The following is an excerpt of David’s interview in Top Coaching Techniques.
Ingrid: It’s hard sometimes, especially if you have a young family. The needs of family, and perhaps the families of other people, make it difficult to even save a little bit. Can a little bit help?
David: It can make a big difference. Saving $50 a week, instead of using $200 to go out, can change your outlook. Start with saving, so it is a practice. Most people pay all sorts of expenses and say, ‘I’ll save whatever is left over.’ Do not try this at home. Your expenses will always expand to your income. Pick a goal, work out how much you need, and set a savings target. Then slash out expenses. First put in bank, and then live on the rest. Play a game called ‘How to Live on the Rest’.
Client: That’s like turning your savings on its head though.
David: It is. Right. ‘Pay yourself first’, I read once in a book. Put it directly into a bank account. It can be painful to slash expenses, but when you’ve been putting $200 in the bank, and this is what we have to live on, it becomes a game.
The following is an excerpt of one of David’s coaching sessions in Top Coaching Techniques.
David: Yeah. So, the truth – and we couldn’t have had this conversation a month ago without this example – the truth is an amazing thing. It will set you free, right? It could set you free from this job.
Client: But then, where does that put me? I still feel like I need to pay off a couple of more bills and make sure there’s money coming in. I know I have financial support now, but then that just brings me to my other issue, which is relying on someone else, which I’ve never done before in my life.
David: Yeah. So, I think you’ve got some things going on. I want to finish off on this truth thing, because we don’t know that that’s going to mean that your job’s gone. We’re just saying that you’re putting it at risk.
Client: Yeah.
David: It doesn’t mean that it’s over. You can go in and talk to her in integrity. Tell her whatever it is you’ll be doing for the company and winding up your stuff and totally working out the rest of your term. She might be grateful that you’re honest.
The following is an excerpt of one of David’s coaching sessions in Top Coaching Techniques.
David: If mama ain’t happy, ain’t no one happy!
Client: Very true!
David: So it’s just smart, and it’ll save you time. Rather than focusing your attention on yourself, focus more of it on her. The other advantage of that is she’s more intuitive. So she’ll know when you need a break; she’ll know when this is right for you; she’ll know when this color’s right for you. She just… Imagine life without women!
Client: It’s true.
David: So she’ll actually help to guide you to places that you wouldn’t go on your own.
Client: True.
David: So you can actually rely on that, but the question you raised is, ‘What’s the limit? What about when I need something?’ What I would suggest – and this is coming straight from a guy in the States who’s developed all this stuff – is 10%. 10% of the time there should be limits. Like ‘No, that’s not okay’ or ‘No, I’m not going to go there. I’m on vacation’ or ‘No, I don’t agree to spending that.’
Client: Got it.
David: That helps in two ways. One way is you get to look after yourself. Like, sometimes you just need some space.
Client: Yeah.
David: Or you need this or you need that – so sometimes you can put the veto in and go, ‘You know what? I need to look after myself on that one.’ The other reason that’s really good is, women need to know that there are limits. In fact, everybody does. If you have absolutely no limits, respect can disappear. Then you’re all wishy-washy, and no one wants a doormat.
The following is an excerpt of David’s interview in Top Coaching Techniques.
Ingrid: What if David, you know you want to get out of your current job – perhaps it’s painting, perhaps you’re a nurse at the moment – but you just don’t know what, you don’t quite know which way to head?
David: Great question. So, I think that a lot of us have learned at an early age to stop creating, to stop dreaming. It may sound simple and trivial, but really, I would start with a notepad. Get a piece of paper and write down what’s important to you in life. Now it might be adventure, it might be discovery, it might be love, and it might be teaching or helping somebody. You want to get your core values, because if you pick a job that’s not surrounding your core values, you’re not going to be fulfilled anyway. So that would be step number one.
Ingrid: OK. So that was basically where we start. Blank notepaper and pen. Should you ask and invite other people’s opinion, your friends, your relatives, your husband, and your wife?
David: That’s a great idea! I would move to step two. In step two what I would do is ask someone to write down twenty possibilities, maybe fifty, and really get silly. Maybe include a ballerina there, even if you don’t like dancing. Now I’d include working for Aschio, something like that, and really get out there and think outside the box. I think it’s a great suggestion – go and talk to your friends, ask your parents what they think you’d be great at, ask your kids. Really have some fun with it. I mean, this could be a great project all in itself.
The following is an excerpt of one of David’s coaching sessions in Top Coaching Techniques.
David: I went to a seminar last night called Creating Great Relationships. Isn’t that interesting that we moved our session so I could go to that seminar and now we’re in this session after my being at the seminar?
Client: Hmm. You tell me.
David: I will tell you – he said, ‘How often do you hear the expression: it’s got to be 50-50?
Client: All the time.
David: What if it was 100-100?
Client: Yes.
David: If you are operating at 100% and fully in love with yourself and doing what you want to do and I am at 100% doing what I love to do, then wow! It’s interesting that I tend to compromise so you can get what you want. Compromise is a bit of an old model. There is a new model, a new-age type stuff that is really good. It says you don’t ever need to compromise in a relationship. You both can get what you want. There are win-win games. Both of you win so much, that the surplus spills onto everyone else. Do you see how that model could work?
Client: Yes.
The following is an excerpt of David’s interview in Top Coaching Techniques.
Ingrid: Look, I have to admit, I was in year ten when we were told we had to start to choose our subjects and our direction in life, our future careers, and I thought I wanted to be a physiotherapist, David. Then I went and did work experience, and I could not get out of there fast enough at the end of the day.
David: Right, right. So you bring up a great point, and I’m sure there are a lot of listeners out there who are thinking, ‘Maybe I want to be a photographer; maybe I want to be an actor.’ but what happens is, we box ourselves, and we think, ‘I have to quit my job and go and study that, or I have to stick with my job.’ What about the middle ground? If you want to be a photographer, and you think that might be a great career, go and do a photography course. Do it as a hobby and see if you can start getting a little bit of money for it. Maybe at some point you’ll cut back your current job and transition into photography, or at some point you’ll quit.
