confidence

The following is an excerpt of one of David’s coaching sessions in Top Coaching Techniques.

David: Say you’ve been saying in your mind, ‘Oh, lacking confidence is terrible and bad, and that’s why, you know…’ While you have that, I think you’ll constantly be trying to fix it, and the irony is, that’s what’s going to stop you from having it.

Client: Mm hmm!

David: You’re unconfident about your confidence.

Client: [laughing] Yes.

David: At some point, here’s what’s going to happen to you. You’re going to wake up one day and realize ‘Oh, this is me. All of it is just me, and that’s fine. When I feel confident, then I feel confident; and when I feel unconfident, I feel unconfident. I can be a real timid little dear sometimes, and that’s a part of me that I want to start to get to know.

The following is an excerpt of one of David’s coaching sessions in Top Coaching Techniques.

David: Hey, not everyone wants to be around me all the time. In fact, most don’t. They just want to be around me sometimes.

Client: Yeah.

David: So there’s this whole thing about the concept of loving yourself, and I think most of us don’t. I think I’m even still getting there. There are things about us that we just think are wrong. Now, the fact is, it’s not true. Anything about myself that I think I can criticize… Are you a religious person?

Client: Oh yeah, kind of.

David: OK, so let’s use the concept of God. You know God loves all of us. Why shouldn’t we? Who are we, if God says, ‘Look, you’re you and you’re magnificent’, then who are we to say, ‘No, I’m not’?

Client: Yeah, true.

David: That’s really, actually, quite obnoxious. It’s arrogant to say, ‘You know, my lack of confidence is a real problem, God. I shouldn’t have that. That sucks and I’m going to try and fix it every day.’ You know what I mean?

Client: Yes. Okay. That sounds good.

David: So at some point you’ll have this. You’ll have it from time to time, and then you’ll forget it and just go ‘Ah, I’m not going to give that any energy anymore, because it’s okay. I can be unconfident’. At some point it’ll be appropriate for you to have more confidence.