games.

As I coached myself using the cards, I found that each time I made a little map of my own journey and asked myself Tim’s key question, “if this was happening in real life, what would you do?” I tapped in to my deepest desires and moved away from a world where I had been trapped by my own fears.

In the past eighteen months, I have lived in Thailand, India, and the US. I have trained as a yoga teacher in Thailand and as a meditation teacher in the Himalayas and as a relationship coach in San Francisco. I have travelled through Africa on an overland truck and on rickety buses through South East Asia. Oh, and I met a wonderful woman who I got engaged to after just 10 days! (We are about to celebrate our first year together). I am about to create a new life with her in San Francisco, where I will be studying a Masters Degree in Transpersonal Psychology and completing my life coach training.
What a journey!

Can I guarantee that all this will be available to you if you use these coaching cards? Hey, that’s up to you! But if you are looking for an incredible tool that will support you in your coaching, then I’m pretty sure you’ve found it.

Rich Litvin (richlitvin@speedymail.org)

You can find Tim’s cards at http://www.lifewayscoaching.co.uk
jonathangreen
· Reply

Saturday, July 7, 2007 at 9:36 AM

Life Coaching 101
Jonathan A. Green M.A.
LifeMAPS
http://www.lifemapsonline.net

Life Coaching is a very dynamic field. The coaching of an individual I order to attain their true potential is a unique opportunity. Often the client has the answers they are searching for. The client has the abilities, raw talent, and resources to achieve their goals. Life Coaching is geared to bring out these gifts.

Contracting with a Life Coach may serve many purposes. Working with a Life Coach is similar to working with an Athletic or Performance Coach. The concept is to work with an individual that can take you to the next level and beyond. A Life Coach can work with you to determine what it is you want to achieve. Life Coaches allow you to bring into focus opportunities you might not otherwise see.

Why do you need a Life Coach? You are smart. You are upwardly mobile. You are large and in charge. What can a Life Coach teach you anyhow? All they teach you is how to be warm and fuzzy inside, “Get in touch with your inner feelings” stuff, right? Not exactly. Actually, not at all. Does a pilot, leave an airport and fly around until they find the place they are looking for? Does a musician play their music until someone offers them a recording contract? If you drive from San Diego to Bangor, Maine, do you just go East and North on any road in that direction until you get there? All these methods may work, eventually. A Life Coach can assist you with creating Flight plan, a success plan to the recording contract, and a road map to Bangor, ME. Both methods may work, one is considerably ore focused. The Life Coach creates an opportunity to save many heartaches and use of unproductive time and procedure, in an effort to expedite and laser focus in on your goals, developing a plan to achieve these goals and how to best attain them.

Which is more likely to win the game 22 professional football players, or 22 coordinated, focused, professional players, playing as a team, led by a knowledgeable coach? Of course the team will. Why? The individuals on the team all bring something unique to the table from the Quarterback to the Defensive End. The coach can look at the big picture while focusing on each individual’s skills and abilities, in order to develop and execute a viable plan for everyone to achieve and win the game. The team that wins enough games wins the Conference championship. The two teams that win their conference face off in the Super Bowl. The teams do not get there by all the players going out on the field and doing their own thing until they win. They network, coordinate, implement and execute, a series of developed plays that have exhaustively been practiced until the plays are in Rote memory, they can do them in their sleep. A Life Coach brings that focus, design, and action plan to the table. The difference is the coach is there to help you to achieve your goals. A Life Coach works with you to determine your goals, put a date on them, create an action plan, and execute the Action Plan. If you do not put into the process, you are not going to benefit.

What do you want to achieve today, this month, this year, before you are 30, 40, 50, or 70? Are you living the life that you want to be living? Are you doing the things you want to be doing? What has brought you to where you are? What is going to get you where you want to be? Are you taking steps in that direction, or are you putting it off? A Life Coach brings all these questions and more together, to design a workable plan of action that you and the coach develop, implement, and execute. The Life Coach is with you for accountability, resourcing, and improvement. The Life Coach facilitates the gifts, and talents you already possess while guiding you to move forward in gaining the focus, drive, motivation to improve and persist in reaching and obtaining your goals. The Life Coach will work with you, in order for you to live the life you have always wanted to live.

Having a Life Coach allows you to focus on your situation. The Life Coach works with you to move beyond your past and focus on your future. The Life Coach brings many tools and resources to the equation. The client works with the Life Coach to research what the client desires to work on, usually setting personal and professional goals. The goal may be to acquire a cherished promotion, or a career change. The Life Coach works to develop a plan of action that the client has expressed a desire to achieve. The client works to attain the furtherance of their skills, talents and abilities as set forth in their agreed upon plan. The Life Coach provides a level of accountability the client would not ordinarily have available. The use of a Life Coach saves the client time, money and resources, by focusing only on what is necessary to achieve the goals, eliminating the less desired efforts that delay the attainment of the client’s goals.

Life Coaching brings change for the client. A client can attain their desired achievements, growth, and potential more expeditiously by using a Life Coach. Using a Qualified Life Coach allows the client to capitalize on the coach’s knowledge, guidance and resources available. The client benefits from the use of a Life Coach by achieving their goals more directly, allowing for more rapid succession and growth personally and professionally, attaining a more balanced life.
jonathangreen
· Reply

Saturday, July 7, 2007 at 9:34 AM

Can Life Coaching Help You?
Jonathan A. Green M.A.
LifeMAPS
http://www.lifemaps.net

Several years ago, I was working with David who was struggling to achieve a vision for his life. I was working as a counselor at this time. I did not call my work life coaching back then. I was in the process of developing our Life Management System, the Core 4. David was in his early 20’s, recently graduated from college. He had no real direction for what he wanted to do in life. Others had made his decisions for him up to this point. Dad had told him to play sports when he was a child. Mom had told him to study hard and get good grades. He was told he was going to go to college, so he could get a good job.

He is now 23, has a college degree in business, ready to face the world with no idea what to do. He had found a few entry level business positions, but did not really seem to enjoy them. David expressed concern for a lack of direction, not really having a sense of control in his life. We talked about the Core 4 areas: Physical, Mental, Emotional and Spiritual. David was not aware of these areas in his life and had not given any of these areas much thought. He had pretty much always been a follower. He followed his friends, parents and family’s direction. We discussed a plan for his life. As a Life Coach and being aware of his history I wanted to be careful to not provide him with the answers, but to draw out goals and a vision that he casts. David after several sessions and considerable homework was able to map out some significant goals in all four areas.

David and I over the next few months worked together to work on developing a plan to achieve these goals. David was strong in developing his professional goals as so often I have found that we all can be. He struggled with the personal goals though. As a Life Coach, I explained that there needs to be a balance though between your professional life and your personal life. If you’re personal life is not in order it will shine through in your professional life. It is important to not build a façade, but to build a solid foundation in your life. We set some professional goals for the short and medium term, understanding that they will be re-evaluated as we move through the life management system and work to achieve balance on the personal level. David agreed to multiple more sessions in order to focus on personal development

David worked diligently at focusing on what was important to him in the 4 core areas of life. He found with his background in sports that obtaining good physical health and conditioning came fairly easily. The Physical health feeds his Mental and Emotional energy often allowing for increased stimulation and thought processing. David discovered there had to be more though to obtaining balance in these areas than increased energy. David and I discussed other alternatives to stimulating the brain and the mind through expanding his thinking in the fine arts, through music, poetry, performance arts, and other areas. We discussed improving his intelligence through reading and discussion groups, attending seminars and workshops on different topics. Over the next couple of months David implemented many of these ideas and concepts, integrating the information into his processes. David was discovering through life coaching what his true potential is and what he really wanted to be and do. David was like the caterpillar entering his cocoon then in a short period of time emerging from the lessons of the cocoon as a beautiful butterfly. David was learning to balance his Physical Mental and Emotional Health. He was experiencing whole new worlds he was not previously aware of. One area was missing though, his Spiritual health.

David had grown up going to church on the “Holidays”. He did not have an understanding of Spiritual health. We discussed the importance of Spiritual health and how bringing the Spiritual component into the life management completes the picture. David had never really considered his Spiritual beliefs. We completed some exercises in order to gain better insights as to what David’s beliefs are. Through these exercises, David was better equipped to gain perspective of his belief, morals, and values. David admits that he had been living through his parents’ values and beliefs system, never challenging these beliefs but merely accepting them. David began to study different religions, reading, taking classes, attending workshops, and discussing religion with different individuals. David studied some of the philosophical thinkers, often challenging his thought processes, morals, and values. Through the experience David stated he was gaining new insights as to his thinking and his beliefs. After several months of working together, David was now envisioning his life very differently than when he had first contacted me. David now had a vision and significant goals to work towards in his personal life. Our Life management sessions now focused on the attainment of these goals, developing a workable plan along with accountability and developmental milestones.

The life management sessions David and I contracted for had attained only a portion of what David had been seeking. After some considerable work on personal development, we revisited his professional goals from a few months before to evaluate and assess their current status. David discovered that his professional goals were not as aligned as he thought. David decided to set some new goals to explore interests in a different area of business more in line with his personal goals. We applied many of the same principles used in his personal development for his professional development, trying to bring a homeostasis between the two. David found that his Personal and professional lives are very much intertwined. Our coaching now centered on maintenance and growth in key areas of his personal and professional development.

After a few more months, David attained many of his short-term goals. David was well on his way to obtaining his medium and long range goals. David was on track for reaching his full potential. Our coaching sessions transitioned from regular weekly and monthly session to quarterly meetings and monthly Accountability emails or phone calls. Periodically over the past few years we have contracted for more active coaching to work through some transitions.

Life coaching in this scenario became a very useful tool to David. David had the tools and resources available to him all the time. The key to Life Coaching is to bring out the available tools and learn how to use them to help you, instead of you working for them. Regain control of your life. Seek balance in the core 4 areas personally and professionally. You will look better, feel better, smell better, and work better. Life Coaching is not for everybody. Not everybody will benefit. The individuals that do make the most of Life Coaching and the resources available, those that want to make a difference, those that want to truly reach their true full potential will strive to be the best they can be. Like any great leader
Emily
· Reply

Tuesday, July 3, 2007 at 1:43 PM

As I was going through my early twenties until now I was lost, I am 32. I was often confused and distraught. I had graduated in Sociology, although my main love and passion was the theatre, film and acting. I was not someone who had the LOVE of accounting or business although, there is a rare person who does. I was unfortunately not made for the corporate world.

I was someone who at a very young age wanted to act, or write an award winning film. So, I was lost, walking through life in a daze.
Because, although I loved the creative arts, I also liked making money in a very practical way; the idea of my own business really inspired me.

I also loved self inspired reading such as Wayne Dyer, Louise Hay, Iyanla Vanzant, and Katie Byron to keep me motivated in life. I was very confused as to why I was this type a person? Why couldn’t I just put on a happy face, walk into a cubicle and wear a professional suit, while looking forward to 5PM when I could enjoy Happy Hour with a bunch of other people who had the same day as I had?

Because, I just couldn’t, I wasn’t that person. So, my first experience with a Life Coach was when I was working in a corporation as a Recruiter. One my candidates came in and saw how literally upset and on the verge of tears I looked. That is not the image you would want to display on a regular basis… at least not in sales. She referred a Life Coach to me. What is a Life Coach? I wondered. What could that really do for me? Is he like a therapist? And, when I first called him, and even a couple of times afterwards, I didn’t know what to say, what was crossing the line, and where this was going?

An amazing thing happened after those life coaching sessions, I took control of my life. I went from letting life engulf me and depress me, to fighting back. I examined where I was going, what my dreams really were, and I saw what my talents were.

And, though I didn’t get to where I am right now in a straight line, I took the initial steps after those calls, I was ready. I didn’t even know what I was doing; I started to move in a pro-active way. I quit my job , joined an entrepreneur partnership in recruiting, moved on to another partnership, and am now a life coach who helps people with their creative dreams, whatever they may be. There is no shame in where your heart lies, and no shame in not being like the rest.

“A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds….” Walt Whitman

Emily Yep
1-888-293-2012
http://www.ctcoaching.com
emily@ctcoaching.com
Suzanne Strisower - Your Catalyst Coach
· Reply

Tuesday, July 3, 2007 at 11:52 AM

Suzanne Strisower – Your Catalyst Coach
http://www.yourcatalystcoach.com
CLC Certification Paper #1
© 2007

Ways of Using the Levels of Fulfillment & the Five Quadrants
As Conscious Tools of Achievement & Fulfillment

In thinking about how I work with or use these quadrants both personally and professionally, I realized that this would be a great tool for me to use to access all of the different senses in our process and to deepen my connection with my being. In the Fulfillment Model – You Are Your Own Source.

How can I access this effectively for myself and use it as a tool with my clients? This became my quest to use this as a natural tool in all five quadrants: Physical, Mental, Emotional, Spiritual and Transcendental. I think my key coaching skills to access how my clients want me to “dance with them” are Intuiting and Sharing your Self. These show clients that I am with them, have been in similar/relevant experiences and can hold the space for them. I wanted to see how the exalted Levels of Fulfillment would align and inform the inquiry in each of the areas. As Steve Mittan said, “It’s hard to hold the space for people to be an A+ if they haven’t done it themselves.”

Physical
In the physical realm, I look at what is it I DO, want to do or are drawn to do. I like to see what is happening in my first chakra for survival and thriving, second chakra of creativity and the third chakra of power to see they are doing when they are creating or standing in their power and authenticity. I love seeing and feeling this because it is invigorating and inspiring to me to see one’s energy mobilized.

In terms of the Physical Level of Fulfillment, I think that the inquiry would be How do I want to em-body my physical well being? My success? And all other things relating to my 3rd dimensional world? What would its exalted state look like for me or my clients for them?

Possible Coach for Life coaching skills to help facilitate and access this could be: Acknowledgement-Giving Witness to and Articulating What is Going On, which for me helps the client name, be aware and celebrate how whatever they are doing that fulfills them. Challenging can be used in a powerful way to request the client to have more of whatever is being expressed here that they desire. Holding the Big Picture helps the client access how what shows up in this quadrant is aligned across their lives or not.

Mental
In this quadrant, the questions seem to me to be: What does the mind want to share about its thoughts about what would be fulfilling? What are the positive thoughts that your mind continues to dwell on? What are the qualities that it values and enjoys using and being? I guess the key here is the thoughts. I also ask people to look through their third eye to see/feel/know/explore what is there.

In the Intellectual Level of Fulfillment my exalted inquiry might include: What stimulates and challenges me intellectually? Satisfies me? Gives me a big picture experience of my reality?

The Coach for Life Brainstorming and Chunking It Down coaching skills are tools to engage the mind creatively to expand its possibilities for expression of what it desires and wants to create. These can be effectively used with Gapping the Goal and the Planning and Setting Goals to begin the manifestation of their desires.

Emotional
The emotional body can be accessed through the questions of feelings, or yearnings. What is it you experience when you experience the yearnings of your heart through the heart chakra. My experience here for myself is both an experience of tenderness, something “I want to hold close to my chest” or a lot of power emanates from these yearnings.

The Emotional Level of Fulfillment would include the inquiries: Manifesting my deepest desires, deep compassion and feeling the bigness of my humanity or my clients.

Sometimes, my clients are experiencing a powerful emotion associated with an outdated belief about themselves and the Presencing the Gremlin is an excellent technique to release these powerful pent up emotions/energy and to transform them into the gift that they are for the client. My experience of the Gremlin is that its limiting face can be healed and used as the powerful ally for the manifestation of the client’s true desires.

Spiritual
For me, this is the crown chakra, the future self, the higher self and guidance coming through. It is the Divine breathing consciousness into a vision and divine purpose. This can be an exalted experience for the client to really capture their divine personal mission and purpose.

The Spiritual Level of Fulfillment includes: Connectedness with Spirit, a connection with the Divine and other beings. Living from that integration of Spirit and Form.

The spiritual realm is wonderful, mystical and unpredictable and I love Listening from Service to facilitate the client’s (and my own) divine messages to come through. The next tangible processes of this for me with a client is to use the Connection and Championing of the clients divine and higher self’s expression.

Transcendental
The transcendental is most directly activated through the Ultimate Connection process with perhaps a Life Vision or Future Self process to activate the client in all of their quadrants. I ask my clients to sense/experience from all of the quadrants: What do you see, feel, touch, smell, sense, desire, Future Self’s messages, etc. This can then help me to focus with my client onto the next appropriate direction (level or quadrant) for guidance.

As I am exploring and asking how does this one get used, I am realizing that this is the ONENESS through which the other four flow and are manifested. I can see that as I am working with a client in their mind and they get all of their desires, thoughts, etc out that their next step might be how to manifest that in the physical or vice versa with any of the other quadrants. Then check with all the quadrants to validate that this is indeed a resonance for them throughout their being-back to the transcendental!

When I am in doubt, one of the coaching skills that I am growing to love is Silence, which for me honors the creative process and the unknown. This quadrant is Living the integration of Spirit and Form.

Transcendental Listening is a magical place where everything for me is merged – the client, myself and Spirit that then focuses the flow and guides me in my work with my clients. An example would be, the Divine would tell me to use those same techniques of Universal Connection and Championing to naturally swing from the physical to the mental or vice versa to do you want to do in your world?

For me, I am learning experiencing the transcendental as the place with no name that arises from nothingness and wakens when stimulated. I am learning to stand in this powerful place of not knowing but to trust where it is that I am lead. The 5th Quadrant Level of Fulfillment is expressed by my beingness as part of the cosmos and creation and my comfort in not having an ego or identity.

I also discovered that for me to be my best coach Self I have to bring in my own Higher Self to the session. I Listen and Be with my clients from a place of Divine connection. I have discovered that I am the stand for One’s creative passion of expression to manifest as gifts for themselves and the planet…

How interesting that I am manifesting these types of clients that I love to play with!!!
Suzanne Strisower - Your Catalyst Coach
· Reply

Tuesday, July 3, 2007 at 11:48 AM

Coaching, an Inspired Profession
© 2006 Suzanne Strisower, Your Catalyst Coach
website: http://www.yourcatalystcoach.com
“Align and integrate your outer world with your inner being.”

How can you help individuals and businesses define and focus more clearly on what is important to them? The International Coaching Federation (www.icf.org) defines coaching as an “on going professional relationship between the client and coach that helps people produce fulfilling results in both their personal and professional lives. Clients report that they deepen their learning, improve their performance and enhance the quality of their lives. Coaching concentrates on where you are now, your visions and goals and supporting you to achieve them.” There are many different types of coaching including: Mentor Coaching, Spiritual Coaching, Financial Coaching, Personal Trainer (health or sports) or Executive Coaching.

Coaching is a proven effective vehicle allowing you to explore and direct your life in a way that supports who you really are. It can use your connections with your guides, higher self and intuition to illuminate a life path and natural next steps that allows your deepest desires, yearnings and beingness to be expressed in the world. The Coach for Life training program, http://www.coachforlife.com, emphasizes coaches focus on the spiritual truth and magnificence of each person as the foundation of their coaching.

Webster’s Dictionary defines a catalyst as “A person whose talk, enthusiasm, or energy causes others to be more friendly, enthusiastic or energetic.” Clients have described their coaching experience with me as “honest, enthusiastic, spiritual, direct, soft (tough but gentle), intuitive, someone who understands the energetic dimensions, present and on purpose.” My coaching vision for have each client is for them to “Awaken, Achieve and Fulfill Yourself.”

This professional relationship is different than therapy, friendships and consultants because the client is uniquely responsible for setting the agenda and creating the outcome. The coach’s mission is to empower their clients to access their own inner knowing, wisdom and power. It does not deal with historical emotional issues or blocks, nor focus on past wounds as in therapy, it does not rely on a consultant to produce a work product or to give advice and direction or as a friend to talk things through. Its focus is in the present to support the client in living their vision and manifesting it in the world. Coaching can also be done in groups – either of friends or business associates with great success.

The areas most commonly explored in coaching are: Personal Growth and Development, Profession and Finances, Physical Environments (work and home), Physical Well Being, Rest, Regeneration and Relationships. The coach’s job is to take direction from the client about what area they want to focus on and support them in creating whatever balance and fulfillment serves the client for their life. A fun and insightful way for a client to view their life is with the Life Fulfillment and Balance Wheels. You can try this brief eight question survey – The Quality of Your Life located on my website at http://www.yourcatalystcoach.com. Feel free to email me your survey so that we can use it to schedule a session to enhance one of the areas for yourself during a complimentary 30 minute session.

The goal of spiritual coaching is for clients to have a balanced and fulfilled life through a process of aligning and integrating your outer world with your inner being. The process begins with an Inner Discovery Process which helps people to clarify their core values, desires and yearnings of their soul. Coaching helps the client or business use their core values and desires to create a Personal Life Plan and Direction that supports the expression and alignment with their essential nature.

The on going relationship of coaching typically takes the form of weekly contact either by phone or in person between the coach and client to support them in implementing their desired goals. Each week the client will set the agenda for their session, usually 30-45 minutes in length, connect with the clients inner knowing, to support them in getting clear guidance and next steps for their journey into the upcoming week. Coaching relationships can last as short or long as it benefits the client and traditional coaching relationships start with a three month commitment. There are several different techniques used by coaches to facilitate the client’s progress including: Inquiries, Requests, Presencing the Gremlin, creating Sacred Space, holding the focus and acknowledgements among others.

Coaching gives me the opportunity to share these gifts with people interested in expanding themselves. I am uniquely qualified as a coach because of my diverse background during the past 30+ years: being a professional Intuitive Reader at the Claremont Hotel in Berkeley, an author creating and publishing a unique new age rune oracle, The Runes of the Four Realms, a certified Clinical Hypnotherapist doing deep spiritual insight and healing work with people, a social worker with foster children and families and residential counselor to severely emotionally disturbed teenagers and as a corporate interior designer and project manager specializing in healthcare facilities. I have also taught numerous classes including Spiritual Awareness and Practice in Everyday Life, The Inner Journey and Creating our Personal Rune Oracle to audiences nationally.

Experience the possibility of coaching could be for you in your personal or professional life with a complimentary 30 minute session on a topic or issue of your choice. The coaching sessions can either be done over the phone or in person at my Chico office. Please call me at 530-589-5552 or visit me online at http://www.yourcatalystcoach.com to set up an appointment.
Suzanne Strisower, Your Catalyst Coach
D'Arcy Trinkwon
· Reply

Tuesday, July 3, 2007 at 4:51 AM

I’m suffocating… HELP!!!!

The boiler died a few weeks ago. Thankfully, however, not during the depths of a cold spell or the winter. Anyway, during the interim period before the heating-system can be replaced, it’s the Immersion heater to the rescue. The trouble is that He seems to have developed a problem – a rather vital problem – his thermostat seems to have died… The Sympathy of Machines?

You may wonder – incorrectly, as it happens – as to whether I live in some dilapidated old garret. Good point… except I don’t… but I do freely admit some of the stuff may not be state-of-the-art. But there again, I’d always prefer to have some beautiful objects around and near me – another bit of beautiful glass maybe, perhaps another beautiful bit of china – than status symbol mod cons. They simply don’t interest or motivate me much! Beauty does.

As I was saying… so, at the end of those days when you’ve worked really hard and concentrated at 4580 degrees, I, like many of us, love to languish in a hot bath full of whatever cocktail of aromatherapy oils I’ve been inclined to mix to suit my mood that day.

It’s wonderful, great cast iron bath, so I always draw a depth of hot water alone to heat it a bit before I fill it up: I’m not very keen on slithering in only to find my backside parked on against a stone cold base of iron!

So… hot tap on! Hmmmmmm! The clouds of steam that quickly belched out of the hot tap appeared more as though spurting from a volcanic geezer! Within seconds, the bathroom looked more like an exotic spa steam room… I myself, engulfed in a sea of boiling mist, more like a figure in a shipwrecking tragedy than someone trying to relax! Unable almost to see the door, window or other point of egress, it hit me! No! Not the door… but an idea!

HELP!!!

It hit me… that I’d felt this feeling twice today already……. On the Internet! (And no! my system isn’t so old as to have been steam-powered…) … Mentally I’d felt suffocated whilst viewing a few websites… of certain peers and colleagues in the world of Life Coaching.

Being endlessly fascinated by people, I love to see others’ sites and see what they’re doing, what they’re offering, and learn of new ideas, take on challenging ideas… even see what I might be doing wrong. I am but human…

But some of these Life Coaches’ sites are just like an Internet hypermarket… What EXACTLY are they offering? I’ve no idea…

The idea of giving out free offers seems to have wreaked havoc with many! Tabs for DVDs, navigation points for audio, books. A shop… is there homemade jam. A pie or two even?! One might only delve further into all the offers assaulting you the senses.

There are so many offers – for downloads, for audio products, DVDs, seminars… then free this, free that… plus more reports available for purchase than a provincial library, even a college library, might have space for. There are offers promising links to yet more offers. Once there you’re whisked off to a more distant page, even another site… Suffering from cyber jetlag and inundated with promises of world shaking authority, free reports for life, downloads to ferry you well into the next life… and keep you amused when there.

I love some of the truly great offers that people give: they can be wonderful. But speaking as an insider, I can say how many people are actively seeking to bombarde the viewer (or prospect) with these offers… to get them to pull out their credit card and get buying… BUY! BUY! BUY! And you’re saved! Order now, and be saved before the bill comes in! Buy NOW!
Order this… save your life… etc… etc. Stuff the coaching – Just get buying! You’ll be saved… your dilemmas met! (Or is it coaches who may be saved, having generated a decent stream of income… forget the coaching… they don’t really DO that anyway!)

In a word… B—-cks!

I’ve felt so dizzy, overwhelmed and stunned by some sites of so-called world leading gurus that I’ve hit exit, unable to endure my heart’s palpitations, trembling at the literal deluge of information that might (that WILL!) assault my room should I accidentally be terrorised enough to hit the “download” key in error – or by intimidation – and give the printer the OK to get churning out endless pages! (At least I could wallpaper the loo with something to keep people reading I suppose…)

But what is it they are offering? ……. Coaching…? Great advice? A wish to HELP me?

Or can it really be just a sneaky way to get money… to hook me and line in a stream of money. Who knows………….. Sssssssssssssh!

And where IS the coaching bit?

I’ve got to say I’ve been to sites and been almost UNABLE to find out anything about the services they offer that are really to do with coaching and helping people address and get on top of their life changes. But, of course, I can’t say who they are… I don’t want to be sued. But isn’t doing coaching what coaches are supposed to do?!

My point is that some of us – with albeit massively less vibrant and gyrating websites – are genuinely out there wanting and trying to offer people decent, excellent help and service. We can do it – and we can do it brilliantly. We can’t do magic websites though…! But do we really want to?

Another ever growing bête-noire of mine?

Newsletters…

All coaches are doing them now. I would if I could get my web designer to do me the necessary technology… and I’ve asked!

I’ve no problem with newsletters per se. I receive a varied selection of them from colleagues on both sides of the Atlantic. A couple are just great! Short, pithy and delivering a big injection of enthusiasm, motivation and energy! Like a morning shot of espresso. Delicious and a tonic.

But… heavens!!! Some of them….. run into pages and pages of “stuff” … I can’t advise as to the quality therein – I’ve never read them: I’ve simply never even bothered! Why would I… I feel swamped and buried in glue the second my eyes confront an endless scrolling down of paragraph after paragraph of stuff! STUFF by the page load!

And some of them are so dull looking too! Unbelievable with all the technology, creative possibilities, fonts and colours at our fingertips on computers… Don’t even mention typos, poor grammar or muffs…
Does anyone wade his or her way through these epistles of self-glorification? Some of these coaches seem to have given themselves such elevated status I feel them convinced they are The Messiah of modern times. The Guru of Life… or should they just get a mirror and talk to themselves.

We all love a good bit of stimulation, and I’m sure there are many great points in many of these tomes of “wisdom” (which is often subjective anyway…) … but what’s happened to the “service” they’re supposed to be offering… LIFE COACHING?

Hmmmmmmmmm… I’m ranting… and the pages are filling up!

But smile! I’m on your side… I want to help people do their thing better and with ever greater ease and facility. I definitely don’t want to be stuck writing a load of waffle all day long!

Think about it!

But not too much… go and have some fun! Much more important… and it’ll be much more beneficial.

My best,
D’Arcy
D'Arcy Trinkwon
· Reply

Tuesday, July 3, 2007 at 4:41 AM

Lady Macbeth and a bit of sugar

To say he’s clever is, of course, a ridiculous underestimation. Sir Alan Sugar breathes focus, intelligence, drive and charisma. He is a terrific model for a wise, very wise man.

Yet he also demonstrates something quite rare in today’s society. Something few want to do. Something people prefer to offload.

What?

Taking responsibility for their actions!

Watch him every week during the fascinating “Apprentice” programmes: he could teach many of us a vast range of skills to be acquired. For one look what he’s achieved from the most unprivileged of backgrounds. His rise has been truly meteoric… He took responsibility – rather than petulantly hurling blame and cursing misfortune – got off his backside and DID things!

But watch him in the boardroom: sales people could learn an armoury of skills. They might be dumbfounded at this statement as SAS isn’t sitting on the ‘selling’ side of the huge glass table. Read on…

But what would be one of the greatest skills you might learning from watching him? … The Art of Listening… this is a vital component in all business and personal dealings. Observe how he says little, but observe how he listens and observes every word, every single movement, each and every twitch of an eyebrow that happens on the opposite side of the table. Nothing escapes his notice.

But back to responsibility and taking responsibility for your – sorry his! – (slip of the fingers) actions.

Watch how he gleans information each week from his trusted advisors, who sit either side of him – rather like the ornate legs of a beautiful antique chair supporting the seat: they advice and furnish him with the information. He then disappears and digests it alone. And he makes a decision. He doesn’t ask them to join that process: he alone takes responsibility.

High-powered managers and success wizards among you reading this will – of course – immediately point out that this IS what CEO’s do. Of course it is! But… as with many things in life… everyday things can teach us numerous spiritual lessons.

Back to SAS… did you see the penultimate show? I sat on the edge of my sofa. Could he really chose ‘the one from Exeter’? However clever she undoubtedly is, she is hardly of any appealing disposition… SAS’s colleague Nick said it very politely – “she’s a game player”. She might appear missile of ambition… to be kind about it. She’s openly admitted she’d trample over anyone to get what they want. Ruthless. And proud to be so! And her insistence of things like her 90k a year and the silly Gold Card: many people earn more, much more. Many, many others earn much, much less. But who would you want her in your life, your office, your business more??? You don’t have to be a monster to be successful. (and did she term herself… “A Lady” ?!?! …)

Re SAS – I couldn’t believe he didn’t fire her. But he did flush her out. And brilliantly.

I’m sure he knew exactly what he was doing. And I’ve rarely seen anything so clever. Ever heard the expression “give them the rope…” … I’m sure he did know exactly what he set up. And what a lesson he taught the chosen one. Her loathsome arrogance and maniupulation of everyone crumbled, let alone her presumption she would be the one.
(Still, I’m sure now she’s free that she could do an amazing Lady Macbeth somewhere…)

He listened to all his advisors said… (aside I loved their interviews by the way – thank the gods for some serious cutting down to size of vacuous egos!…) but ultimately HE took responsibility for HIS actions. An amazing man in many ways. (And no! I am not in love with him but I do wish I’d had a mentor like that!)

So … responsibility. Not a very favoured word in today’s society is it. Everyone blames someone else – and I imagine the blood in a few reading this may even be soaring towards boiling point rather fast! Fantastic! Read on!

If it’s not because you came from a deprived, miserable background – it’s because you didn’t. If it’s not because you went to a third-rate university, it’s because you DID go to one of the best!

Get over it! Many of us are pretty sick of barrages of excuses being made for just about everything. Take responsibility for your life, for your actions… and move on. Achieve something worthwhile. Thank your circumstances for the things you’ve learned as a result. Education is never wasted – and it doesn’t just happen in the classroom. It happens in every day life!

Many people have succeeded against enormous odds. They’ve got on with it, taken responsibility and made a difference. Look at people who’ve struggled to overcome dreadful, depressing beginnings – look at those who remain in them and yet transform some grotty estate into a place of beauty, or start a wonderful youth club so the lost, unfocused kids have a sense of belonging, of somewhere to join in. Amazing.

And Life Coaching is about taking responsibility too.

It is not about prancing off to someone and getting them to create and effect the changes!

Quite the opposite! The coach supports, encourages, inspires, challenges… confronts even… the coach laughs (with – and even at…), the coach gets you moving and directing.
But ultimately it is YOU, and you ONLY, who can get your plane of the ground. You are the pilot.

Empowerment is a wonderful thing isn’t it? You don’t do anything but help people to unearth, encourage and polish the skills they’ve already got inside them – but just aren’t using. Simple.

See it another way. Think of a beautiful tarnished silver ornament. The tarnish, built up progressively, clouds the object – just as we layer on layer after layer of acquired mental thought processes (read ‘muck’) that do nothing but hide our true potential. But back to the silver… so armed with polish and a good cloth, we begin to polish the object. Before long the true beauty of the silver and the beauty the object dazzle us: that is fun!

And real Life Coaching is not much different: you just help people to show their true potential and their real worth.

It’s a synch! And it’s actually a privilege too to help other effect great change.

Take responsibility! Don’t offload your life to someone else. Grasp it and cherish it: it’s totally yours!

Enjoy it!
Linda Anderson
· Reply

Monday, July 2, 2007 at 10:50 PM

COACHING FEES – what are you worth?
by Linda Anderson, ACC, PCC

It fascinates that many new coaches struggle with the concept of charging real fees for their coaching. When I say “real” I mean fees that reflect what you offer your clients, the value that coaching has to them, and fees that support your position as a professional.

Naturally we charge fees that are in line with our relative experience but in my opinion most new coaches do not charge enough for their coaching.

In conversations with other coaches I hear things like “I’m not comfortable charging for something I do naturally”, “I just want to help people, the money is not important”, “I am still a student so I can’t charge people” …. and so on.
Do any of these sound familiar? I have certainly thought things like this.

Why have you become a coach? Yep – I know all the warm fuzzy reasons about helping people but what role do you want coaching to have in your life? Do you want coaching as a hobby or a career? Do you need an income from coaching or can you afford to run a charity?
Most new coaches I talk to want to be running profitable coaching businesses as their primary source of income. If this is the case then all the above thoughts about fees work against your desire to run a profitable business.

Earlier this year the world gave me slap on the face so I would open my eyes and change perspective around my own coaching fees.

I got married in March and in the lead up I engaged all sorts of people to deliver various services related to the wedding. The slap on the face came when I was looking for a DJ to play at our reception. I requested quotes from a number of companies and received a diverse range of prices. I received a quote from a DJ offering me a very personalized service and a per hour fee that was more than I charged for my coaching! Now, I am sure he is a great DJ and the service he provides would be worth every cent but the thought that crossed my mind was “this guy charges more to play CD’s at a party than I charge to help people change their lives!!!!!!”

My next thought was “Linda, get over yourself. No more shrinking violet attitudes about coaching fees! Be proud of what you have to offer and stand tall when you discuss fees. You are worth it! If a DJ can charge those fees you sure as hell can.”

Coaching is not all about money but running a profitable business sure has a lot to do with money. Believe in yourself, believe in the impact you have in your clients’ life and believe in your own worth.

Linda Anderson is a Certified Professional Coach dedicated to helping people live bold and rewarding lives. Linda has an energetic and direct style of coaching which suits people who like to be challenged. She currently works with clients in Australia, New Zealand, Philippines, South Korea, Japan and USA. Linda writes a free weekly e-newsletter called ‘a2a Inspirations’. Find out more about Linda: http://www.a2acoaching.com
Linda Anderson
· Reply

Monday, July 2, 2007 at 10:47 PM

Life Coaching – is it a renovation for the soul? by Linda Anderson, ACC, CPC

Coaches often use the metaphor with clients of ‘peeling back the layers of an onion’ to represent the process of coaching. Coaching starts at the outside of the onion and step-by-step removes a layer until the core is reached.

I would like to offer up a new metaphor – ‘Coaching is like renovating a kitchen floor’ – truly!!

My husband and I recently became the owners of our new house … actually the house is very old … we are simply the new owners. The previous owner lived there for 55 years so there is a lot of history in this house. We bought this house knowing that the kitchen floor may need some work.
“Some work” is defined as anything between replacing a few floorboards to replacing the entire floor!

We pulled up 4 layers of linoleum before we reached the wooden floor underneath. We discovered that some parts of the floor had totally rotted away and would need replacing and some parts of the floor were still in good condition. The most important thing is that we discovered what was truly there so that we could develop our plan to move forward.

So here is how my metaphor relates …
In coaching you work one layer at a time to reach what lies at the base (just like removing layers of linoleum). Quite often you don’t know what you will find until you get there. You may not always like what you find, however, the most important thing is that you do the work to remove the layers because only once you know what is really there can you create what you really want. Once you know the true state of your base you have a point to plan for … the potential is then enormous.

Linda Anderson is a Certified Professional Coach dedicated to helping people live bold and rewarding lives. Linda has an energetic and direct style of coaching which suits people who like to be challenged. She currently works with clients in Australia, New Zealand, Philippines, South Korea, Japan and USA. Linda writes a free weekly e-newsletter called ‘a2a Inspirations’. Find out more about Linda: http://www.a2acoaching.com
Marlena Field, PCC, CPCC
· Reply

Monday, July 2, 2007 at 2:21 PM

Being a Coach

Who you are BEING as a coach is one of the greatest assets that you bring to your clients through the coaching relationship. You bring the true spirit of who you are: the essential, authentic, and unique aspects of you.

As a coach, you have the wonderful opportunity to share in another person’s life. Consider for a moment all of your coaching skills – the concepts, ideas and strategies that you have in your coaching toolkit. The integration of all of these is vitally important. Who you are as a coach, however, is what brings your work alive and allows you to be yourself and be with your clients in a way that is fulfilling for both of you. It is the difference between doing coaching vs. being a coach. When being is in place, then doing can occur in a more meaningful way. It’s more a question of:

• Who am I being while I am doing coaching?

As a coach, being with yourself and with another person involves being in the present moment: in the now. When you are in the now, your compassion, intuition, curiosity and imagination are more accessible to you. It brings you to your essence. Being in the now quiets your mind to be with all that is happening in the moment.

Few people have the experience of truly being heard. Fully listening to your coaching clients is a wonderful gift that you can offer them. As listening is a complex activity which involves paying attention at many levels at the same time, skillful listening takes practice. Being self-aware is the foundation for fully listening to another person.

Your way of being as a listener directly impacts your coaching clients and has the power to impact them positively or negatively. Your clients’ feeling of safety, their trust of self, their esteem and their potential for personal growth can be significantly affected by your level of good will, awareness and expertise as a listener.

Empowered listening is a way of being, a way of being fully present – body, mind and spirit. Empowered listening is being curious and paying attention to our clients without anything else interfering in the process. With empowered listening we will hear the essence of what is being said and find ourself whole-heartedly open to our intuition and creativity. We will be more present and receptive and be more natural, appropriate and creative with our responses.

The impact of empowered listening on our coaching clients is that they have the rare and cherished experience of being heard; they feel understood and accepted. It is clear that we care about them and this opens space for considerably more depth in their conversations. The person begins to speak from their past experiences, from their present moment experience and from their dreams for the future. They may begin to speak in more depth about things of which they were not previously aware. As they keep speaking they may become even more powerful in our presence and come to believe and trust that they indeed have their own answers.

Clients will feel safe when they realize that we can be trusted to respect them and see them as whole. Their trust in the connection with us allows for a deepening and strengthening of the coaching alliance. They will begin to connect more and more with their inner strength and resources. They will connect with the source of their inspiration, creativity and personal success. This experience can open the door into some insights of their offering to the world: their calling.

Marlena Field, PCC, CPCC
http://www.BodyMindSpiritCoaching.com
*author of “Body-Centered Coaching: using the body as a resource for change”
*creator of 3 CDs – 215 minutes of live coaching demonstrations
250-851-0145
Lawrence Nelson
· Reply

Monday, July 2, 2007 at 10:40 AM

WHY I BECAME A LIFE COACH or WHAT MOTIVATES A MOTIVATOR?

`Life Coach`, `Lifestyle Guru`. Almost every time you open a newsaper, glossy magazine or watch a reality TV show this phrase always seems to come up, but what is a life coach and what motivates them to motivate us? As a professional Life Coach I am frequently asked why did I decide to become a Life Coach and what prompted me to specialise in working with clients with impaired vision?

Perhaps three years ago, or thereabout, I realised that through my working life to date there was a thread, a link of working with people, from retail management and running my own customer based business, advanced driving tuition, recruitment and training positions with National Companies to property sales. All of these situations involved meeting and working with a wide range of individuals, which I enjoy. What I also realised however was that within these various roles the element that I found most satisfaction from was training, being involved in the development of an individual from a new recruit to a point where they are contributing to the success of their company. As an added bonus I also noticed, during follow up sessions, that people I had worked with had become more confident as they had acquired new skills within their company.

Some years earlier I had suddenly, and without warning, become partially sighted. My wife and I have always been positive people and, over the next couple of years we gradually overcame most of the challenges and restrictions that this new situation presented. This was also an interesting period of exploring my inner resources, deciding who I was in my changed world and what I was going to make of it. It was during the reflective period that I first heard about Life Coaching and felt as if a light had been turned on. This could be the ideal culmination of my working life as it involved working with people but on a more individual, personal level. After qualifying as a coach I practiced generally for a while before deciding to specialise in working with newly partially sighted or blind individuals. Having observed the effects of this potentially traumatic event myself it seemed logical to combine this experience and my earlier working life with my coaching skills.

What I have had first hand experience of, and have certainly noticed in other visually impaired people is a `stillness` or inner calm which is absent from the majority of the fully sighted population. If all of the faculties are available then they are generally taken for granted and, in most cases are underused. If you don’t hear a car pass by because you are talking to someone you will still realise its existence because you will see it. Reduce or remove a faculty however and you learn to compensate for the loss by tuning the other senses more effectively. I think it was the author Conan Doyle who had Sherlock Holmes say something to the effect that
”People look, but they do not see.” You only realise how true this is when you can no longer see. A similar phrase could be “we hear but do not listen” which is particularly relevant in life coaching and vital when working with visual loss. A coach needs to develop what many people would describe as intuition but what in reality is a deeper understanding of what the client is feeling, or what may lie behind the sentiments expressed even if they themselves cannot articulate it immediately, to `not see the wood for the trees`.

A coach offers a clearing station for stifling processes, a sounding board for ideas and ambitions and unqualified support during change (if the client decides that change is required). Life in general, the workplace or even friends and relatives frequently encourage us to conform or to `fit in`, this can dull our sense of who we are and what we could possibly achieve, after all they often have their own agenda and views about what they think you are capable of whereas a coach does not.

This `intuition` is arrived at by effective listening, by not overlaying the coach’s own thoughts or emotions onto the client`s and must be done without putting words into the client’s mouth. Understanding such as this develops over a period with the client and there is a great deal of satisfaction in watching people grow as individuals and realise that they can change their lives if they wish to do so.

It has been my experience that loss of sight, partial or otherwise, engenders intense emotions probably not previously felt, or at least not to the same degree. These emotions can range from self-pity to envy of fully sighted people (or `viewers` as I call them) and from great pent up anger at the feelings of being useless to a wonderful spirit of determination to overcome the situation. Through all of these emotions however seems to be differing levels of fear, depending upon which emotion is being experienced. Fear is often considered to be negative but can also be positive. I have become an advocate of fear as a positive emotion to generate movement away from a limiting belief or situation as discussed in Susan Jeffers book `Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway`.

Hearing what clients are saying, or perhaps not saying, as opposed to just listening to the voice will reveal what is really being felt and therefore holding the client back. Concise questioning will encourage the client to recognise the fears for themselves and act accordingly. Loss of vision, after a period of adjustment, often means that we realise that the car is there, to use my earlier example, before the `viewers` do. With this example in mind people with sight loss will often be more effective than `viewers` in positions where listening is essential because there are no visual distractions on the other side of the office or out of the window. There is a rich resource being lost to employers because of either a lack of imagination or the perceived difficulties caused by the presence of someone who cannot see in an office environment.

As a group there are probably more blind or visually impaired people in the UK than other `disabled` (a phrase that I dislike as it is limiting in the mind of the user and has become patronising due to overuse) sections of society. As a group we are also open to discrimination or are challenged in many ways that viewers are not. Low lighting in hotels or the workplace, street furniture, advertising boards and vehicles carelessly parked on pavements are but a few examples. This discrimination can be deliberate, unconscious or simply caused by lack of thought.

In an attempt to highlight the challenges faced by loss of sight I am researching a book about the position of visually impaired people in today’s society. If you are blind or partially sighted, or know someone who is and are willing for your comments to be quoted I would love to hear from you. I’m keen to discuss the following areas.

How did you lose your vision e.g. through illness or accident?

How do you feel about losing your sight e.g angry, resigned, depressed?

How have you been received or treated by society?

Do you feel that you have been treated unfairly by employers, the service industry or in any other area?

If you could change just one thing in any of these situations what would it be and how would you change it?

To preserve anonymity any replies that are directly quoted will be abbreviated e.g. DS from Kent. If you wish to contribute
and someone is able to type for you then please forward replies by e-mail marked `Lawrence Nelson book research` to lawrenceateye2eye@telco4u.net. I am investigating alternative ways to make contact for those unable to write or type. It will be assumed that any item submitted is available for publishing without recompense or any restriction. When the book is published the proceeds will be used to offer subsidised coaching to newly blind or visually-impaired clients. Thank you in advance for any contributions.

If you live outside of the UK and are reading this or hear about it I would still be interested in your views as the challenges that we face are universal.

For further information about life coaching by telephone, e-mail or seminar please contact Lawrence by e-mail as above
or on (UK) 016974 75448.
yvette ryan
· Reply

Monday, July 2, 2007 at 7:53 AM

I am writing this because I am interested in speaking with you about what I’ve learned for sure in life.

Being a counsellor & therapist I have found out that the fastest way to healing is through awareness and action. Life is meant to be fun. It’s not supposed to be an uphill survival exercise. What we bring to the table i.e. our perspectives, baggage etc, colours how we view life situations and people. What would it be like to approach every situation from an open and light perspective? No more barely getting through or defensively trying to protect what’s yours.

Our perspectives, our thinking make life a dream or a living hell. That’s one of the biggest secrets I’ve learned. How you treat yourself and allow others to treat you is pretty much determined by your self worth. Self worth is a choice.

We are constantly talking to ourselves internally. The tape is always on Go and Record. Do you notice how we repeat the same thoughts time and again. Since we are telling ourselves stories about everything little thing and every big thing, we might as well tell ourselves something that is empowering rather than harmful.
So, do you know how to be happy and how to get what you really want out of life. Well, try this formula on for size.

(1) Define your goals. What do you really really want?

(2) Take action. If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got. Be prepared to take new action.

(3) Celebrate. Clarity is power. When you know what you want and how to get there you’re half way there already.

Here’s how you do it.

Defining your goals
Ask yourself these questions and write down the first answer you come up with.

(1) If you could wave a magic wand and be everything you ever wanted and have everything you’ve ever wanted, what would your life look like?

(2) What could you do to achieve that if you knew for sure you would not fail?

(3) What’s the one thing you’d love to do before you die?

(4) For your life to be perfect, what would have to change?

(5) Name one change you could make to your lifestyle that would give you more peace.

(6) What would be the biggest benefit from achieving your goal(s)?

Take action
Taking one goal at a time

(1) What’s the first/next step you can take.

(2) What can you do to find out more about what you want and need to do. (Who’s already doing it)

(3) What three actions could you take this week that would make sense this week?

(4) What will happen (what is the cost) of you NOT doing anything about this

Final piece of the puzzle Celebrate!!!!
It takes courage to do things differently in your life. How would you know you were giving yourself a clap on the back.

(1) Eg. A big night out, pampering, shopping, a day out golfing, fishing etc. However you celebrate in your life.

(2) Tell someone what you did, what it took for you to do it and how you feel now. Do it, celebrate and more of what you want will come in. The bigger you do this the bigger your achievements will become.

(3) Remember, life is about fun. Be creative.

When you do this from a place of empowerment, magic happens. My definition of empowerment is “aligning ones inner essence with informed action, through choice, with universal energy”. What this means is that when you are connected to your real self, and align this with strategies (informed action) and universal help (energy) you cannot fail. You are operating from a powerful space and it is from this place that living an inspired and full life is possible

You can Email me at activeempowerment.com. I would love to hear how you got on and what actions you are now taking towards your dream life.

Kind regards
Yvette
Simon Bozeat
· Reply

Monday, July 2, 2007 at 2:18 AM

The case for investing in a ‘Guerrilla’ Business Coach

This article is for you if you have not yet invested in a business coach but have a healthy curiosity about the subject and would like to know more. It covers the business and personal reasons why individuals and organisations invest in coaching, some common myths, why people resist investing in a coach, what Guerrilla Coaching is, why it is different and how it works, what to look for when hiring an external agency to deliver one-to-one coaching and finally the answer to ‘what’s in it for you?’ if you decide to invest in a Guerrilla Coach.

Why coaching?

It is clear that professional coaching has and will continue to become a vital part of corporate life. All the major corporations we know have already used, or are investigating the use of, coaching as a pivotal ingredient of their approach to performance management.

You are in good company; 3M, Barclays, Boots, British Telecommunications, Dupont, Deloitte, Ernst & Young, Eversheds, HBOS, Kellogg’s, Kodak, Shoosmiths, St James’s Place, Tenon, PWC and Unilever amongst countless other micro, SME and blue-chip organisations are training their managers to coach and/or investing in external coaches for some or all of their senior people.

*****

These are the most common reasons:

• A rapidly evolving business environment
• Wanting people to take individual responsibility for their development
• The financial cost of poor performance
• A popular development mechanism
• A popular feature of a modern organisation
• Coaching supports other learning and development activities
• Employees are demanding different delivery mechanisms
• The need for lifelong development
• Improve decision making by senior executives
• Targeted ‘just-in-time’ development
• Short, timely and focused coaching discussions

In an extensive survey conducted by the Chartered Institute of Personnel and Development (CIPD) in 2005 the following statistics were revealed:

Reasons why firms invest in coaching (in descending order of importance):

1. Improving individual performance (78%)
2. Dealing with under-performance (30%)
3. Improving productivity (28%)
4. Career planning/personal development (27%)
5. Growing future senior staff (26%)
6. Fostering a climate of continuous learning (<25%)
7. Motivating staff (<25%)
8. Accelerating organisational change (<25%)
9. Demonstrating the organisation’s commitment to staff (<25%)
10. Improving staff retention (<25%)
11. Reducing the cost of sending staff on external courses (<25%)
12. Helping foster a better home/work balance (<25%)
13. Satisfying a demand for coaching from employees (<25%)

*****

The survey also stated the following:

· 84% of respondents reported that coaching by line managers was either effective or very effective.
· 92% of respondents reported that coaching by external practitioners was either effective or very effective.
· 74% of respondents reported that there will be an increase in coaching by managers in the next few years (25% said it will stay the same).
· 36% of respondents reported that there will be an increase in coaching by external practitioners in the next few years (51% said it will stay the same).

*****

In another survey by the International Personnel Management Association (IPMA) they reported a 22% improvement in productivity through training. This rose to 88% when the training was combined with structured coaching.

These are the business reasons for investing in coaching but what about you? Coaching is often an intimate and very personal affair.

It is a natural instinct to want as much as you can from this precious thing called life. All of us are natural dream machines full of hopes and aspirations for the future. Yet many of us are afraid to reach out and take the action necessary to bring these dreams into reality. Often we become constrained and held back by our fears, unhelpful emotions, self-doubts, limiting beliefs and a lack of a clear focus on what we want. Many of us have an extremely busy life yet we feel unfulfilled, frustrated and dissatisfied. Living a life that is out of balance causes, what many call, stress.

Most of us are brought up to believe that it is right to tackle difficult situations on our own; it is part of being ‘grown up.’ Yet for many there is a price to be paid. We can often lead a seemingly successful life without finding the time to truly enjoy the fruits of our labour. Struggling along alone unchecked for long periods can lead to many forms of physical, mental and relationship difficulties.

Our observations from countless coaching discussions with our own clients also reveal that many people have one or more ‘blind spots.’ These are unhelpful habits, traits or emotions apparent to their colleagues but not to the individual.

Sometimes people unconsciously live in a state of denial, which over time, if left unchecked, can have unwanted potential career-limiting consequences. Unfortunately denial often sends unhelpful messages to colleagues; e.g. “It’s everyone else that has the problem and not me.”

*****

‘When you are part of an organisation, your primary objective and focus should be on helping all the people who work for you to get out of this business, or this game, or this life, what they desire. To me, that’s essential. You have to take the focus off yourself.’

Pat Riley – Basketball Coach

Some comments from some of our clients that prompted them to work with us illustrate their frustrations:

“I’m too busy being busy.”

“I used to be a very high earner but somewhere along the way I lost it.”

“I’m being told that there is something about me that I need to change but, to be honest, I can’t see what the fuss is all about or why my changing would make any difference.”

“I work hard, I work long hours, I easily earn enough yet there is something missing.”

“I know what I want to do but there is something holding me back.”

“I give so much to my work but I know my relationships with the important people in my life are suffering.”

“My time at work vs home is unhealthy.”

“My success has opened many doors for me that others suggest I should walk through, however I sometimes think I should take greater control over my destiny.”

“I enjoy a challenge but sometimes I feel overwhelmed and quite honestly I would feel very uncomfortable telling anyone I know especially at this office.”

“I am under enormous pressure to perform but I am struggling to juggle my priorities.”

The interesting observation from these comments is that they are not just confined to certain types of people, we hear them all the time from the front line to the board. We all have challenges and go through periods of uncertainty and overload where the opportunity to talk things through in a rational, confidential and sensitive manner is necessary not just to maintain and increase performance but also to keep healthy and sane!

What is Guerrilla Coaching?

Quite simply it is a one-to-one confidential relationship between a coach and ‘coachee’ who liaise regularly either face-to-face, on the phone or in writing (often via e-mail). The sole purpose of these conversations is to enable/cause the coachee to do whatever is necessary to get the business results that (s)he wants and the business demands in as short a timescale as possible.

‘Guerrilla Coaching’ is the term used by Bozeat Coaching to describe our unique approach. The coaching profession has yet to mature and there are literally thousands of people who profess to be coaches. Life coaching, holistic coaching, career coaching, executive coaching, therapeutic coaching are just some of the many terms used. Some coaches are excellent but many delude themselves that because they have read a book, or attended a one-day training course on the subject, they are suddenly an expert coach!

The approach taken by our Guerrilla Coaches is straightforward and based on the following principles:

· Coaching little and often: as an example sometimes we coach just a few minutes on the phone each morning before work starts and again at the end of the day
· Focus on the objectives that will deliver the greatest outcome (20/80)
· Maintain a business and commercial focus
· Work with an individual’s behaviours and mindset (values and beliefs)
· Quickly cut through personal interference to address any issues preventing action
· Work at pace to create the motivation and momentum for sustained change
· Being empathic and challenging
· Using, whenever necessary, unorthodox techniques to achieve a desired outcome
· Being flexible and doing whatever is necessary to achieve the result
· Delivering sustainable solutions
· Knowing that successful coaches themselves receive intense coaching
· Having fun!

“A Guerrilla Coach is someone who has an ongoing, committed partnership with a player or performer and does whatever it takes to inspire that person, or team, to empower themselves and shine. The consequence is a dramatic and sustainable improvement in levels of play or performance.”

Simon Bozeat
Lead business Guerrilla Coach – Bozeat Consulting

Why invest in a Guerrilla Business Coach?

Because everyone in the business world who has risen to the top has had many of them! Nobody achieves success without surrounding themselves with a support network of talented and inspirational people. A business coach becomes part of that support network and indeed often helps the coachee create their own if they have not built one already. In this way coachees become secure in the knowledge that they have the right combination of people that will inspire, support and challenge them to do whatever is necessary to continually step out of their comfort zones and achieve success.

*****

Here are just some of the reasons our clients make the decision to invest in a coach, they:

· derive little or no value from training courses or they enjoy attending training courses but fail to follow through and turn the skills learned into habits
· know they should be following through on taking action that will stretch them but have convinced themselves that there are other ‘more important’ ways to spend their time. In other words they need a ‘gentle yet firm push’
· are very busy people who need regular short injections of inspiration and techniques
· need to rediscover the skills and habits that helped them succeed in the past
· have some significant business goals to achieve in the future that will require a significant departure from the known
· are uncharacteristically performing at a level below the norm and either don’t know why or do know why but cannot find a way through their ‘personal interference’ i.e. negative thoughts that prevent action
· are a peak performer and want the right techniques presented to them at the right time to give them the extra edge
· are curious to know what makes them and the people around them tick
· know they have character habits, traits and emotions that, at times, support them in achieving their goals and others that prevent them. Although they may know what the inhibitors and self-sabotaging habits are, they do not know what to do about them.

What Guerrilla Coaching isn’t

Over the many years we have worked with countless executives and professionals we have heard all manner of beliefs about the profession and methods of coaching. Some are true; others are plainly unhelpful.

Here are five of the most common myths:

1. “Coaching is just another perk”

This can be a dangerously subjective judgment. Coaching will not work unless the participant is 100% committed to their own growth. It is not uncommon for ambitious and driven people to push themselves too far. Whilst with a coach you have to be honest with yourself. To be able to raise your own potential you must put your whole self back into your work and personal life. This for many will be a tremendous challenge but the payoffs can be extraordinary.

2. “Coaching is easy/a jolly”

Great coaches help people to become the best they can be and that involves the coachee stretching themselves which requires effort, dedication and above all, persistence. A simple analogy for spending time with a Guerrilla Coach is becoming a master musician.
Here is what you would probably do if you chose to learn an instrument (if you haven’t done so already):

· You would find the best teacher available in the area and would start taking lessons.
· You would practise like mad! – all the time – as many hours per day as your life would allow.
· You would join a band or group so you could play with your peers.
· You would read anything you could get your hands on about techniques and stories about great masters.
· You would go to as many concerts as you could to observe and listen to players practising the craft.
· You would take your fellow player friends along so you could talk together about what you heard.
· As soon as you were good enough you would play for friends, family and colleagues.
· Finally, you would play in recitals and concerts and get feedback on your playing from educated players.

This is how a Guerrilla Coach will operate with you to ensure you master whatever it is you need to get the results you want and your business demands.

3. “The best coaches are those who have been to the top”

Not necessarily but it can obviously help with credibility. There are countless people who have risen to the top but never made it as a great coach. The world of business and sport is littered with failed managers and leaders. The difference is this, when becoming a top player the focus is on yourself, the focus of a top-performing coach is on the coachee. When a Bozeat Consulting Guerrilla Coach looks into the eye of a client our mindset is simply this: “I know there is a vast reservoir of untapped potential in you. It is my job to search for it and do whatever it takes to cause you to unleash it.”

4. “Coaching is just having someone listen to you”

Yes a Guerrilla Coach will give you a ‘damn good listening to!’ but there is so much more to it than that. There are a host of techniques that are deployed in a timely and sensitive way to inspire you to do whatever needs to be done. All our coaches are trained in NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming), psychometric and 360 degree assessment tools. These techniques, many of which have been popularised by the likes of Darren Brown and Paul McKenna, are proven to deliver extraordinary results in a fraction of the time traditional methods take.

5. “Coaching discussions are just pink and fluffy”

We used to hear this all the time but have yet to understand exactly what people mean by it. People use expressions like ‘pink and fluffy,’ ‘hugging trees’ and ‘soft skills’ to dismiss coaching and personal skills training as if it is either mumbo jumbo or not worth bothering with.

This is a terribly damaging belief and thankfully now confined to the minority of people who have either no idea of what coaching entails, have heard some negative comments about coaching from their colleagues or down the pub or may have had a bad previous experience with an inexperienced/poor coach.

Anyone who has worked with a great coach will tell you that they are exactly the opposite. Guerrilla coaching discussions are focused, challenging, timely and first and foremost about delivering results.

The most common reasons why people resist working with a professional coach

It can be a combination of many factors illustrated by the following comments:

‘I have to do this on my own’

This is not an uncommon belief that people share. The internal dialogue of ‘I have to prove myself’ is common but in the majority of cases particularly unhelpful, especially if the ‘Lone Ranger’ method continues not to deliver results. Consider why it is that the largest and most successful corporations hire consultants. Should Tiger Woods or any other sports star be able to do it on their own?

‘I can’t afford it’

Hiring a coach is a significant step to take for many people and the case for investing in one must be made. It is only worthwhile if it produces solid results. There is only one way to know whether it is right for you and that is to give it a go! People only truly believe in something when they have had direct experience of it. Consider having a trial period of just 30 days. You will know then if it is right for you.

‘My weaknesses will be exposed’

Inevitably a confidential conversation with a Guerrilla Coach will uncover what you want, what you have now that will help you and what it is that is preventing you from reaching your goals. Sometimes the conversations are uncomfortable and so they should be! If facing up to ‘blind spots’ and doing something about them is something that you fear, then that is an even bigger reason why you should invest in a Guerrilla Coach!

‘I don’t know if I will get on with my coach’

Absolutely right, the chemistry must be right as a professional coaching relationship is
often intense and intimate. It is worthwhile checking out a coach’s credibility and results through people who have used him before. At the end of the day a trial period of 30 days will be the only true test to see if the relationship will deliver what you want.

How Guerrilla Coaching works

Having made the decision to accelerate the fulfilment of your aspirations you will meet your designated coach. After an initial exploration of your current situation, challenges and priorities a series of short-term goals will be agreed along with an initial plan of how they are to be attained. This first meeting may well include your manager who will no doubt have a clear idea of what business-related goals he wishes you to achieve and where your strengths and areas for development lie.

The coach uses searching questions to draw out your aspirations, goals and any existing or potential real and perceived barriers to success.

The coach will also use a combination of techniques to allow you to form your own plan of action whilst testing both your levels of self-belief and motivation plus if what you are setting out to achieve is congruent with who you are as person. This is essential to ensure the agreed actions are followed through.

Towards the conclusion of the initial meeting you and the coach will agree the frequency and duration of future meetings/contact (face-to-face, telephone and written). A typical coaching relationship will last between 3 months and a year.

The following diagram illustrates a typical coaching programme:

What will be the nature of the discussion with my coach?

Whatever you want and is needed to deliver results. All of our coaches are skilled and have a wealth of experience in specific subjects:

· Increasing sales and profits
· Opening more doors to potential clients i.e. turning cold calls warm
· Creating a network of powerful and influential people
· Customer service
· Leading a sales team
· Building a work team
· Developing business strategy
· Overcoming personal interference and ‘creating a success mindset’
· Influencing and persuading colleagues, suppliers and customers
· Understanding self and others
· Significantly accelerating the pace of change
· Leading a change project/organisation transformation
· Improving career prospects e.g. preparing for interviews, writing CVs etc
· Preparing for an important speech or presentation
· Creating a balanced and healthy work/home life.

5 qualities to look for when hiring an external business coach

Credibility

Ensure they have a track record both in achieving results themselves and coaching others to succeed. Ensure they walk-the-talk and have their own coaches. Beware over-relying on the coach having industry/sector experience; coaching is easily transferable as many of the challenges people face are how they relate to themselves and the people around them.

Rigour and flexibility

Good coaches will have a proven approach which they know will deliver results. They must be also willing to adapt their approach to suit the needs of your business and the individual without compromising the integrity of the coaching process.

5 qualities to look for… continued:

Personal chemistry

If possible arrange an informal meeting with the people who will be participating in the coaching and the coach(es) to ensure they ‘connect.’

Exceptional at listening and deploying proven coaching techniques

Listening is a core skill of any successful coach, test this out when you first meet them and also examine how they would approach specific coaching related challenges. Beware coaches who simply want to lecture you how to do things just because it worked for them.

Being ‘off the wall’ and having a sense of fun!

The best coaches are engaging and willing to do whatever it takes to cause their coachees to take action. Look for people who regularly go the extra mile and who are not afraid of doing something different. The best coaches openly express their enjoyment at doing what they love to do with a smile on their face!

What if you invest in a Guerrilla Coach?

Congratulations, a great step forward! If you have been involved with an executive coach before then you will know what to expect. If not then prepare for an inspirational, challenging and fun ride. We make only one promise.

‘If you are ready to take yourself to the next level of performance and success we will help you get there faster than if you make the journey on your own.’

What if you don’t invest in a Guerrilla Coach?

Nothing will happen other than you will continue to ‘do what you’ve always done and get what you always got’ and operating as a Lone Ranger with the support of your manager and colleagues might be just right for you, or it might not….

Next Steps

For further details and a confidential, no-obligation discussion please contact us now.

Simon Bozeat
Lead Business ‘Guerrilla’ Coach

Office: 01530 271272
Fax: 0870 9124326
Mobile: 07989 673095
E-mail: info@bozeatconsulting.co.uk
Web: http://www.bozeatconsulting.co.uk

P.S. It may be of interest to you to know what differentiates Bozeat Consulting from our competitors:

Here are three reasons:

· We guarantee you business results
· We deliver results faster than the majority of people believe is possible
· All our consultants ‘walk-the-walk’ whereas many of our competitors talk other people’s walk

However when you get to know us you will realise it is our systematic and rigorous approach that sets us apart from the competition. On the following page I have summarised our 4 ‘LITE’ steps to success.

The 4 LITE steps to business success through people

When we have the privilege to work with an individual, team or entire organisation we follow these 4 steps. We have proved that this is the only way to deliver sustained business success through the development of people.

Step Which means…
Listen Understanding at a deep and fundamental level the heritage, frustrations and aspirations of people. Many of our competitors dive straight into an approach which is something like – ‘here’s a programme, it will be good for you’. We know from experience that 80% of development programmes simply don’t deliver. To really engage people we take an appropriate length of time to give everyone a ‘damn good listening to!’
Inspire People learn best when they are genuinely excited and have a hunger for the subject. Sometimes simply listening is enough to inspire people but it may be that the Guerrilla Coach will need to demonstrate, in a powerful way, the value the development journey will deliver and the opportunity they will miss if they choose not to accept the invitation to be taken to a higher level of performance.
Training in techniques Once people are inspired, excited and ready to learn then their thirst for new skills and knowledge is quenched via a deliver a dynamic, timely and relevant training and coaching experience. We only train our clients to use techniques that we use ourselves, ones proven to consistently deliver outstanding performance and results.
Embed I have lost count of the number of people who reply, when asked; ‘so what value have you derived from ‘x’ training programme?’ with ‘it’s too soon to tell’ or ‘i’m too busy doing real work’ or worse still ‘there is no point training me it’s my boss (or colleagues) that need this’. Where we differ is not leaving learning to chance. Processes and systems are introduced in parallel with the development experience to ensure people’s great intentions are realised and skills that were once new swiftly become powerful habits.
claire dickson
· Reply

Sunday, July 1, 2007 at 1:17 PM

1. article one – Career Transition: Expatriation: Self coaching

A journey of 100 miles…by Claire Dickson

Sitting in the room at the IWAP (international women’s association, Prague) meeting and hearing the Chairwomen comment about there being so many women with extraordinary resources, experience and impact sat together in the same room, really struck a chord. Indeed it was Nelson Mandela who challenged that people playing “small” robs us and others of what we are truly capable of. Call it synchronicity but on the way home I saw an advert, saying “every day women change the world”.

When you move to a new country as the accompanying spouse, (most often the woman) you have so many roles to play – be it wife, mother, career women, sister, or daughter. All these roles are easily impacted by the move. Interestingly, The Global relocation trend survey (2002) reports that 50% of accompanying spouses were employed before moving abroad and during the assignment the number dropped to 14%. That’s a lot of people making a transition to not just to a new place and new cultures but also probably to taking up a new life role. I know myself that after 20 years in the corporate world, moving to Prague without a job, inheriting a dog and taking on my new role as the family glue, I was both an excited and less than intrepid explorer in the new space I found myself in.

Like many transitions in life – from childhood to adulthood or from being single to getting married, from womanhood to menopause it’s a chance to reassess where you are heading and to ask oneself, “who am I”? The difference being that at these stages of our lives we often look to family and close friends for the support we need to help us through. Within your previously known culture and local environment such support might have been easier to find.

Moving to a new country is a double transition! It can challenge our basic values, assumptions, life balances and the way we think about ourselves and others. Not only do we have all the normal transitions which life throws at us, but we have to make a transition to a new country and all that it involves. We need to be constantly flexible, if necessary, re-inventing ourselves, according to life stage and the location. Both you and the new people you meet are asking “who are you?” I found myself not being able to say anymore “I am a job title”, which had been so convenient for the last 20 years. Instead I became a dog walker – whatever the weather, a net worker – now that I had all this time, searching for what I wanted to do and hopefully a better mum. (The better wife bit was a step too far!). Luckily for me when I went on my voyage of discovery I had a lot of the tools as my previous job roles had involved helping others make transitions in the corporate world.

All that time walking the dog, got me thinking. What if you wanted this challenge of coming to a new country to enable you to explore a new side of ‘you’? What if you had been in a country a long time or had moved repeatedly and wanted to take time out to think about “what else?” Who would be there to help you figure this out and think about the impact?

Sometimes our lives are so filled with domesticity, routines and other clutter that it can be hard to listen to what our hearts desire. Sometimes it seems impossible to even find 10 seconds to make the commitment needed to set about any change, let alone the life change you want. The good news is that it’s never too late to think about living the life you really want, whichever country you may be in or whatever stage you are at.

So, let me share with you about some of the other lands I took the chance to explore as a result of our move to Prague. Exploring these lands helped me start to realise my full potential here and I am still journeying in my own way and revisiting these lands from time to time. Sometimes navigating my way there, the water is warm and welcoming; sometimes it’s freezing cold! As the Chinese proverb states – “a journey of a 100 miles, starts with one small step!”

The land of Positive Realisation – navigating our way there means having to look at what’s important to us? We can start by thinking about what we are good at, what we really enjoy doing and what comes easy to us. Essentially, it’s about identifying those situations where we feel good and at our best, wherever life’s journey takes us!

The land of Discovery – navigating your way here requires us to look forward not backward. Often we don’t get what we want because we are not clear. This land focuses on identifying realistic, clear and freeing goals to achieve what we really want to do, whether this is a career, a hobby, a study course, making a contribution to society or making new friends. It’s about what do I want, why do I want to do it and by when?

The land of Confrontation – navigating your way there means confronting what is stopping us from doing something and being honest about what area of our life plan has fallen off course? What is being tolerated? What needs to be present and what needs to be absent from our life? What will recharge our batteries?

The land of Opportunity – navigating your way there means being able to recognise opportunities and being able to decide whether to take them or not. However, just being clear on what we want is not enough, we need to be motivated, believe it is possible and have a plan! Here, we look at what are we willing to do today to move things forward? ” Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but the moments that take our breath away”!

I have always been motivated in my “old” and “new” life to helping people get out of life what they really want, to build their confidence and share the life-changing skills that can be used wherever the next adventure takes you. Sometimes getting to visit these new lands is difficult or maybe we don’t even know how to start the journey or find the time.

So let’s come full circle to that room in the Intercontinental Hotel, full of talented women each on their own journey. We are all changing the world each day. We are more effective at this, whatever it is we are doing, if we feel it’s what we want to be doing. I’d be delighted to share my insights, setbacks and humorous anecdotes on my exploration of these new lands and also some great walks to do with dogs! Happy exploring……..!!!

Claire Dickson is an executive and career transition coach and leadership trainer; she also runs self development workshops as part of her business, HR Solutions a Prague based consultancy. If you are interested in finding out more, contact her on info@hrsolutions.cz (www.hrsolutions.cz) . Reprinted with Permission

2. article 2 – coaching, as a tool for performance..by Claire Dickson

I have been running a lot of leadership development programmes recently. I always start with discussing the external business context for leadership, to help people understand what change is likely and how to start anticipating and preparing for these changes. Businesses today are experiencing massive, relentless change in ever increasingly competitive markets. Can you think of a European product that does not have an American or Asian competitor?

Analysts think that despite this,that the future will challenge businesses to go beyond both current and predictable levels of performance and productivity. To meet this challenge, if an organization is to survive and thrive, it must learn to change and adapt with the market. Change and growth are not achieved by strategies, but by people who make strategy happen. This means there is going to be constant demand for people to adapt and to learn new things, often speedily.

As part of these leadership programmes which i run, we talk a lot about using coaching for developing performance. We know that nowadays, leaders do not have the time or capacity to control everything and everyone anymore, especially those working in matrix organizations. Many Leaders realise that to be successful, the additional skills needed are to be able to delegate, to create a culture of responsibility and self-generated actions. This is where the interest in coaching starts. Coaching is now recognized as a tool to help facilitate organizational change and support learning and development initiatives. In a recent UK survey by the Institute of Personnel and Development, nearly nine out 10 firms expect their managers to deliver coaching as part of their day-to-day work. This trend is mirrored in other countries. Unfortunately, just because there is an expectation for coaching, it doesn’t mean we’ve developed the new skills required to “coach” successfully. Talk to the people working in many of today’s organisations to get their feedback!

Coaching is about working with people to show them new possibilities, help them see options and take actions previously not obvious to them. Coaching is the capability to alter or shift thinking and confidence and re look at the context within which people normally operate. What we do know is that good coaching skills can make the difference between getting performance and getting excellence out of ourselves and our team. There are now numerous pieces of research that can demonstrate a return on investment. Just try searching for this on Google!

But, what are the real basics we need to know and do?

1. Clear outcomes! Knowing the outcomes for the session or end result, gives a clear goal. Often people talk about wanting to improve their influencing skills. A good coach will help narrow down what is the root cause of the problem and help the individual figure out how to move forward. Vague goals like influencing, mean we rarely arrive at the right end point. Often when I start working with a client, this part takes time. People often clarify their thinking as apart of the discussion.

2. Good Listening and Good questions! Don’t think for the individual but with them. Listen and question for the head (facts, content), the heart(emotions, body language) and the feet (motivation).

3. Assess the current reality. Many recent studies have shown that “Technical Skills” (e.g. knowledge and functional skills built over time) only represent 20% of the input into our performance. The remaining 80% which affects our performance comes from our “Personal Skills” (e.g. Behavioural aspects, such as Decisiveness, Assertiveness, Emotional stability, Enthusiasm, Open-mindedness, Self-confidence or Drive etc).

Few of us understand just how deep rooted our own behaviour patterns are, let alone how to positively change them in other people. A start in the right direction are the key skills to observe, challenge and determine the performer’s needs in these behavioural areas: knowledge of what to do, how to put into practice, willingness and confidence to overcome any barriers limiting performance, all need to be looked at.

We coach to build skills, challenge assumptions, share ideas and share tools to drive performance.

4. Measure and evaluate the result, based on the original goal. There needs to be follow up to encourage continuous improvement and also try to end every interaction with a “win”. Coaching at the end of the day is about action, building belief and skills and regular review. To retain the brightest and the best we need to build the ability to develop people, evoke performance excellence and create a culture of continuous learning.

Finally, a concluding thought according to the NASA agency : –
“In every field of human endeavour where performance is key, coaching is integral to helping shift an individual’s mindset, approach, and behaviours to ensure more effective action and greater business success. It’s all about the company and employee strengthening and growing.”

Claire Dickson is an executive and career transition coach and leadership trainer; she also runs self development workshops as part of her business HR Solutions, a Prague based consultancy. If you are interested in finding out more, contact her on info@hrsolutions.cz (www.hrsolutions.cz) . Reprinted with Permission
claire dickson
· Reply

Sunday, July 1, 2007 at 1:04 PM

how do you get the articles onto the solution box – re email, submit life caoching articles
Katie
· Reply

Sunday, July 1, 2007 at 11:21 AM

Business Coaching for Comunication: The Hidden Messages You Send
By Katie Schwartz, CCC-SLP

Have you ever heard someone say, “It’s fine!” but with an angry tone that belies the words? Or maybe someone screamed at you, “I am NOT angry!” You instinctively ignored the words and believed the rest of the cues.

Communication is only 7% verbal, and 93% non-verbal. The verbal part is WHAT you say, or the words you choose. The non-verbal part is everything else: your tone of voice, gestures, posture, facial expressions, rate of speech, accent, general diction, organization of your message, and timing of it. As a business coach, you need to be alert to both levels of communication – at the same time.

Let’s give some examples. Tom is to give a business presentation to older Baby Boomers. A Generation X member, he starts his sentences with “So” and includes phrases such as “you guys” The presentation is received very poorly, with the comment, “His company is not competent to do what we need accomplished.” Whether the company was competent technically was not the issue; Tom did not use the formal communication skills needed in this situation.

Marisa went to a networking event representing her company. An engineer, she hated these “meet and greet” situations. Marisa did not know how to make targeted small talk that could quickly ascertain whether the person she was speaking to was possibly right for her company. In addition, she used body language that indicated she wanted to be out of the situation: frequently looking elsewhere as the other person spoke, pointing her feet toward the door. The other people got the message, and Marisa’s company ended up with a poor image in the minds of those who spoke with her.

Pat had an idea of a new, cost-cutting process for his manager. He was very eager to tell the manager, but misread his manager’s reaction when Pat went into his office. The manager was scowling when Pat came in, sighed, and said, “Pat, can this wait until tomorrow?” Pat replied, “It will just take a second.” Then he proceeded to tell the manager in great detail about his plan.

Terri was a salesperson for a high-end product. Her manager told Terri to speak faster to potential customers, so they would stay and listen to the whole message. The manager was sure that when they heard the entire sales talk, the customers would buy. Terri worked hard to speak faster – but did not get a better response from her customers.
In fact, when Terri got professional coaching to learn to speak at a slower rate than she used initially, her sales rate jumped considerably. Now she had time to “read” her customers, and they had time to process what she was saying.

Verbal skills are important. Make sure you and your clients know the level of formality needed for a given presentation. For older Baby Boomers or Veterans, use correct grammar and clear pronunciation. For formal presentations to all age groups, do not use slang or wording such as “so” and “kinda”. Plan all sales presentations out in advance, and actually practice them. You only get one chance to make a first impression.
Learn the art of small talk. Open-ended questions such as “What brought you to this event or company?” encourage others to talk. Closed-ended questions such as “Are you from Division A or B?” exert control and reduce talkativeness. Closed-ended questions are best for starting a conversation with someone who is apt to be shy, or for talking with someone who chatters endlessly if allowed.

Consider your non-verbal skills as well. If there something about your body language, the distance you stand from others, your timing or tone of voice that is making ytour communication less effective?

To assess your own skills, visit http://www.businessspeechimprovement.com/sample.htm
for a free screening form.

Think about it: without clear communication of some type, there is no business. Your and your clients’ communication skills are crucial to success!

Bio:
Katie Schwartz, CCC-SLP, is director of Business Speech Improvement in Chattanooga, Tennessee. A certified speech pathologist, she has special expertise and experience in improving communication skills. Katie offers individual and group coaching, as well as e-books at her website, http://www.BusinessSpeechImprovement.com. She can be reached at info@BusinessSpeechImprovement.com.
Leanne Hoagland Smith
· Reply

Sunday, July 1, 2007 at 7:39 AM

Exceptional Business Coaches Turn Cold, Luke Warm to Very Warm Clients into Very Hot Performers
by Leanne Hoagland-Smith, M.S.

Are you considering hiring a business coach or executive coach? If so, congratulations provided you find the right one.

Simply speaking, exceptional business coaches open up the potential faucet. Years ago when Einstein was in his 70’s, he was asked how much of his potential he had used? Given that he had already developed the Theory of Relativity along with his other contributions to mathematics and physics, he replied “10%.”

Today, through the corporate coaching research provided by Fortune 500 to the testimonials from small business owners, the results that business coaches and executive coaches deliver continue to speak for themselves. For example, through the Manchester Consulting year long study from 2002 determined that coaching increased:

Productivity – 53%
Quality – 48%
Customer Service – 39%
Teamwork – 67%
Job Satisfaction – 61%
Working relationships with direct reports – 77%

So how can you find a business coach or executive coach that can deliver to you similar if not better results?

First, ask what type of process does the coach use? Can he or she simply explain the process to you and why it works? Exceptional coaches use a process that takes the inch by inch where progress is actively measured. If the coach can’t answer this question, stop and find another coach.

Then, interview several coaches. Ask for referrals. Then call the referrals.

Next, ask, if not one is offered, for a complimentary coaching session.

Also, you should check out the website for additional information.

Another action is to do a Google search on their name. Then click on the various links to read more.

Finally, learn if the business coach or executive coach offers some sort of guarantee.

Remember, the coach will determine where you are now and where you want to be. Through a proven process, an exceptional business coach or exceptional coach can take your cold to lukewarm current performance of 33 to 80 degrees and raise it to 180 to 211 degrees. Then with just a little more effort, you may even hit 212 degrees.

And we all know that the difference between very hot and boiling is just one degree. That one degree transforms boiling water into steam and steam powers engines.
Leanne Hoagland Smith
· Reply

Sunday, July 1, 2007 at 7:36 AM

Simply speaking, Business Coach Do You Resent Your Competitor & Does that Cost You Sales? by Leanne Hoagland-Smith, M.S.

Simply speaking, business coaching along with executive coaching and corporate coaching is a high demand and growing business. With the influx of all these coaches, some coaches are potentially resenting or fearing this increased competition. However, this could be bad for sales, please let me explain.

No one can be everything to everyone unless you are a Mom or a Dad. Business coaches may have certain expertise or a combination of expertise in the some of the following areas:

Assessments (individual and organizational
Business building
Change management
Communication
Customer service
Diversity
Goal setting
Executive leadership development
Leadership
Management
Marketing
Organizational development
Quality programs
Sales
Supervision
Strategic planning
Time management

This experience can be demonstrated within some of the following industries:

Agriculture
Automotive
Education
Government
Healthcare
Manufacturing
Not for profits
Pharmceuticals
Printing
Publishing such as newspapers and journals
Radio and television
Technology

No one coach can effectively address all of these issues within all of these industries because he or she will be perceived as a master of none. However, by partnering with another coach, the ability to expand experiences to bridge more issues and industries can be accomplished.

There is an old story that one horse can pull a 1,000 pounds of corn and the second horse can pull 1,000 pounds of corn. But when the two horses are hitched together, they can collectively pull 2,400 pounds of corn.

Using that same approach, one business coach can earn $50,000 and another can earn $50,000. Yet, if they partner together they may earn an additional $10,000 to $100,000 depending upon the project.

The lesson learned is to get to where you want to go demands that you do what you have never done before. Get out of your own way. Find another business coach who shares your same core values and delivers the same high quality results that you are known for. What are you waiting for?

If you like what you read, consider subscribing to Power Choices a unique monthly newsletter at http://www.processspecialist.com/power-choices.htm
Richard Lockyer
· Reply

Sunday, July 1, 2007 at 4:56 AM

“Give a man a fish and feed him for a day, teach a man to fish and feed him for life”
This ancient Chinese proverb is my mantra for my Business Coaching practice.
Before I became a coach I was working at senior management level in corporates and hated most of the time I was doing it. It was stressful as it felt like that we spent all our time trying to bang square pegs in to round holes.
So when I became a coach and started to think about my niche I eventually decided on business coaching but very specifically I only coach Business Owners and M.D.’s as to be successful it must start at the top.
I teach them tools and techniques that develop them and also gives them the ability to coach rather than manage their staff i.e. teach them to fish.
When you first go in to business coaching there is a tendency to assume that the MD is only interested in increasing sales and increasing profit, nothing wrong with that, but in reality their issues are normally derived from the fact that they need support overcoming staff issues, with new projects, their own life balance or in many cases they got in to the business because they were passionate about the subject but at a later date realise that they don’t have the business experience to get them to the next level.
It is incredibly satisfying to me when the work you do with them allows them to enjoy business and personal life far more because the weight is lifting form their shoulders, I have been there and I know how tough it can be.
Also MD’s and Business Owners can lead lonely lives at the top because they feel that they can’t confide in any one and as a business coach you fill that void.
As I coach I am lucky to have done a lot of serious development work on myself supported by some of the best mentors that you could wish for and when I start teaching my clients about goal setting, human needs, values, life purpose and limiting self beliefs you can really see the lights coming on as this way of thinking is totally new to them.
So if there are any Business Owners or Managing Directors out there who fancy coming on a fishing trip with me I would love to hear from you.
dynamic life coaching
· Reply

Sunday, July 1, 2007 at 1:56 AM

Hi
to what email address do I sendmy life coahcing article?
thnaks
irene becker
· Reply

Saturday, June 30, 2007 at 9:12 PM

A FREE CHAPTER FROM THE BOOK EXPLORING COACHING

SUCCESS COACHING by Irene Becker, Chief Success Officer, Just Coach It, http://www.justcoachit.com

History teaches us that the secret to success is a passion and purpose that transcends difficulty and obstacles. Literature gives us mythical heroes who have painted vivid pictures of success journeys that are fraught with purpose, obstacles and challenge. What can we learn about success from history, from life experience and from myth?

We can learn that success lies in our ability to access our personal talent, energy and to attain satisfaction and happiness. Success requires the courage and the honesty to unleash the awesome power of our natural talents and to illuminate the purpose that we were meant to fulfill. If you want to attain true success, you need, in Joseph Campbell’s words “to follow your bliss”.

While the orthodox definitions of success have changed as our society has evolved from agrarian, to industrial, to knowledge based, the heart of true success is a sense of personal satisfaction and accomplishment that is nourished and grows with purpose, vision and action.

What is Success Coaching Like?
Success coaching is a courageous adventure, a magical synergy between client and coach. It is a labor of love and acceptance that takes coach and client into a special place of purpose, passion and action. Excellent success coaching is far more than moving a client along a path of personal and professional strategies and accomplishment of goals. It is a co-collaboration of client and coach, an ongoing dialogue of non-judgment, acceptance and freedom which illuminates the client’s true brilliance and true purpose.

Success coaching is engaging, passionate purposeful work that allows you to see clients grow and gain in many different areas of their lives and careers. It touches all aspects of work and existence. It is a journey of courage, excitement and challenge that is full of twists and turns, of known and unknown. It is a reflection and expression of all that our client truly wants and needs to be.

As clients begin to flex their success muscles, to stretch out of the comfort zone, they move into a place that speaks loudly to who they truly are and what they truly want… magic happens. The magic starts when they begin to speak to translating their knowledge and truth into passion, vision and action. It requires that each part of our life, each dimension of our value system work in combination to great a successful, satisfactory whole.

What you need to be a Success Coach?

Excellent success coaching requires the right combination of education and life experience that has given the success coach a broad experience with personal success and also failure. You need to have achieved success and to have experienced failure in order to help a client reach his/her apex of personal and professional excellence and satisfaction. It requires individuals who are not only trained in coaching, but work with mind and heart aligned to excavate the true seedbed of a client’s success through a journey of trial, error and accomplishment.

Excellent success coaching requires that the coach remove his or her perspective of success in order to truly understand the perspective of the client. The success coach has to totally let go of his/her personal understanding of success in order to understand what success truly means to the client. It is only through honest, confidential, safe communication that we can move clients to a place of illumination, personal growth and potential that will allow them to fulfill their destiny of choice. To do so, coaches must understand that there is a special place where we let go of intellect and fuse with the special purpose of our client, to illuminate their personal and professional best, their success path. It is a dance of appreciation; a tango of acceptance and service that necessitates being able to change the tune, change the steps to meet the best purpose and passion of the client.

Success for our clients and for ourselves as success coaches is based on honestly accessing what gives and has meaning, relevance, passion and purpose for the client and in so doing to work hand in had to develop a greater personal understanding of purpose and passion and ways to translate them into effective, ongoing action and motivation.

Success coaching requires a particular ability to facilitate the client’s courage for self awareness, and his/her willingness to move past the intellectual in order to combine mind, body and soul in a path of positive transformation. Sometimes a client’s personal definition of success changes through coaching, other times clients may find that success was clearer and nearer to what they were doing than they anticipated. Some coaching sessions bring great revelation, others acceptance of the realization of patterns and actions that sabotage success.

Success coaching sessions are always alive with new possibilities and can evoke the best and the worst in clients as they move past their self imposed limitations and the expectations of others to a place of true passion, purpose and action. It requires the courage, commitment, confidentiality and mutual respect to move out of the comfort zone of the known in order to explore values, vision and mission.

It is the juncture of honest communication, awareness, passion and purpose. It is a place where the success coach can reach beyond the intellectual and the tangible to excavate and access the client’s power and purpose in order to develop new strategies and perspectives of full engagement, satisfaction and success.

The Market for Success Coaching

Success coaching is an investment in personal awareness and accomplishment that a client must have the financial latitude and the personal commitment to engage in. The market for success coaching is enormous, and will continue to expand as we face the reality of a rapidly changing work and personal world.

I have little doubt that in due course success coaching will in turn spawn off specific niches of success coaching that recognize different areas of focus.

Reality tells us that we will all continue to grapple with personal, professional and societal change, and that the forward motion, the velocity of change will challenge our ability to truly reach an honest point of self awareness in order to determine what we need want and must do to attain success can best be accomplished by the co-collaborative, co-creative energy that success coaching brings to the table.

The greatest most important business that any of us have is the business of our life, the realization of personal success and satisfaction.
Steven Bush, MSW
· Reply

Saturday, June 30, 2007 at 11:04 AM

Coaching the Adolescent Child: A Guide for Today’s Parent
By Steven Bush, MSW
CEO Family Compass, Inc

“Wow, that’s great,” followed by the universal facial grimace and head nod is the common response I receive when I tell people what I do. “I am a life coach for adolescent children and their families”, is my answer to their question, and then I am told a story about their child, their friend’s child, their coworker’s child, or their neighbor’s child. They look at me with sympathy as if I have been given a life sentence having to work with a population that most parents fear and many people choose not to become parents because of.

“How do you do it?” is typically the next question I am asked. The answer to this question is simple and complicated at the same time. The simple answer is I assess each individual client and family for strengths and areas that need improvement and then together we create a plan for success. My expectations for an adolescent client and myself as his or her coach, is no different than my expectations for any other adult client.

The complicated answer is that I thoroughly enjoy the adolescent population and I approach each client with: Honesty, Humility, the Willingness to Admit my Mistakes, A Memory of my Childhood, and Respect. Each of these is critical in order to build rapport with an adolescent child as a Life Coach or as a parent.

Honesty is a tricky subject when it comes to parents and their adolescent child. Many parents fear telling their children the truth because they want to maintain balance in their home and giving an adolescent “bad news” (i.e. consequences or saying “no”) is like detonating a hand grenade in the middle of the living room. The mistake many of us make when we are involved with adolescent children is we surprise them with the truth. The truth should never be a surprise.

The way I use Honesty with adolescent children is that when I have a concern I share it, I do not wait for the adolescent to make my worst fear come true and then tell them I knew they were headed down the wrong path. My job is to identify potential problem areas and “preact.” I want to put a plan in place to prevent this problem area from becoming a problem (preacting). There is also a second reason why I like to share my concerns with the adolescent. If I am unable to prevent the adolescent from going down a path that we have agreed is the wrong path for him or her to go down, I am also establishing an agreed upon consequence for the behavior. I will develop a contract, sometimes verbal and sometimes written, stating that we have agreed that if this behavior takes place then this is the consequence that will be earned by the child.

When you take the surprise out of your expectations and consequences there is very little left to argue about. This approach worked with: my adolescent son, adolescents I worked with as a Social Worker, and works with my adolescent clients today. Take the surprise out and be honest with your child. It will be difficult at first but you will reap the rewards of less conflict and a better relationship.

Humility is also very important when working with adolescent children. Many parents and adults believe they must shove the truth down their adolescent’s throat until the child acknowledges the parent is right. Let me take you back to the most significant learning experiences of your life. Did you learn because someone made you learn or did you learn because you experienced it and then had the support of a friend or loved one that helped you through it.

Many of us as parents and adults tell our children if you do that behavior I will be disappointed, mad, take away your car for a month etc… What we need to instill in our children is when you make a mistake I will be here to support you. I expect most adolescent children will do things they should not do, the same things we did when we were adolescents. We all know forbidding an adolescent child from doing something is like throwing out the gauntlet, a challenge most adolescent children cannot and will not pass up.

Remember, it is not about you. It’s not about what you want or what you believe. It is about your child, what he or she wants and what he or she believes. Do not personalize what your child is doing but allow them to experience their life and be there, with humility, to support them through it. If every time you did something wrong your friend said, “I told you so” how long would you keep talking to this friend.

As parents and adults we are supposed to know everything and never be wrong. This is the thinking that gets many of us into trouble with our adolescent child. When a child is wrong, we expect the child to acknowledge he or she was wrong and take responsibility for his or her actions. Who is role modeling this behavior for them. If it is not the adults in their life then many times it is not being role modeled at all. When we make a mistake we must admit to the adolescent child we were wrong, apologize, and revoke any consequences that were given. This is critical in building a strong relationship with an adolescent child. The message we want to instill in our children is that we are all human, we all make mistakes, and when you do make a mistake this is how you should deal with it.

Another very useful tool we have at our disposal is remembering what it was like for us when we were adolescent children. Do not make the mistake of expecting your child to be like you were when your were their age, because this will just create frustration in your life. The goal is to remember how much expectation your parents, teachers, and other adults put on you, the pressure you felt to act a certain way by your peers, the changes you were going through physically, and how every crisis seemed like it was the end of the world. Remember these difficult times, how painful some of these experiences were, and how difficult it was to always communicate with your parents about how you were truly feeling. When you can remember your own difficult experiences you will have more patience in dealing with your adolescent child when they are being disrespectful, swearing at you, yelling at you, and telling you, “You are the worst parent in the history of the world.”

Finally, remember that even though they may look like you, sometimes act like you, and have the same last name, They Are Not YOU! Our adolescent children are real people that need to be respected for their opinions, ideas, feelings and passions to take on the world. We live in a very diverse world with varying opinions on religion, politics, family values, work ethic etc… Most of us have friends that we disagree with and we accept them for who they are. When we do this with our adolescent children, respect their differences and not try to force them to be like us, we will see in front of us, not an adolescent child who is ignorant and foolish, but a young adult who is preparing for independence and the ability to take on the world with accountability and passion.

These are the tools I live by in both my personal and professional life. My adolescent clients and their families have responded well to these tools and I do believe today’s parents can develop a stronger relationship with their adolescent child if they consistently used these techniques in their everyday life.

If you have any questions, feedback, or would like to find out more about my life coaching services please access my website at http://www.FamilyCompassInc.com.
Nigel Griffiths
· Reply

Saturday, June 30, 2007 at 10:48 AM

Why coach? by Nigel Griffiths

Every organisation has its own approach to performance management and coaching, but more often or not coaching is something a line manager or supervisor DOES to a more junior member of staff.

At the Enfys Acumen (www.enfysacumen.com) we view coaching as an interactive process. Our approach to coaching helps individuals grow as professionals and contribute fully to the success of an organisation or business. Done well, it can turn performance management into a collaborative process that benefits everyone.

In today’s environment of rapidly changing technology and evolving organisations, coaching can have a strategic impact. It ensures continuous learning and develops people to meet current and future needs. Coaching is an investment that you make in developing your key resource, people, for the long-term benefit of the organisation.

About 6 out of 10 (59%) organisations currently offer coaching to their managers and executives, according to a survey of more than 300 companies by Manchester, a human capital consulting firm. Another 20% of organisations said they plan to offer such coaching within the next year.

Here’s why

Most organisations need to improve productivity to fuel growth and profitability. Productivity doesn’t happen when people are only focusing on the financial or technical issues. They also must build the capacity of managers to help their employees with the intangible elements of human interaction – because the work gets done through personal relationships. The key to ROI is developing and sustaining individual and group behaviours through personal relationships to achieve the desired business results. Executive coaching encourages the organisational development to get this done.

The Enfys Acumen is leading the way with executive coaching and can work with all kinds of organisations and businesses to develop the capability of their staff. Ask us how we can support you to introduce coaching into your workplace.
Lydia Proschinger
· Reply

Saturday, June 30, 2007 at 10:30 AM

Life Coaching to annihilation
by Lydia Proschinger

“TIME … times and …

Annihilation. . .the term rings with terror and destruction and usually after it happened only devastation is left over and time will reduce the remains to a mere historical fact or legend because there might not even be verifiable proof that an event really happened nor any survivors to tell the tale.

The probability of only signs hewn in stone being document of times, time and time again recalls partial knowledge of deeper things that might have been but of which today nobody can give the complete picture.

If you can’t really have a complete picture, if you can’t change it because it is already history, if it is time that allows you to be a diligent searcher of the past you can actually stop here for a second: do you want to be an archaeologist of your self and dig up stones and bones of your past just to put them together in a museum of self-display? I mean, what good does it serve to revisit moments of distress, anger, frustration, humiliation, jealousy…etc.?

All the “could-have-beens”, every regret and lost opportunity, why would you want to purposefully hurt yourself and people around you when you repeat the experience in your mind and recall the feeling you have had then.

Life coaching and the respective methods applied help your to replace these limiting thoughts that are in your way to complete and utter happiness. Judgments you make or twisted views you hold about yourself or others, which all come with feelings that are the direct opposite of what you want to feel like, you can learn to master.

If you thought today “I can’t ever …” replace it with “I will soon be able to…” or “I can succeed every time”. When you participate in an Anthony Robbins seminar, you are introduced to the power of your own mind and how you can let go of old limiting thoughts and feelings but wait a minute: In the moment you feel a limiting thought, can you actually stop and think that very moment or do you need someone who can train and make you aware of negative thinking patterns?

To your great relief, would you not be happy to use your mind to full capacity and not scramble your happy self image with such things of the past, times and times again?
Well, life coaching helps you to chase those thoughts away and the best thing is, forever.

According to Stephen Hawking in his book “A brief history of time”, he gives you the counsel to not shake hands if you ever meet your anti-self. It could annihilate you. The truth is, all thoughts that limit us hold some of this anti-self in us and we are beginning the annihilation of what otherwise would be creation.

Do you wish to be alive, growing and developing yourself with the vibrant colors of today? To find bits and pieces about yourself is important. During the life coaching process you learn from the past but you turn negatives into positives. Do you really have to dust off every shelf of your mind and read every letter you ever have written or received in order to really understand who you are TODAY?
Better yet, isn’t it more important to be more of yourself today so that you can start over and get all out of your greater self for the future, with all lessons learned and having fully forgiven past mistakes?

It is worth your while to think about who are you today, and perhaps put one or the other piece of your mind just now together and analyze it if it is your real self, or if it is your anti-self, that partially annihilates you. If you discover this method, you can start to reconstruct what makes you YOU today.

Instead of thinking “what could have been”, you ought to think “what will be” and in this lies the secret of creation, which is far more than mere reconstruction.

From now on, think about annihilation in a positive way:
Annihilate your anti-self, and accept it as a liberating process.

Think about all the false beliefs that have kept you limited and this for a long time?

Looking at it from the point of quantum physics, matter that meets its corresponding antiparticle in an annihilating collision, what is happening in fact is a liberating of energy. So, every limiting thought, replace it with its direct counter part. You’ll annihilate the enemies of your own development.

You will be that survivor who will be telling the tale of how you were before and how you are after you had annihilated your own enemies, i.e. negative thoughts and actions.

Your life coach wishes you “happy annihilation” and wants you to “eliminate” your anti-self so that it cannot hurt you time and times and many more times over again.

I’d like your ‘life coaching’ articles

I’d like your ‘life coaching’ articles

About David Wood

You also might be interested in

Amazing happenings of the SANG conference

Develop Your Plan for Approaching Your Targets

Rachel Pryor on Building a Practice

63 Comments

Leave your reply.

Leave a Reply