The following is an excerpt of one of David’s coaching sessions in Top Coaching Techniques.
David: I’d love to see you test market a video. Show lots of people. What’s the demand; what do they want? If you need 10 or 15 grand to get a really good one done, okay. Then you go look for some capital to get a video done. But, that’s one project. Then you might look at something else. I mean, it’s a fun thing to look at and to think about. Maybe it’s just that I haven’t had experience with a lot of getting a whole bunch of capital and going out great guns, but I really thought you’d do that when you want speed to market.
Client: I agree. I see what you’re saying. I think that’s how it usually ends up falling, but I just think about all the other businesses. You’ve got my mind rolling. I’m looking back saying, ‘Okay, when I started this business, how did it really get started? How did it become successful?’ It was a ramping up.
David: I’m a huge believer in that.
Client: That’s a good point. That’s very true. You’re right on that.
David: So it’s like a dance. You get to grow totally in tune with your market, and responding to your market, instead of coming up with this plan of what you think the market will take – instead of going out there and hoping. Okay. So have some fun with that. There’s a good point to it, to feel out the market. It’s responding to what you feel, rather than trying to tell it what it should be.
The following is an excerpt of one of David’s coaching sessions in Top Coaching Techniques.
David: Yeah, but what I can see is the possibility that like as you’re going through your roller coaster, she’s got her own version that she’s trying to move through and deal with it all, so I can totally get that if you called her – see, look at how confused you’ve been, right, and you’ve got me to help you through it. She’s on her own. Who’s going to help her through it? Her man? She’s probably not talking to him about it. So she’s dealing with that, and each time, if you do go back to her to try and get your need met, you can be turning her life upside down a little bit. So just something to bear in mind.
Client: Yeah, exactly. I was just thinking whether that’s actually selfish of me to actually do that.
David: Yeah. So the coaching is to stay present, stay aware in each moment, to check in with her as to what she wants and what would support her. If what would support her is not hearing your voice, then yeah, she’s made it pretty clear and you can decide if you want to do that, or if it’s more important to you to get your need met, which I suspect it isn’t, from what I’ve heard from you today.
The following is an excerpt of David’s interview in Top Coaching Techniques.
David: Well I know you are, Ingrid, but there’s some people out there who may feel a little less than perfect. Now here’s the thing. Often, when we look for a relationship, and I include myself in this, often when we look, we’re looking because we don’t feel whole and complete on our own. We’re not happy and we feel lonely, and therefore we want a relationship to feel connected. Okay? That’s very common.
Ingrid: All right, so what you’re saying then is that we have to feel whole before we start looking?
David: You don’t have to, but it helps. It helps so much. What I would say is you want to be enjoying your life, and that is your number one priority. Actually, it’s your number one priority on the planet, we could say. You must be enjoying your life. So if you’re really desperate for a relationship – and there’s nothing wrong with that; many times I’ve been very desperate to have some company or have someone in a relationship – what you want to look at is whether you’re enjoying your life. If you’re not – which is very likely if you’re desperate for a relationship – you want to look at what you could do to your life to have it be more fun for you. Then, the irony is, if you spend a couple of months on this and you go and get your house looking the way you want it to look, you get your clothes looking the way you want them to look, you go to the gym – if that’s bugging you; only if it’s bugging you – and you really start enjoying your life – maybe buying that guitar and taking some lessons, and going out to that club you want to go at – you are going to be so much more attractive to everybody.
The following is an excerpt of one of David’s coaching sessions in Top Coaching Techniques.
Client: Well that’s it. I mean, that would be a hard question for me to actually go over there now, because –
David: But I’m wondering if you want that.
Client: Exactly. I mean, she wanted me to keep traveling with her, and I didn’t want to because I’ve done enough traveling, and I still don’t want to do that. So yeah, I don’t think I’d even make that.
David: Yeah, so it was interesting how I picked it up, the way you said it. You said to her, ‘I’m not going to go and do it because you don’t want that,’ but really you’re not going to come and do it because you don’t want that.
Client: No. Exactly.
David: That’s a very different place to come from. ‘This doesn’t support me, and it doesn’t support you, so it’s just really clear,’ rather than, ‘If you wanted me to, I’d be over there,’ which is sneaky, isn’t it?
Client: I guess I’m always trying to protect myself from getting sort of hurt, or giving away too much. I don’t want to seem like I’m this pathetic, slobbering thing that’s baying for her, which I almost have been. I think she lost respect for me when I was like that.
The following is an excerpt of one of David’s coaching sessions in Top Coaching Techniques.
David: Yes! It’s just coming to me some of the things that are going to become obvious just to throw in there – an upgrade special. You know, ‘I wanted to let you know we’ve got an upgrade special this month.’ That might go out in the third letter that they get. If, instead of a half page or full page, you get a two-page spread.
Client: That’s a very good point.
David: As you know, it’s so much easier than getting a new sale.
Client: That’s a good call, a very good call. I like it.
David: Great.
Client: Yeah, thanks for that. They’re good ideas and you’re right about the customer relationship management system, because if you don’t do that, you tend to just blunder on – making sales, making sales – and not following up on the sales you’ve got.
David: Then you lose the referrals, or you could lose a customer in the end, plus you lose your extensions. What you want is to make it so easy. When they go to renew, it’s like, ‘Oh, you know, I only want to work with people who are keeping touch with me every now and then, and who are handling stuff so that I don’t have to think about it.’
Client: Yeah, good call.
David: ‘ If they sold to me and I don’t hear from them again, it’s like every day I have to wonder if this was a good idea.’
The following is an excerpt of David’s interview in Top Coaching Techniques.
Ingrid: Yes. I think there’s a whole topic to talk about on dating, but just as far as my experience goes, David, the best dates are ones that you’re not just going to the movies or perhaps having dinner, but you’re actually doing something, like going bowling or going bush walking.
David: Yeah. I don’t recommend the movies unless it’s combined with something else, because in movies, they’re just there with you while you’re watching something else, you know? So something where you can talk or go for a stroll, and check out some cafes. You said how do you do that date thing. I’m going to give a tip here to the listeners, which is more important than almost anything else that I can talk about in this program, and that is you need to ask.
Ingrid: You’ll have to explain that.
David: You need to invite somebody. If you want a date, you need to invite somebody. You can’t just – I mean yes, there are ways, particularly for women, to look attractive and drop hints, and this and that, but basically, if you spot somebody who is at least remotely, possibly the kind of person you’d like to spend more time with, ask them. ‘Hey, you know what? I’m interested in doing some bowling or whatever, do you want to come?’ You’ve got to really put yourself on the line. One exercise I’ve given people before is, if you’re really hesitant about asking people, is get out there and ask ten people and make sure you get at least two or three no’s.
