Inner Firewalking

Do What Makes You Happy

Posted by David Wood

The following is an excerpt of an actual transaction between David and a client in Top Coaching Techniques.

Client: Doing what makes me feel happy would be a great situation for me.

David: Okay, how can you even shorten that? Let’s get it punchier, so you can remember that whenever you need to?

Client: Maybe, ‘Doing what makes me feel happy is fantastic’?

David: Right. Okay. I get that. How about, ‘I should do what makes me happy’.

Client: Yes, but I want to get away from the ‘shoulds’.

David: Yes. I get it.

Client: What about, ‘Doing what makes me feel happy lightens up the world’?

David: Aha. Now you’re talking. How do you like that?

Client: Yeah. I like that. That feels really good. I’m actually going to print this up on my computer in really big writing and just stick it up on my desk.

David: [laughing] That’s great. I was about to suggest it. You need some kind of structure to support this shift and you jumped right in. ‘…lightens up the world’, which I know you believe too. We’ve just done two really important things for your authenticity and your integrity.

Client: It feels huge. Feels like one of those really big areas under the carpet that’s affecting everything, until you can gradually peel back the table that was on top of the carpet and then actually do some cleaning.

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Reasonable Goals

Posted by David Wood

The following is an excerpt of an actual transaction between David and a client in Top Coaching Techniques.

David: I’ve got an idea. Is it possible that at least one day out of the past 365 that you’ve set yourself targets that cannot actually be achieved in a day?

Client: [Laughing] Yes. A lot more than one, I would think.

David: Is it possible that could be a factor in your frustration?

Client: Yes, probably so.

David: Right.

Client: That’s why it is hard to not get frustrated if you have goals, and don’t achieve them. It’s a permanent state of frustration.

David: I can relate. I spent most of the last year in that space. At the end of each day I was constantly frustrated because I wouldn’t have achieved everything that I had said I wanted to. I have some quotes for you that will set the scene, and then I’ll get practical. So, ‘When you die, your inbox will not be empty.’ Right?

Client: Yeah.

David: Actually, I’m going to leave it at one quote. So that’s always going to happen. Now, I wonder what it would be like for you, I really do, to set targets for the next 7 days that you could actually hit – and hit them.

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Marcia Reynolds on Building A Practice

Posted by David Wood

The following is taken from David’s interview with Marcia Reynolds in 10 Super Coaches.

What was the most interesting or exciting thing for you about building your practice?

Learning to trust that the flow and speed of building my business is perfect. Even when I had cancellations, if I didn’t get scared and just accepted that the cancellation was making room for something better, I found that my business developed in the form and at the speed that was best for me. And the more I focused on learning and practicing, the quicker my business grew.

Also, I gave up on the idea of having a business plan. I offer corporate seminars and public speaking services as well as coaching. When business goes down in one area, it often picks up in one of the other two. Therefore, I always have work. I’m never sure what the balance will look like at the beginning of the year. I just go with the people and opportunities that appear and my success has grown every year.

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Perfectionism? Lighten Up

Posted by David Wood

The following is an excerpt of an actual transaction between David and a client in Top Coaching Techniques.

David: Now on the fun issue, I got the sense that you want to be less serious and have some fun. What do you suggest there? What’s it going to take?

Client: I don’t know. Isn’t it ridiculous that that should be a scary place? Okay, I think I need to allow myself a little more time to enjoy things. What I really need to do is set myself a weekly time check – that doesn’t sound like fun, does it – but where I check off each day, something I’ve done for myself that’s fun.

David: Yeah, I think that can be fine and also to have something to look forward to at the end of each day. It can make your day a lot brighter. I get what you are saying – that it doesn’t seem fun to set up a worksheet – but without a structure to change your pattern, it’s hard to change your pattern. So, I think that’s fine. So, specifically, what would you do to move this forward?

Client: I think I need to have fun and also lighten up on myself. I think I have a heavy expectation on myself to achieve and I always have, and always have achieved well. I think I actually need to take some of that focus off to a degree. It’s not the end of the world if you don’t achieve everything you want to achieve.

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Philip Cohen on Free Coaching

Posted by David Wood

The following is taken from David’s interview with Philip Cohen in 10 Super Coaches.

Do you recommend offering free coaching?

Offering free coaching is one of the best techniques a new coach has to fill their practice. I suggest offering a free coaching session to anyone who is willing to take advantage of it. It’s a great way for a prospect to experience coaching and for the coach to get practice.

After the first session, I suggest the coach does what ever is necessary to fill their practice. Sometimes that means offering free coaching for several weeks or months, however I prefer the coach offers coaching at a reduced rate instead of coaching for free.

It’s important that the coach tell the client at the beginning of the relationship the amount of their usual fee and how long the reduced coaching will last.

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Anna Dargitz with Advice for New Coaches

Posted by David Wood

The following is taken from David’s interview with Anna Dargitz in 10 Super Coaches.

What words of advice would you give to a coach starting out?

Coaching is more than a calling and more than a business. It transcends both because it’s about evolution. You are setting out to become a mentor for those who are ready and willing to evolve. Don’t take it lightly. It’s not as easy as it looks. And the rewards are more abundant than they appear.

Be prepared to dedicate your life to discovering, living and teaching others who you really are and who you really aren’t. Plan to learn and relish all kinds of truths about the underlying dynamics of people, situations and life. Plan to express yourself fully. The field of coaching is evolving fast: Plan to keep up.

Before you can help others evolve faster, you’ll need to immerse yourself in your own evolution. Don’t scrimp here. Find a good mentor. When you’ve given up all your attachments to how you thought you, life, others, coaching, and almost everything else is supposed to be, you’ll be ready for the noble role of Personal, Business and Professional Coach. And people will flock to you. Where are you now on that path?

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Home

Do What Makes You Happy

Reasonable Goals

Marcia Reynolds on Building A Practice

Perfectionism? Lighten Up

Philip Cohen on Free Coaching

Anna Dargitz with Advice for New Coaches