The following is taken from David’s interview with Mike Turner in 10 Super Coaches.
What method did you find most effective in getting your initial clients?
Getting work through my existing network.
Initially, I took every opportunity to try and sell my coaching services whenever the opportunity presented itself. After I had been doing this for a couple of years, I reviewed where the work I was doing had come from. What I found, to my surprise, was that none of it had come directly from the people to whom I had been trying to sell it – instead it had all come from unexpected directions.
But what I also realized was that it was important that I was putting myself about rather than just sitting around at home waiting for work to show up. The principle here seems to be that, if I put out my energy for coaching into the world (by talking about what I do, by writing about it, and by taking any opportunity to demonstrate coaching), this energy comes back in the form of work – but by a circuitous and indirect route.
And when I realized this, I stopped trying so hard to sell coaching to the people I met and instead focused more on promoting coaching – which in turn makes the energy flow more easily.
The following is an excerpt of David’s interview in Top Coaching Techniques.
David: Well I know you are, Ingrid, but there’s some people out there who may feel a little less than perfect. Now here’s the thing. Often, when we look for a relationship, and I include myself in this, often when we look, we’re looking because we don’t feel whole and complete on our own. We’re not happy and we feel lonely, and therefore we want a relationship to feel connected. Okay? That’s very common.
Ingrid: All right, so what you’re saying then is that we have to feel whole before we start looking?
David: You don’t have to, but it helps. It helps so much. What I would say is you want to be enjoying your life, and that is your number one priority. Actually, it’s your number one priority on the planet, we could say. You must be enjoying your life. So if you’re really desperate for a relationship – and there’s nothing wrong with that; many times I’ve been very desperate to have some company or have someone in a relationship – what you want to look at is whether you’re enjoying your life. If you’re not – which is very likely if you’re desperate for a relationship – you want to look at what you could do to your life to have it be more fun for you. Then, the irony is, if you spend a couple of months on this and you go and get your house looking the way you want it to look, you get your clothes looking the way you want them to look, you go to the gym – if that’s bugging you; only if it’s bugging you – and you really start enjoying your life – maybe buying that guitar and taking some lessons, and going out to that club you want to go at – you are going to be so much more attractive to everybody.
The following is an excerpt of David’s interview in Top Coaching Techniques.
Ingrid: Yes. I think there’s a whole topic to talk about on dating, but just as far as my experience goes, David, the best dates are ones that you’re not just going to the movies or perhaps having dinner, but you’re actually doing something, like going bowling or going bush walking.
David: Yeah. I don’t recommend the movies unless it’s combined with something else, because in movies, they’re just there with you while you’re watching something else, you know? So something where you can talk or go for a stroll, and check out some cafes. You said how do you do that date thing. I’m going to give a tip here to the listeners, which is more important than almost anything else that I can talk about in this program, and that is you need to ask.
Ingrid: You’ll have to explain that.
David: You need to invite somebody. If you want a date, you need to invite somebody. You can’t just – I mean yes, there are ways, particularly for women, to look attractive and drop hints, and this and that, but basically, if you spot somebody who is at least remotely, possibly the kind of person you’d like to spend more time with, ask them. ‘Hey, you know what? I’m interested in doing some bowling or whatever, do you want to come?’ You’ve got to really put yourself on the line. One exercise I’ve given people before is, if you’re really hesitant about asking people, is get out there and ask ten people and make sure you get at least two or three no’s.
The following is an excerpt of David’s interview in Top Coaching Techniques.
David: It’s simply be practical. If you’re after a relationship, you can sit at home or you can complain to your friends that you’re not in a partnership, or you can actually write down who you’re looking for, get out there off your butt, join a club. If you’re after people who are into personal development, go and do some personal development courses. Go and do an acting course. Go and do some dancing. That’s often a wonderful way to meet people; get into some kind of dancing class. I’ll tell you, that’s one of the best tips I’ve ever come up with from a Ingrid.
Ingrid: Really?
David: Because you not only meet people who are into the same things that you are – for example, into dancing or into going out – but you also get to spend maybe six weeks or eight weeks with the same people, and you get to know them. You don’t have to go to a bar, and walk up to someone and try and establish a relationship under the influence of alcohol, but you’ve actually got time to develop a relationship and see, ‘Do I want to ask this person out, or do I not?’
The following is taken from David’s interview with Anna Dargitz in 10 Super Coaches.
What top three methods, in order, did you use to get your clients in the first 2 years?
Your question implies that I had lots of clients my first 2 years. I did not. I had about 5-6 per month generally, though they stayed with me for years.
My top method, at first, was asking friends and family because I didn’t have a ready-made network and position at my disposal. It wasn’t pretty. I felt needy and desperate with an overlay of optimism. And of course, it was all quite unconscious. What I was aware of was that I was a new coach in a new coaching industry. I had to do a lot of educating.
My second method was to attend networking events, especially Chamber of Commerce. This too felt dry. I was a fish out of water. I did my best to live up to some measure of success defined as “number of paying clients” and felt miserable about my lack of success.
My third method was asking for referrals, handing out brochures and business cards, public speaking and building a website on a shoe string budget, all with little success. Everything I read, everything I was told indicated that this was how it was done. I thought, “there must be something wrong with me”.
The following is an excerpt of David’s interview in Top Coaching Techniques.
Ingrid: Okay. Now sometimes the hardest thing is to find out or try and work out who the right person is for you, what sort of person you’d like to spend the rest of your life with, or a big part of your life with. Where do you start with that?
David: Yes. Bear in mind, I’ll give you an answer but you can’t really do it properly because the head thinks it knows what it wants, and the head says, ‘Oh, I want this kind of person and this kind of person.’ Ultimately, you know, you may not want that at all, or that may not be right for you. There really is a bit of trust about the whole thing, but the head wants an answer so let’s give it one. What a great thing to do is take a piece of paper and list all the qualities – this is like relationship 101 – list all the qualities that you’re looking for in a relationship. You can talk about physical qualities, so if you’re a woman, how tall is this guy? Does he have to blond? Does he have to have a firm butt? What kind of job does this guy have? Is he really open and outgoing? Is he quiet and shy? Is he sensitive? Has he got a hard edge to him? You know, really list what you’re looking for, and then what I think is a wonderful thing is circle the things that you absolutely must have, that you would rather die alone, an old person, rather than pick anybody else.
