The following is an excerpt of one of David’s coaching sessions in Top Coaching Techniques.

Client: So I’m going to have to be a little more forgiving, because obviously I’m the one that it’s affecting. I need to be a little more forgiving, a little more open and honest.

David: I think that’s a start. Now I want to help you go to the next level.

Client: I need that!

David: Great, because there are two more levels here to look at. One is, you said a little more forgiving and a little more open. How about completely forgiving your mother for how she did motherhood? How about saying that she did motherhood the best that she knew how. Yeah, she might kick herself now looking back, but at the time, she didn’t say, ‘look I really want to screw up motherhood today’. She never said that. So how about taking on that perspective and completely forgiving your mother, and seeing her as a human being?

Paul: I think it’s very easy not to look on your mother as a human being sometimes.

David: Yes! Absolutely. You know we grow up as little boys and we become little boys in men’s bodies. We’ve still got that perspective. Then when we finally see our mother as trying to do motherhood… People express feelings in certain ways, right? As kids we want them to be open and loving. Most people aren’t.