The following is an excerpt of one of David’s coaching sessions in Top Coaching Techniques.
Client: I love music. I love listening to music.
David: Great. So what are two or three different jobs that involve listening to music?
Client: Um. I don’t know. I just went to a concert last week. I would love to be one of those people who help organize their tour. Yeah, that would be fun.
David: Wow. That’s great.
Client: Like, a tour promoter or just actually traveling with the band. Not necessarily making music, but helping them get their music around.
David: Yeah. Write that down. That would be fun.
Client: Yeah, that would be.
David: Now, when you do your list, you’re going to give them scores on different for each of the jobs. Just write down like twenty or thirty and then go along and score them. One of the scores will be for ease of entry. Some of them will have a really low score, because you’ll be like, ‘Oh, I don’t know how to get into that.’ Other will have a high score, like organizing tours. That can’t be hard to get into. You get hired as an assistant. You don’t apply – it’s just based on how enthusiastic you are. You jump in and get some experience, and then you just go from there.
The following is an excerpt of one of David’s coaching sessions in Top Coaching Techniques.
David: So, my invitation to you is, draw the boundaries so you know how far it goes. That way you don’t have to wonder everyday, ‘Am I not allowed to spend this? Is this too much?’ Work out the boundaries so you know where it is and then lap it up! Enjoy it. Go overboard with it. Acknowledge him. Thank him. Play with it.
Client: Okay.
David: If you’re going to get support, you might as well enjoy it. For some women, this is their entire goal!
Client: You know, I’ve always thought that it wouldn’t be bad to have that, and now that I’ve got it in my face it’s just really scary, because I’m defining it as dependence. What I need to understand is that I could never be dependent on someone, because I know that I can take care of myself if I need to.
David: Right, you can.
Client: [laughing] I feel better.
The following is an excerpt of David’s interview in Top Coaching Techniques.
Ingrid: So on that David, is it an important thing to follow your passion?
David: Ingrid, what a silly question! Are you really going to ask me that question, seriously? Look, there was a time when we were very focused on survival, and some people still are, but more and more people are realizing that they can feed themselves, have a roof over their head, and they don’t have to just survive anymore. It’s not a case where you have to take one job and keep it for life. There are so many options these days. Why not follow your passion? Do you want to be lying there on your deathbed going, ‘Well, I kept that same job for fifty years and I’m so proud of myself.’ or do you want to say, ‘I fully experienced everything I could.’
The following is an excerpt of one of David’s coaching sessions in Top Coaching Techniques.
David: Say you’ve been saying in your mind, ‘Oh, lacking confidence is terrible and bad, and that’s why, you know…’ While you have that, I think you’ll constantly be trying to fix it, and the irony is, that’s what’s going to stop you from having it.
Client: Mm hmm!
David: You’re unconfident about your confidence.
Client: [laughing] Yes.
David: At some point, here’s what’s going to happen to you. You’re going to wake up one day and realize ‘Oh, this is me. All of it is just me, and that’s fine. When I feel confident, then I feel confident; and when I feel unconfident, I feel unconfident. I can be a real timid little dear sometimes, and that’s a part of me that I want to start to get to know.
The following is an excerpt of one of David’s coaching sessions in Top Coaching Techniques.
David: Now that’s maybe one thing. The other thing I want to say is, I can understand – particularly for a woman – because you are taught you should find a man.
Client: Yeah.
David: You’ve been taught that since birth. That it will give you value and that’s what you should do, and in a way, you’ve been taught that you’re lucky if a man finds you and settles down with you and looks after you – all that kind of crap – before he finally dumps on you. So, particularly for a woman, I can understand the thinking, ‘I must sacrifice for my relationship.’ However, there’s another way of thinking that goes, ‘If you look after yourself and you do what you love, you will shine and you will attract the person you need to be with. Until you become that person you need to be – until you go and shine, the person you are meant to be with can’t even find you.
Client: Yeah.
David: Now, this guy might be the guy. That’s okay. I’m not saying he’s not. I’m saying you are not in a bargaining position. You are not needing him. You are not needing to sacrifice for any relationship. You could find someone who would love to be with you and you’d be a delight to be around, because you are just so loving life.
The following is an excerpt of one of David’s coaching sessions in Top Coaching Techniques.
See, there’s a lot of confrontational stuff in the world – I was going to use the word energy, and I thought that was a bit to airy-fairy – but there’s a lot of confrontation happening, and I don’t think that’s the best or most fulfilling way to go about it. I would suggest partnering with your boss in some way and working out what you think you’re worth. Then ask your boss’s honest opinion.
Now, that may not work, and there may come a time when you need to draw a line and you say, You know, if I am worth more than this, and if I don’t get paid more than this, than I respect your decision but I need to go elsewhere.’ Which brings me to point two. I said there were two or three different ways that I think would be obvious to get a pay raise.
One would be going and saying, ‘I’d like a pay raise now.’ Another great idea would be to go to your boss and say, ‘Look, I want a pay raise. I’d like to be earning fifty percent more than I’m earning and I’d like to get it within a reasonable time frame. Now who do I have to be and what do I have to contribute to this company to be worth that to you?’ So there you can partner with your boss and your boss can reach out to take a look. ‘Well, if you achieve these targets, that might be worth it. If you got this training that might be worth it.’ You can actually create a career plan together.
