The following is an excerpt of an actual transaction between David and a client in Top Coaching Techniques.

David: There is something huge about you and your son, and there is something huge for you about self-care. I am not going to get into the psychology of it, since I’m not a psychologist – they know more than me – but there is possibly an identity you have for yourself as a mother. It might be time for you to let go of that and step into the identity of Kathy, doing what Kathy knows is right. What would it take for you to say no to your son?

Client: Yeah, that’s a big one.

David: Let me put it a better way, what would it take for you to say no to something that is detrimental to your son and to you?

Client: I am confused as to what I have to say no to.

David: I don’t think you’re confused at all. I don’t think you want to hear it or want to do it.

Client: No, I don’t want to do it.