The following is an excerpt of one of David’s coaching sessions in Top Coaching Techniques.
David: I guess it is and it seems you’re clear as to why I asked you that question.
Client: Well, you’re trying to find what it is that’s motivating me, I presume.
David: There seems to be a strong focus for you on what isn’t working, and the words are in here: Sherry, awesome weather, value time with my daughter. You’ve got your achievements and what you are grateful for, but I don’t get that you’re really present to it; that it’s not really there for you in each moment.
Client: No, it’s probably not. I’m trying to find my way out of it to change that. I guess it’s the thing that I most want than I am happiest with, because I haven’t got what I want to make me happy. That wasn’t very well put, was it?
David: That’s okay. What I am pretty clear on is what you want over the next 12 months that will make you happier. I think that when you get out of this job, it will make a big difference in your life. I understand that. What I really want to know is what could you do – what’s it going to take – over the next 7 days, for you to enjoy those?
Client: [laughing] I can’t chuck my job – that’s not a very useful thing.
David: That might be something I’d actually challenge on another occasion, about whether or not you can do that. But, I’m not going to do it for now. We’ll leave that for you. We’ve not just that to work on.
The following is an excerpt of an actual transaction between David and a client in Top Coaching Techniques.
David: Yeah, we think of it as a black and white, and all it is, is a combination of doing a few different things and a few different skills that happen to draw an income. It happens to be rewarded with money in our society. So you get to play this game, and you get paid, and you tend to get paid ongoing. It’s not just for one week.
Client: Yeah, exactly.
David: That’s really all a job is. So you could play that kind of structure or you could step out of that structure and say, ‘You know, I want to create my own thing where I’m creating value, not for an organization, but for myself.’ People often call that a business.
Client: Yes. Okay.
David: Which you could do with a bunch of people or you could do on your own. To me, it doesn’t matter. I don’t care if you do a business or find an existing business that does what you want. It doesn’t really matter. All I care about is that what you’re doing expresses the values of truth, love, courage and fun/happiness.
David: How about your dad – why don’t you pretend I’m dad?
Client: Okay.
David: Without even working it out, or thinking it out, I want you to say honestly what’s there for you to say.
Client: I basically feel that I come second to now to your new family. I feel that the plans that you make are based firstly on what works best for Carmen and her children, and whatever time is left is set aside for my son and me. I realize that I don’t reach out and I don’t talk to you every day, like Carmen’s daughter calls her every day. I’d like to change that. I’d like to call – maybe not every day – but call more often. I’d just like us to be closer.
David: Wow! That was beautiful, Kelly!
Client: Well, thanks.
David: That was like someone that had done three years in communication study. That was just beautiful and straight.
The following is an excerpt of an actual transaction between David and a client in Top Coaching Techniques.
David: Well, it might be the hardest, but I just want to find out what was most valuable for you out of what we touched on in this session.
Client: Um, well to not think that I know what’s best for my family.
David: Wow!
Client: Yeah. Listen to what they have to say.
The following is an excerpt of an actual transaction between David and a client in Top Coaching Techniques.
David: Because it’s beautiful! I don’t know where how he’s going to take it, you know? Who knows?
Client: Yeah.
David: I didn’t have his childhood. I don’t know what his life’s like right now. I don’t know what it means to him. I don’t know how attached he might be to this business idea. We have no idea, but that’s not the point. This is powerful and it’s beautiful and I can see you sharing it with him and giving him the opportunity to share his thoughts and what he needs. Here’s what I want for you. I want you to have this support.
Client: Okay. Yeah, it’ll be interesting to see if he’ll give it.
David: It will be. I say that a relationship without having this support from your partner is not really a relationship.
Okay.
David: Now, if you’re doing the business, then and I’m going to assert this – it’s not the truth, but I’m going to assert it and if you decide to take it on, you can take it on and you can assert it too – if you do support him in the business, then you can request or demand his support. You deserve it. If you don’t do the business, then you can request or demand his support.
Client: Mm hmm.
David: You deserve it!
The following is an excerpt of an actual transaction between David and a client in Top Coaching Techniques.
David: It’s a great cycle too. It’s like a lot of things in life, which you’ll notice as you coach. When you’re not feeling well or not happy in yourself, then you start eating worse foods. You want more chocolate – more this and that to reward yourself – and then you make yourself feel even worse. It’s a great cycle, perpetuating. Similarly, there is a positive cycle, right? If you eat healthier foods, you start feeling better about your life, so you’ll want healthier foods. You can have whichever cycle you like. Which one would you like?
Client: I want the one that is easier on myself. This chaos is just crazy and I’m tired of it. Healthy eating is one thing I battle with big time. Mentally, I battle with healthy foods.
David: It’s funny that they’re all linked.
