The following is an excerpt of an actual transaction between David and a client in Top Coaching Techniques.
David: You feel that you’re not achieving?
Client: Well, I feel that everything I am achieving is about making money, which is a good thing, because I need to make money and I’ve figure out how to make it. The problem is that then I start to feel I can’t do the fun stuff, because I’m not making money. That’s frustrating me and I need to deal with that.
David: Good. I would tend to agree with your strategy. Not doing fun stuff because it’s not the same priority as the money making stuff.
Client: Exactly.
David: Are you doing fine with the money making stuff? That’s working?
Client: Yeah. I’m doing fine with it.
David: And it’s working because you put your attention on that?
Client: Exactly.
David: There’s a managing director I’m working with who has this 7-stage plan for their life and their business, with a grid of different areas they’re going to achieve and by when. I liked it because it included things that wouldn’t normally be in a business plan. For example: one area someone put in was giving back, and he wrote he was going to sponsor a child. Another person’s area was goals they had for their kids. Another’s was life-changing experiences. I think one of them was to go and visit a morgue.
The following is an excerpt of an actual transaction between David and a client in Top Coaching Techniques.
Client: My partner says, ‘How’s he going to change all these A type people to something different?’
David: What is an A type person?
Client: They never sit still; never stop thinking.
David: And who is she referring to?
Client: Me.
David: Oh, and how am I going to change an A type person?
Client: Yeah. How’s anyone going to change me, calm me down or whatever?
David: We will see this week. What it takes ultimately for everyone is the awareness of it. It’s not like someone just telling you. It can take from a day to ten years depending on where you are at this stage. But we can start with building your awareness. If you resist it, that’s okay. Notice it every step of the way. Here are a couple of ways to achieve this – set targets you can actually achieve. One of them is called double padding. You set the target for each day; estimate how long each will take and double the time. Say it’s going to take 7 hours, so you double pad it saying it’s going to take 14 hours. You know the funny thing is it really does take 14 hours – you are just telling your brain you are double padding. Another thing is to set spaces in your day, like an hour space in the afternoon. It’s a good way to do the experiment if you are willing to go for it. You’re paying for this, so you might as well use it.
The following is an excerpt of an actual transaction between David and a client in Top Coaching Techniques.
David: Yeah. Okay, fair enough. This is great because I know you’ve distinguished here that you’ve wanted to exercise four times a week, but you’ve actually got a structure in your life that’s taking away from that, which is having your boyfriend over a lot. Right?
Client: Mm hmm.
David: Which is wonderful, but it’s just not supporting you in that area of your life, which is exercising and letting your brain switch off, and like that.
Client: Exactly.
David: How would this feel for you if you actually, for the next month, for the next 30 days you exercise four times a week?
Client: I would be a different human being.
David: Okay.
Client: I know this already.
David: Yeah, so we’re on the right track with this, because I like to check in that we’ve got the right goal.
Client: Yes.
David: That sounds wonderful. Now I want to ask you, because we’re almost there – we’re almost there and you’re going to be alone four times a week, so that’s great – now does that feel handled to you, or do you want to keep going in terms of structure? Because there are more structures you can put in place.
The following is an excerpt of David’s interview in Top Coaching Techniques.
Ingrid: So that is the case for some people – it does require a great deal of study or skill development before they can move into their actual career – so it’s not as simple as just switching from one to the other. What do you say to those people?
David: That’s a good point. What I would say is, see if you can stick your big toe in the water. So, if for example, with medicine, it takes a long time to become a qualified doctor, instead of going and studying to be a doctor for many years to see if you like it, see if you can get a job as an assistant somewhere in a hospital or around a doctor’s surgery. That way you can start getting involved with it. Get videos out, start kind of immersing yourself in that area to see if it feels good for you. Then maybe there’s an interim step.
The following is an sample form from Top Coaching Techniques.
1. What have you achieved since the last coaching session, in any/all areas of your life? (Include anything you have learned)
2. Are any actions not done or incomplete from the last coaching session? I will complete these by:
3. Have you been blocked anywhere? What is your current Perspective and underlying Judgment? What new Perspective will you create?
4. Please name three things in your life for which you are currently grateful (at least one should be different from previous weeks).
5. What concerns, if any, do you currently have?
6. What opportunities exist, or can you create for yourself this week? (In particular, you might like to use any insights from 3 or 5)
7. Please list the actions you will take to move yourself forward by the next coaching session:
(List numbered down the page, and please be specific)
8. What do you want to accomplish from your upcoming coaching session? Please be as specific as you can, and if you draw a blank, I invite you to create something!
The following is an excerpt of one of David’s coaching sessions in Top Coaching Techniques.
David: If you just try to handle eating alone, that’s not easy because the rest of your life is a little bit in disarray. So if you try exercise alone, that’s not easy because you feel bloated, because you just ate some bad foods. If you take on the whole list… One of my things was to exercise, so I find if I go out and rock climb one night, I am not drinking alcohol, I feel like healthy foods and I am not watching any movies. Plus, I’m spending time with my partner, because she comes with me.
Client: That’s right.
David: So, I’m in this positive cycle, and it’s not even taking any effort. I didn’t even know I was doing it until I just told you the list.
Client: Yeah.
David: So what I invite you to do for this week – and to send me by the end of tomorrow – is the list of the ‘practices that support you’ and the ‘practices that abuse you’. Print it out and put it up on a wall somewhere at home. Maybe give it to your partner as well, as your partner often notices things that you’re doing or that don’t support you.
