The following is an excerpt of one of David’s coaching sessions in Top Coaching Techniques.
Client: I love music. I love listening to music.
David: Great. So what are two or three different jobs that involve listening to music?
Client: Um. I don’t know. I just went to a concert last week. I would love to be one of those people who help organize their tour. Yeah, that would be fun.
David: Wow. That’s great.
Client: Like, a tour promoter or just actually traveling with the band. Not necessarily making music, but helping them get their music around.
David: Yeah. Write that down. That would be fun.
Client: Yeah, that would be.
David: Now, when you do your list, you’re going to give them scores on different for each of the jobs. Just write down like twenty or thirty and then go along and score them. One of the scores will be for ease of entry. Some of them will have a really low score, because you’ll be like, ‘Oh, I don’t know how to get into that.’ Other will have a high score, like organizing tours. That can’t be hard to get into. You get hired as an assistant. You don’t apply – it’s just based on how enthusiastic you are. You jump in and get some experience, and then you just go from there.
The following is an excerpt of one of David’s coaching sessions in Top Coaching Techniques.
Client: It’s like every week I’ve always come up with, ‘Oh, that would be good or I’d like to do that or own a dog washing business and drive around washing dogs.’
David: Well! Have you written those down?
Client: No, I haven’t.
David: Okay. I want you to write them down right now.
Client: Okay.
David: Those first few that you mentioned. This is going to be your homework, but I just want to get the ball rolling with you and then I’ll give you a form that’s really great. Okay, so: dog washing business, salon, journalist, writing documentaries. Yes, that’s great. You know, you wouldn’t believe how easy it is to do some of this stuff.
Client: Really? It seems like it’s so… but it would be easy, I guess.
The following is an excerpt of one of David’s coaching sessions in Top Coaching Techniques.
David: I guess it is and it seems you’re clear as to why I asked you that question.
Client: Well, you’re trying to find what it is that’s motivating me, I presume.
David: There seems to be a strong focus for you on what isn’t working, and the words are in here: Sherry, awesome weather, value time with my daughter. You’ve got your achievements and what you are grateful for, but I don’t get that you’re really present to it; that it’s not really there for you in each moment.
Client: No, it’s probably not. I’m trying to find my way out of it to change that. I guess it’s the thing that I most want than I am happiest with, because I haven’t got what I want to make me happy. That wasn’t very well put, was it?
David: That’s okay. What I am pretty clear on is what you want over the next 12 months that will make you happier. I think that when you get out of this job, it will make a big difference in your life. I understand that. What I really want to know is what could you do – what’s it going to take – over the next 7 days, for you to enjoy those?
Client: [laughing] I can’t chuck my job – that’s not a very useful thing.
David: That might be something I’d actually challenge on another occasion, about whether or not you can do that. But, I’m not going to do it for now. We’ll leave that for you. We’ve not just that to work on.
The following is an excerpt of an actual transaction between David and a client in Top Coaching Techniques.
David: I’ve got an idea. Is it possible that at least one day out of the past 365 that you’ve set yourself targets that cannot actually be achieved in a day?
Client: [Laughing] Yes. A lot more than one, I would think.
David: Is it possible that could be a factor in your frustration?
Client: Yes, probably so.
David: Right.
Client: That’s why it is hard to not get frustrated if you have goals, and don’t achieve them. It’s a permanent state of frustration.
David: I can relate. I spent most of the last year in that space. At the end of each day I was constantly frustrated because I wouldn’t have achieved everything that I had said I wanted to. I have some quotes for you that will set the scene, and then I’ll get practical. So, ‘When you die, your inbox will not be empty.’ Right?
Client: Yeah.
David: Actually, I’m going to leave it at one quote. So that’s always going to happen. Now, I wonder what it would be like for you, I really do, to set targets for the next 7 days that you could actually hit – and hit them.
The following is an excerpt from Top Coaching Techniques.
1. Pick a goal that excites you – not something you think you SHOULD have.
2. Would you choose this if you only had 12 months to live? Reassess your priorities.
3. Make it real by being specific: by when will you have it? How many, what colour? How will you feel?
4. Will this goal fulfil you, or just be another thing to have? Is it thing related, or people related? Spiritual? Something which expresses who you really are?
5. What are the key milestones to achieve along the way. Again, be specific.
6. Work out how to make it fun – be creative. e.g. a picture of the dream body you will become on your wall.
7. Broadcast it. Commit to this by telling three key people you will do this, announcing it via email, and putting a display up on your wall. (If you’re concerned about failure or how you’ll look, work with a coach).
8. Don’t play Lone Ranger. Write your list of what who and what you have access to which could help you.
9. Write your list of what needs to be done to achieve the first milestone.
10. Put your support structures in place to help you achieve this (e.g. a buddy doing the same thing, a coach, diarised action steps at specific times)
The following is an excerpt from Top Coaching Techniques.
Instead of floundering around, you’re actually working on some exciting, inspiring goals. So, you start with what do you want, and help them. Some questions you can ask that might help elicit that are things like, ‘What’s one thing you’d love to change?’ ‘Is there anything in your life that you hate?’ ‘Is there anything in your life that you’d really love to have more of?’ Another good one is, ‘If there was a goal that might be even too big for you to achieve – but if you could have anything in the world, you’d probably go for it – what would that be?
Client: OK, yeah.
David: OK, now another way to break that down when people are having trouble, is to ask them about different areas of their life and go through the standard areas; relationships, finances, health, career. Go through that and just ask them to maybe score each one out of ten. That will tell you pretty quickly if the client is saying, ‘Oh, I just have no idea what I’d work on with a coach.’ That will tell you pretty quickly which area is not so hot.
Client: Yeah.
David: Then you can work with them on creating a goal. Now a lot of people can tell you what they don’t want. Part of your job is to spin it around. Haven them tell you what they do want that could replace that. So, no negative goals – no, ‘Oh, I want to get rid of my partner, or my relationship.’ You want to turn that around…
