coaching example - Inner Firewalking

Gaining Perspective After a Break Up

The following is an excerpt of one of David’s coaching sessions in Top Coaching Techniques.

David: You’re on the road.

Client: On the road, mate.

David: Good for you. That’s a great perspective, you know? What I wrote down for you in coaching, because you wrote something about trying to win her back and stuff like that, and I don’t know whether to stay in contact, or whatever, we do that in life. We try and make a decision on it, and come up with this executive thing and follow it, and indeed, coaching is a lot about that. However, a wonderful thing to do sometimes is to go in each moment, and not make any decision on it now. But tomorrow, if at 3:00, you feel like calling her and having a chat about what she’s up to, then you can make that decision at that time.

Client: Yeah.

David: If you take a look and think, ‘Do I really want to, or is that just to make me feel a little bit better? Do I need that? Could I take a walk instead?’ You know, it’s whatever you go through, you’ll go through at that point. The next day, or five minutes later, you may feel different.

Integrity Coaching

The following is an excerpt of one of David’s coaching sessions in Top Coaching Techniques.

David: Okay let’s check something with you now. How did the dinner go?

Client: I didn’t do it.

David: Right.

Client: I’m bad.

David: Yeah, I call that a breakdown in the accountability, because you said that’s what you wanted and you’re not sticking to that. So do you still want accountability?

Client: Yep.

David: How can you reach – does she have a mobile?

Client: Yeah.

David: Have you got a mobile?

Client: Yeah.

David: Okay, how’d you like to give her a call now and tell her when you’re going to cook her dinner?

Client: Yeah, I could do that.

David: It’s called accountability.

Client: It’s just that I’ve got to be careful about why I’m calling her.

David: You can just say, ‘Hey, I want to cook you dinner.’

Client: You mean now now?

David: Yeah, now now. I’ll be happy to hold on.

Client: Let me get off the phone now.

David: I think now might be a little better.

Client: All right.

David: All right, are you willing to do that?

Client: Okay.

David: Great. I’ll hold on.

Client: I’ll put you on hold.

David: Yeah. Thanks.

[Interruption]

David: How are you?

Client: Good. It’s done.

David: Good.

Client: I had trouble getting her. I had to try another number.

David: Well done.

Client: But I did it.

David: That wasn’t so hard.

Client: No, it wasn’t hard at all.

When Clients Don’t Show Up

The following is an excerpt of one of David’s coaching sessions in Top Coaching Techniques.

David: It sounds great that you hit that block, you kept on moving, and I’m grateful to these people who didn’t keep their appointments with you.

Client: Yeah, that was a real kick in the gut. It was like, ‘Oh, no. I knew it wouldn’t work.’ You know, I went into the whole self-doubt thing. Some of them did ring me and apologize, which I thought was great. When I went back, it was, ‘Oh yeah. Sorry.’ I said, ‘Would you like to reschedule?’ ‘Oh yeah,’ so I’ve actually rescheduled everyone.

David: Okay. I think this may have come along for a reason for you right now, being some kind of lesson here. Can you see what the lesson is, what might the lesson be?

Client: That it’s not necessarily about me, that maybe something else came up, and it’s not personal.

David: Okay, very good. I can see that as being a powerful lesson. I can see another one here, too. See, early on in my practice, I had a lot of people not be there for calls. I can have six calls scheduled in a day, and two or three of them wouldn’t be there when I called. Nowadays, that doesn’t happen. Nowadays, there are zero people not show. Even for the trial sessions, in different countries with different time zones, the people are there. It’s very few: maybe 20 percent aren’t there. Who doesn’t show up, the percentage of people that don’t show up is totally a function of who you’re being in setting up that call.

Leaving Your Old Job Behind

The following is an excerpt of one of David’s coaching sessions in Top Coaching Techniques.

David: Yeah. So, the truth – and we couldn’t have had this conversation a month ago without this example – the truth is an amazing thing. It will set you free, right? It could set you free from this job.

Client: But then, where does that put me? I still feel like I need to pay off a couple of more bills and make sure there’s money coming in. I know I have financial support now, but then that just brings me to my other issue, which is relying on someone else, which I’ve never done before in my life.

David: Yeah. So, I think you’ve got some things going on. I want to finish off on this truth thing, because we don’t know that that’s going to mean that your job’s gone. We’re just saying that you’re putting it at risk.

Client: Yeah.

David: It doesn’t mean that it’s over. You can go in and talk to her in integrity. Tell her whatever it is you’ll be doing for the company and winding up your stuff and totally working out the rest of your term. She might be grateful that you’re honest.

100-100

The following is an excerpt of one of David’s coaching sessions in Top Coaching Techniques.

David: I went to a seminar last night called Creating Great Relationships. Isn’t that interesting that we moved our session so I could go to that seminar and now we’re in this session after my being at the seminar?

Client: Hmm. You tell me.

David: I will tell you – he said, ‘How often do you hear the expression: it’s got to be 50-50?

Client: All the time.

David: What if it was 100-100?

Client: Yes.

David: If you are operating at 100% and fully in love with yourself and doing what you want to do and I am at 100% doing what I love to do, then wow! It’s interesting that I tend to compromise so you can get what you want. Compromise is a bit of an old model. There is a new model, a new-age type stuff that is really good. It says you don’t ever need to compromise in a relationship. You both can get what you want. There are win-win games. Both of you win so much, that the surplus spills onto everyone else. Do you see how that model could work?

Client: Yes.

Determining Your Goals

The following is an excerpt of one of David’s coaching sessions in Top Coaching Techniques.

Client: I love music. I love listening to music.

David: Great. So what are two or three different jobs that involve listening to music?

Client: Um. I don’t know. I just went to a concert last week. I would love to be one of those people who help organize their tour. Yeah, that would be fun.

David: Wow. That’s great.

Client: Like, a tour promoter or just actually traveling with the band. Not necessarily making music, but helping them get their music around.

David: Yeah. Write that down. That would be fun.

Client: Yeah, that would be.

David: Now, when you do your list, you’re going to give them scores on different for each of the jobs. Just write down like twenty or thirty and then go along and score them. One of the scores will be for ease of entry. Some of them will have a really low score, because you’ll be like, ‘Oh, I don’t know how to get into that.’ Other will have a high score, like organizing tours. That can’t be hard to get into. You get hired as an assistant. You don’t apply – it’s just based on how enthusiastic you are. You jump in and get some experience, and then you just go from there.